There are numerous topics under the subject of marriage and family, alongside theories that seek to explain the interactions and happenings in families. Such theories include feminist theories and conflict theories. Feminist theories strive to comprehend and ultimately minimize on inequalities that are based on gender. Conflict theory seeks to tackle a set of questions; the question of who has power and why they have it, who has access to the most resources and why them; who wins arguments and why; how are inequalities perpetuated in the family (Schwartz & Scott, 2015). This paper is going to major on the topic of conflict in family and marriage alongside evidence from conflict theories in the family.
Marriage is the basic foundation of most family setups. It refers to a socially and legally recognized union between spouses. Marriage establishes and enhances various rights and obligations between them, their children and their in-laws. Family in most cases is used to mean groups of related people whose bonding connections are either based on biological, emotional or legal aspects (Cohen, 2014). Families can be viewed as institutional arenas in which the relations between people in common interactive positions are defined on a set of accepted rules of interaction (Cohen, 2014). In the family institutions, people express themselves as intimate and social beings. They are also able to show care and concern as well as bear children. Legal family’s definition is based on a group of people who are related by birth, marriage or adoption (Cohen, 2014). The legal aspects of a family setup are regulation, and under this provision, resources are redistributed, and violence is controlled.
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Sociology of the family refers to how people think about the individuals they consider as part of their families. Family relationships more often than not bring about social obligations majorly based on the expectation of care and commitment. They also define most social obligations either formally or informally. The family unit is subject to predetermined authority either directly or indirectly, and the decisions made within or without the stipulated boundaries cause consequences on the involved members. Based on an individual’s choice and their cultural patterns, personal family refers to the people to whom we feel related, and we expect them to define us as members of their family too (Cohen, 2014). The social norms are the informal rules and regulations that are based on value systems that govern how people live, what they do and how they do it. Established theories are means by which we look at how society operates as a tool to single out situations and build facts upon them.
People in a given unit struggle for power and disagree as they compete for resources. Conflict theory appreciates these facts and addresses how people in a family setup struggle for power and the actions they take in a bid to compete for different resources. It would be wrong to make the common assumption that all families are harmonious institutions in which there is no major conflicts or disagreement (Bartos & ehr, 2012). It is significant to venture into examining how different members struggle and engage in conflicts from time to time.
The family is a social institution whose contribution to social equality or inequality is very significant. In the family units, wealth is passed along from parents to children. Different families differ greatly on the amount of wealth they have, and as a result, this is a major determinant that reinforces on the already existing inequality. The families’ wealth continues to develop over time and through industrialization making the family unit more patriarchal when it comes to reinstating individual’s status on the social hierarchy. A larger fraction of the family conflicts is based on economic inequality. For most families, it is due to the fact they either live near the poverty line or in dire lack of the available resources. It is true that money does not bring happiness all the time, but at the same time intensive poverty causes stress and struggles that adversely affects the family functional systems and relationships.
The family also causes conflict for its members. Most functional perspectives hold onto the assumptions that the family is the main source of emotional support and comfort for its members, but this is not always true. Most families undergo conflicts as a result of the individual members going through struggle and disharmony. From the conflicts, some members use emotional cruelty, physical violence while others argue and shout. As a result, the struggles in families have various dynamics and are greatly influenced by the individual family members. Identifying the main source of power and the common causes of conflict is paramount. As a result, it goes a long way in understanding how a family deals with upcoming changes and adversity.
The other source of conflict in families is patriarchy in which most husbands earn more than their wives. Conflict theorists perceive the family as a social arrangement that benefits the men in them more than the women. The traditional form of family in most cultures holds onto patriarchal approaches. This contributes immensely to gender based inequalities. There are higher tendencies for men to have more power as compared to the women. More value and significance is attached to the male roles and responsibilities unlike the major engagements stipulate for women such as child rearing and housekeeping. As a result, the men feel like they are above their wives and are the family heads. Some wives resist this notion deeming it as an old-fashioned approach to marriage, and this becomes a major source of discord for most marriages. The effects of spousal conflicts are experienced by the children involved and the entire family especially if they are not resolved before they turn into a huge crisis (Manocha, 2015).
Time is another resource that contributes to family conflict. For family members that are only concerned with selfish needs, time and money remain scarce, and they pose conflicts for the family on how each should be spent to make sure they get their way. If a parent’s job demands their being away from home most of the time, the spouse readily available at home with the children will in most cases feel overwhelmed and neglected. This results in conflict, but should they lose their jobs and be in no position to provide for the family, it would also result in stress and conflict. Love, power and decision making are also scarce resources for most families, and they bring about much struggle among individual members (Manocha, 2015).
Sibling rivalry is also a major cause of family conflict. It is mostly caused by the competition for attention and approval children seek from their parents. In the competition, a child may tattle on their sibling or cause them harm. At times one child may express jealousy of their other sibling or compete with them. It is also caused by non-stop teasing of one child by their sibling (Manocha, 2015). The effects of this are family conflicts that tend to escalate especially when a parent seems to favor one child over another. The resolve is attained when the parents can give each child an equal amount of parental love and acceptance as they all deserve (Manocha, 2015).
It is crucial for family members to appreciate the fact that most human interactions bring about disagreements and this eventually leads to conflict. However, it is within the conflict context that the family can experience the most growth and development. The changes and adversaries that family encounters give it a better position to establish its stand and cultivate improved habits to handle such occurrences in the future. As such, the family unit should be focused on learning to manage conflict ensuring it does not alienate some of the members leading to estranged relations within (Manocha, 2015).
When a family can successfully go through its major causes of conflict and establish their most valued source of power, then they can manage their struggle and overcome. It would be better placed to come up with effective means by which they can communicate and understand one another. What would work best in resolving conflict is; having the family members engage in understanding their family’s dynamics and appreciating the intensive causes of the disagreement and struggle. This understanding is bound to bring a desire for change causing the family members to be motivated towards complete participation in the growth and development of more healthy and positive relationships within the setup. It would also help a great deal if the family members developed more empathetic attitudes towards each other based on the dynamics comprehension (Schwartz & Scott, 2015).
Family conflicts are bound to occur, and they are stimulated by different factors in different families. Appreciating this is important in teaching a family to embrace the hardships that come along with the conflicts and together seek to define a way to overcome them and emerge stronger. It is important for family members to learn to express their feelings in a safe environment. Coming up with strategies to use in tackling a conflict is helpful. Such strategies include agreeing to avoid raising voices or engaging physical acts when one is angry, giving each member an uninterrupted time to talk and focusing on addressing issues not turning them into personal attacks. Each family member should believe that there exists a solution to each conflict and participate in finding it.
References
Bartos, O. J., & ehr, P. E. (2012). Using conflict theory. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Cohen, P. N. (2014). The Family. w. w. Norton & Company Publishers.
Manocha, B. L. (2015). Marriage conflicts: causes and cures. New Delhi: Sterling Paperbacks.
Schwartz, D. M., & Scott, D. B. (2015). Marriages and Families: Diversity and Change. Northeastern Illinois University.
