Growing up in the nineties and early 2000s in America was a very different experience than it is now. Many neighborhoods had people living like large families where the people would often interact and socialize physically and on a daily basis unlike today where technology and social media has minimized the instances when people meet and interact physically and on a personal basis. This common interaction meant that children were also raised in a community-like setting where everyone older than you was taken as your guardian and expected to have a moral duty of care to anyone younger and that was how children were raised back then.
Kohlberg’s Premoral stage of moral development usually occurred in this community setting where an older neighbor would easily punish you for a wrong you committed even when your parent/ guardian was not around. It was even more interesting as this neighbor would still wait for your parent to come back home and they would report the wrongs you committed earlier and your parent would add to the punishment you had already received. This on-the-spot punishment carried out by the community ensured that children were always aware of their surrounding before engaging in any activities that would not be approved of by the society. This behavior also ensured that children had huge respect for their elder neighbors and others in the community since they served as a representation of their parents who should be respected. Any sign of disrespect or disobedience was met with punishment and that would see many kids avoid behaviors that would attract some form of punishment.
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At a horizontal level, kids would always help each other out in escaping punishment even if it involved taking the blame for a friend to help them avoid punishment from the parent. This would happen since the one taking the blame at that time would be doing so knowing that he would require the other to do the same for him when time came to escape punishment. This arrangement came to be known locally to as ‘do me I do you’. This instrumental exchange stage of moral development is something that would still persist in adulthood where neighbors would interact with you on the basis of how you treat them. Whatever you do for them is what they’ll also give you in return.
Kohlberg’s stage of interpersonal/ tribal conformity is a stage that really hit once we were in our teens. It saw a lot of people succumbing to peer pressure just to be accepted into certain social cliques and also to gain the respect of their peers. Many young people found themselves in gangs without the knowledge of their parents who would think they were just hanging out with friends. These gangs offered a false sense of belonging and acceptance as one would have access to alcohol, drugs and even get to interact with many girls who were attracted to the ‘bad-boy’ mentality. Gang violence had been a real problem in Los Angeles where we were raised although it gradually declined in the early 2000s registering a drop in homicide rates more than twice that of New York.
Development into a good citizen would lead one to a stage of societal conformity where one would yearn for a respect of law and order in the society. This would mean all people being responsible for the welfare of others in the society without bias or discrimination. There’s one particular event that lingers in my memories very clearly and acts as a point in life where I really yearned for people to just observe law and order and for justice to be served to all. This was the nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida in June of 2016 where a gunman opened fire in a gay nightclub killing 49 people. The shooting brought so much pain and elicited a nationwide discussion about intolerance of other people’s lifestyles since the shooter had specifically targeted gays. This and other shootings that have occurred in schools have really shaped my values as to the precious nature of human lives and how we are responsible for each other’s safety but more especially responsible for those who cannot effectively protect themselves such as young students. These incidents have made me support tougher criminal sentences for perpetrators of gun violence to serve as some form of justice to the affected victims and their families.
There have been many people who have influenced my life in particular ways and many people regard their parents as the most influential people in their lives. This is no different for me but in my case, it was something they did that later on when I thought about it, it must have been one of the most selfless things I saw someone doing for others. It was in August of 2005 and Hurricane Katrina had just hit the Gulf Coast causing untold damage with New Orleans being badly affected. Everything was just a mess judging from what was shown in the news. One time as we were watching the news, my dad told my mom that they needed to do something to help those who were suffering in New Orleans. The next morning, they came and told us that they had decided to go to New Orleans to help out with the relief efforts despite knowing no one in that city. When we enquired why they would leave the comfort of their homes to help people who did not know them, they politely replied that it reaches a point in life when you stop living for yourself and you start living for others to attain a life you would be proud living. This statement changed my worldview and as they left to serve in New Orleans for the next three weeks, my life was impacted in a way I never imagined before. My mind was opened to the fact after all is said and done, we truly live to impact other people’s lives. It was also evident through the government’s delayed reactions that the power to affect the lives of people in a nation lies with the people and not the government as I had thought before.
Since these New Orleans excursion by my parents, I have volunteered for numerous other efforts and activities aimed at helping those in dire need of assistance such as in hospices, victims of other disasters and even the less fortunate in the society such as homeless and even recovering drug addicts. To reach this stage of moral development where one feels like they have attained whatever satisfaction it is they feel necessary to them and are now willing to put their lives at risk to assist others is something I look forward to. Such are the experiences and people that have affected and shaped my values and my understanding of truth in the society.
