Parenting a Child Who Is Being Bullied

Parenting a Child who is Being Bullied

Parenting is the overall definition of the repetitive behaviour that makes up the parent child relationship. This involves a combination of love, discipline and providence. A parent will often face challenges in the journey of parenting. One such challenge that may arise is in the case where a child is being bullied. Although a parent's first instinct will be to try and confront the parent of the bully, this will not be the best approach. This is a chance for the parent to put in place measures to teach the child how to defend themselves and create resilience in their character.

A parent can first approach their child with love. Love can be shown in simple ways that communicate care and concern. Giving a child attention is the best way to show love. This can be done by spending time with the child in simple ways such as during play time, doing simple chores and sharing meals. The child will become comfortable with the parent during such activities. This is when the issue of bullying may arise. A parent may notice the child is changing in behaviour as they may become withdrawn and sad.

An open child may confess their experiences to the parents. When this happens, the parent must show their support by providing assurance. Let the child know that he is not to blame for the bully's actions. Also reassure the child that he is valuable and work on exercises that build his self esteem. This can be done by affirming any good deeds he does with words of encouragement and praise. This will help the child feel loved and assured that he has a safe haven in his parents.

Once a child is assured that they are loved through acceptance and affection, they become easy to teach. A parent can teach a child who is being bullied to defend himself. This can be done by enrolling the child in self defense classes such as karate. The classes will teach the child both discipline and courage. It would be best to learn this skills together with the child as this will embolden them further. This will also provide them with a different circle of friends. That will help them realise that they can develop a social circle outside the one that they are bullied in.

A parent may also consistently enforce chores as a means of earning allowances. This will teach work ethics and reverse the mentality of entitlement that may lead to negative habits like bullying. Finally, enforce only a minimum number of laws because they will give structure. This will help the child to know the difference between right and wrong. Fewer rules will also help the child to develop an internal decision making mechanism. This will assist during challenges like bullying where the child must make their own decisions.

Parenting Children Dealing with Pornography

Pornography creates many social ills in children. It creates sexual awareness early and leads to early indulgence in sexual activity. The children involved may also engage in harmful and illegal practices when they try to recruit other children into the vice. The parent can protect a child from pornography by limiting the access they have to such material. The home should be free of pornography in print or electronic media. Leading by example is the best way to lead. The parent should also device ways to place checks and controls on the child's electronic devices. This include the mobile phone and the laptop they use, as well as any device that may be exposed such as smart devices. The best check is to put in place restrictions on the browsers they use.

In cases where a child is found to be actively consuming pornography, then the child must be punished. This can be done by withdrawing priviledges such as internet based gadgets and other such facilities. The child's social interactions can also be limited until the parent determines all the other possible sources of pornography. Once this is done, the parent can begin to talk to the child and determine the cause of such habits. The most common reason is often curiosity. The parent can over come this by explaining the nature of sexuality. This can be explained in the context of gender first and then by explaining sexual relations.

The other way to counter pornography is to explain the context of sexual acts to a child. This can be done by providing educational content that explains the role of sex in procreation. This can help in demonstrating the consequences and side effects. Sex can also be described as a source of expression where two consenting adults show each other their feelings. Here the lesson on rape can arise so that the child learns the meaning and implications of consent. Lastly, show the child that pornography is unrealistic and therefore not beneficial to the child's structure. This will help in rehabilitating against the effects of pornography and protecting a child from further exposure.

Divorce and remarriage

Divorce is a rapidly growing social occurrence that is affecting the stability of many nuclear families. It is not uncommon for divorced people to form new unions that go on to become new marriages. The Christian faith may be opposed to such unions because of several reasons. The first reason is that the Bible is against divorce. This is because according to the Bible, marriage is a covenant. A person may get divorced physically and legally but the covenant will not be dissolved. This makes remarriage complicated because people often break marriages so as to be free to be with other people. Remarriage can then be seen as adultery because the marriage covenant has not been dissolved.

The Bible permits remarriage in some unique situations. The first is if the marriage broke down as a result of adultery. Adultery brings in another person into the marriage and this breaks down the original marriage covenant. Divorce is therefore permitted in such a situation although it is discouraged. Divorce in general is discouraged because it goes against God's original will of a life long covenant. But if divorce occurs because of adultery, then the two are free to remarry. Biblically, adultery is the only permitted ground for divorce and remarriage. The Bible advocates for people to stay together to avoid the pain and suffering of separation. This includes emotional pain and physical relocation. The children may also be affected by the resultant uncertainty.

Divorce is also permitted in the Bible if one of the partners is physically abusive. The abusive partner may be facing a struggle with vices like mental illness, alcoholism or general personality disorder. If their actions place their spouse in life threatening danger, then the Bible permits divorce. This is if other alternatives are sought and the problem cannot be resolved. In such a case, remarriage is allowed so that the innocent partners in the divorce may rebuilt their lives with other partners. This also applies in the case of abandonment. The secular society does not look down on divorce and remarriage and in fact , some couples have divorced and remarried more than once.

The Gay Marriage Debate

The word marriage was previously known to be describing a union between a man and a woman. Changing norms in society have seen the nature of relationships changing to reflect other types of relationships. They include unions between two women, two men or even polygamous unions that involve more than one partner of the opposite sex. The Bible clearly objects gay marriage because it goes against the design of marriage. Others argue that although this is so gay partners should be allowed to solemnise their unions. This is to allow them to benefit from some of the legal benefits of marriage. Supporters also argue that denying the partners their marriage will not reverse or stop the actions of those involved.

The biblical structure of marriage is like a pyramid. This structure is similar to that representing God and the church. The structure gives a man a place of authority over the home just as God is the head of the church. Now, in a gay marriage, their is no clear head. This is especially difficult in the case of a union between two men. None of them can submit to the other or take spiritual authority over the home. Instead the home will be confused because there will be no authority.

The other reason why such marriages are opposed is because of the inability of such unions to bear offspring. For a married woman and woman to bear children they must undergo vigorous medical procedures that will result in unnatural ways of procreation. The same case applies to man and man. This progression leads to unconventional ways of procreation that Christianity opposes. Lastly, marriage is considered a spiritual covenant between two people. A gay marriage does not fit this description because it goes against the definition of marriage. The Gay debate does not stand a chance before Bible scholars although it continues to dominate secular circles.

References

Peppler, C. L. (n.d). In Seven Key Truths, .  Conspectus: the Journal of the South African Theological Seminary , 1-89