Pain and deep anguish are some of the emotions that individuals experience after suffering a loss. This loss may take many forms such as the end of a relationship or death. What makes the pain of loss even more intense is the fact that many people do not understand the emotions that they are experiencing. Elisabeth Kubler Ross attempted to shed light on the process of mourning. She identified five steps that individuals go through as part of mourning. These steps are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross
Ross is recognized as an authority on the dying process. She sought to fill the gap that resulted from the failure of the scholarly community to shed light on the experiences of dying individuals and their families and friends (Latson, 2015). Thanks to the efforts of Ross, many people have gained a better understanding of the desires of those who are dying. Perhaps the most notable contribution that Ross is remembered for is that she allowed people to understand that it is possible to predict the stages that individuals go through as they mourn. Ross understood that different people mourn differently. This means that the grieving process that she developed does not necessarily apply to all individuals. However, it still serves as a useful tool for understanding the grieving process.
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The stages of mourning
Denial
Denial marks the first stage of the grieving process. At this stage, one simply refuses to accept that the loss has occurred (Patricelli, n.d). For example, after losing a loved one, an individual may refuse to admit that the death has taken place. Denial follows from the shock that individuals experience when they suffer a loss. This stage is a coping mechanism that shields those who have suffered lost from their reality. While it is helpful for individuals to go through this stage, it is more important for them to eventually acknowledge that they have suffered a loss. This sets the stage for healing to begin.
Anger
Anger is the second stage of the grieving process. When they reach this stage, those who have suffered loss direct their anger at people or entities that they believe are responsible for their loss (Patricelli, n.d). These can be God, their family, the hospital staff and many others. It has to be noted that this anger is usually misplaced. It is important for those who are blamed to avoid taking the anger personally. The intensity of the pain of loss simply blinds the grieving person from recognizing the reality. Such parties as hospital staff and family members should remain supportive to ensure that the grieving person recovers.
Bargaining
Anger paves the way for bargaining. At this stage, one is yet to fully come to terms with their loss. Here, the dying person makes promises to God in the hope that he will extend their life (Patricelli, n.d). The promise may involve committing to making lifestyle changes and becoming a better person. It has to be noted that bargaining is a futile and desperate effort. The death of the dying person is inevitable. It is also impossible for a grieving person to bring back someone that they have lost. Despite the fact that it does not deliver any meaningful benefit, the bargaining stage is still an important phase of the grieving and dying process.
Depression
Depression follows after the bargaining process. At this stage, the dying or grieving person is beginning to accept their reality. As a dying person gets closer to death, they lose hope and strength. Their interest in life declines and they are unable to participate in activities that they previously derived pleasure from. The same can be said about people who are grieving. These people feel sorry for themselves and experience deep agony. Those charged with the responsibility of caring for the dying and the grieving need to understand that the stage of depression is important. They should allow these people to fully explore sadness. This is how the dying can make peace with the impending death and the grieving can move on with their lives.
Acceptance
Acceptance marks the ultimate stage of the dying process. Here, the dying or grieving person finally recognizes the reality of their situation (Kromberg, 2013). The dying person accepts that death is impeding and inevitable. On the other hand, the grieving person acknowledges the loss that they have suffered. At this stage, these people are no longer angry or depressed. A note should be made that acceptance does not necessarily mean that the individual has given up. Instead, it means that the person has become alive to their situation. Acceptance facilitates the healing process and is therefore a vital component of the grieving and dying process.
In conclusion, Kubler Ross helped to shed light on the experiences of those who are grieving and dying. She identified the stages that these individuals go through. Initially, the individuals express denial which gives way to anger and bargaining. Depression and acceptance are the final phases of the process of mourning. The mourning process that Ross developed is important for providing support to those who have suffered loss or staring at death. The providers of care need to allow those who are grieving and dying to go through all the steps. It is also important for the providers to ensure that these individuals do not stay at a given stage for too long. They must work with these individuals to ensure that they find healing and recover fully from their loss.
References
Kromberg, J. (2013). The Five Stages of Grieving at the End of a Relationship. Retrieved
29th July 2017 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-out/201309/the-5-stages-grieving-the-end-relationship
Latson, J. (2015). The Woman who made Loss a Conversation Starter. Retrieved 29th July
2017 from http://time.com/3946458/kubler-ross-history/
Patricelli, K. (n.d). Stage of Grief Models: Kubler-Ross. Retrieved 29th July 2017 from
http://www.amhc.org/58-grief-bereavement-issues/article/8444-stage-of-grief-models-kubler-ross
