Perspective on Human Sexuality-Letter to Self
In my profession as a social worker, my thought on sex and sexuality is that I regard this as an essential part of human functioning and an integral part of competent social work practice. Both practitioners and clients continue to be influenced by these discourses. Evidence reveals that sex and sexuality are clinical priorities for many clients. As a social worker, I strive to gain competence in this area in order to offer quality assessment and treatment to my clients. According to Craig et al. (2017), although sex and sexuality are something every person can relate to, discussions on this topic have long been perceived as taboo. Since sex and sexuality are an important part of human life, they should be incorporated in social worker education. Several research studies have highlighted gaps in regards to the lack of emphasis on sexuality in social work education.
I generally do not feel comfortable discussing sex and sexuality as my professional role. My hesitation includes a lack of adequate experience since I am relatively new in social work practice, feelings around my sexuality, and religious upbringing.
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The obstacles to sexuality-related discussions in my social work practice lack cultural competence to engage clients in sexuality-related conversations. Sometimes, a lack of cultural competence hinders me from engaging in sexual conversations with clients from different cultural backgrounds. I am aware that many people are not comfortable with the topic of sexuality and believe that clients do not anticipate that I would discuss this area with them. I am aware that avoiding such discussions is a disservice to my clients because sexuality is an important part of human life and our health and well-being.
My wish to explore this content is that I change my approach to my social work practice by reflecting on my feelings, beliefs, and attitudes so that I can work effectively with clients on different topics, including sex and sexuality. In addition, reflecting on my own beliefs will help me accept my relationship with sexuality, thus changing me as a person to have the aspiration to do this type of work. With the few clients I have worked with from different cultures, I have understood that sexuality crosses cultures. Each individual can relate to, meaning it depends on the comfort level of the social work to have conversations in this area. The idea that certain cultures may not be comfortable engaging in sexuality discussions is an assumption. I believe it is my fear and discomfort that hinder me from engaging in these conversations. I hope to utilize the available tools to help me enhance my cultural competence, which can impact how I work with diverse clients on this topic.
Uncoupling Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation
Gender identity refers to a person’s inner perception of their gender as feminine or masculine. Sexual orientation is a set of meanings that are culturally-defined, through which individuals define their sexual attractions. The three parts of sexual orientation include sexual identity, behavior, and attraction (McGeorge et al., 2020). The list of words that are used to describe gender identity and sexual orientation include:
Gender-a set of characteristics used to differentiate between two sexes, male and female.
Transgender-describes people whose sex is assigned from birth transforms into a different one as they grow up or individuals whose sex assigned at birth is incomplete or incorrect identity of themselves.
Intersex-describes individuals whose genitalia cannot be classified easily as female or male.
Gay-describes male individuals who are primarily or exclusively attracted to other male individuals.
Lesbian-Describes female individuals who are exclusively attracted to other female individuals.
Bisexual-describes an individual who is attracted to more than one gender, which could be male or female.
Pansexual-describes, an individual who is attracted to any gender.
Heterosexual-describes attraction exclusively to individuals of the opposite sex.
Queer-is a political term used to describe LGBT people.
Some of the gender identity and sexual orientation terms are considered defamatory when used. For example, queer has been found to be controversial because some people feel disrespected. Evidence reveals that using the word queer critiques ways in which individuals identify themselves with their sexual orientation. Some believe that the word is a label, which they find offensive. This can be confusing to me and, therefore, can be uncomfortable for me to use these words while dealing with my clients. This perspective demonstrates the need to have more flexibility and fluid conceptualization on matters of sexuality, which provides room for freedom, negotiation, and change. The current system that classifies people on their sexual orientation and gender identity poses confusion. Although the words can be confusing, the social work programs assist in preparing social workers for different content areas that are challenging, which we are likely to experience throughout our careers. Therefore, this knowledge can help me overcome such challenges and effectively address the needs of clients.
What I need to do as a social worker to become comfortable using the words of gender identity and sexual orientation to identify people include; using these words in a positive sense instead of using these terminologies to refer to people’s gender identity and sexual orientation. I can ask clients how they identify themselves and request them to explain what the identity means to them. This can be helpful in my social worker profession because I will avoid making assumptions regarding clients’ desires, thoughts, and behaviors based on their identity. By asking clients courteously and clarifying questions, I can get a clear picture and understanding of who the client is and not what I assume who the client is.
I can also become comfortable using these words by observing and following the standards set by society. For instance, some people find it offensive if described as queer, and some have no problem identifying themselves like that. Through acknowledgment of these societal standards, I can learn to handle clients who express themselves differently by emulating their actions to suit their identity. Human sexuality is a diverse topic, and as a social worker profession, I pride myself on being inclusive and culturally competent. Some of these words can be underwhelming or overwhelming as terminologies representing the broad spectrum of identity. As a social worker, I should focus on enhancing my understanding of our society's existing diversity to serve our clients better.
Personal Responses to Sex and Sexuality: Recognizing Biases and Assumptions
Sexuality expression and actions are highly influenced by culture. The societal and household sexual norms, which we grow up with, are the earliest influences on our perceptions and understanding of sexuality. Each society perceives and interprets the concept of sex and sexuality in different ways. Society creates norms and places great significance on the conformity to these norms. The norms determine what is recognized as acceptable or normal sexual behavior. Different cultures have different norms, such as their understanding and perception of sexuality, their influence on sexuality expression, their interpretation of certain sexual behaviors, and their understanding of the association between sexuality and gender (Mason, Cocker & Hafford-Letchfield, 2020).
I was raised in a religious setting, where sex was considered bad or feared. This notion hindered me from exploring my sexuality early. This fear has remained with me as an adult, and it is hard to shake. Different religions teach different things regarding what entails sexual morality; thus, members have different beliefs and practices. This means that religious teachings as essential as a determinant factor of sexual behavior.
Most religions have established moral codes, which guide sexual practices and activities. For instance, my religion does not support gay relationships or marriage, which is considered a sin. The religion teaches me that sex is sacred and should be practiced between a woman and a man under the institution of marriage. Sex before marriage is considered sinful and shameful. Another example is that in my culture, society values monogamy and is against extramarital affairs. People are taught about these values early by their religion, education systems, and family.
As a social worker, I recognize that culture and religion have caused biasness and assumptions. Personally, I may judge particular sexual behavior based on my religious beliefs, which are created by my lived experiences and worldviews. Although my personal beliefs may be perfect for me, they may not be suitable for others. As a social worker, I am aware that I have a moral and ethical responsibility to empower clients to get better solutions that are free from my personal biases and values. According to Mason, Cocker, and Hafford-Letchfield (2020), research has shown that some social worker professions displayed negative attitudes towards gay and lesbians. It is evident that these practitioners are guided by social, moral, and religious prejudices, which prevent them from delivering appropriate and supportive services to their clients. This assignment has prompted me to examine the existing conflict that I have between my religion and people with different gender identities and sexual orientations. These individuals may have utmost needs and require services and support to meet their needs.
The Biology of Sex: Arousal and Response
I learned about puberty in my health lesson when I was ten years old. The teacher gave us a lecture on the reproductive system, including information on puberty and the emotional and physical changes involved. This information helped me identify the changes that occur, how to cope with the changes, and how to deal with the feelings that occur during these changes. The lesson helped me create a comfort level with the topic at the onset of puberty. Children can experience feelings of fear or excitement as they enter puberty. I understood that puberty is a stage of life and the physical changes have an effect on a person.
I developed the myth for understanding puberty and sex when I was young because children are purchased from the hospital. I had no idea what sex is, how children are made and how they are born. I believed this myth because I could see my mother coming from the hospital with my little sister. However, I came to learn later that children are born. Another myth I developed during puberty is that girls grow faster than boys. The reason is that I had learned that puberty in girls begins earlier than for boys. Puberty changes in girls occur between the age of 8 and 16 years, while for boys, the changes begin between the age of 12 and 18. With this understanding, I always believed girls grow older faster than boys. In addition, for girls whose puberty changes begin earlier than the majority of the people, I always perceive them as older. Students who experienced puberty earlier than their peers used to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed because they believed their peers would look at them as older. However, I later learned that people are different, and there is no uniform time for the puberty changes to occur; even though people are at the same age, their bodies are different. Therefore, the transition phase can be difficult for some people. Early Provision of education on puberty is important so that children could have an adequate understanding of what to expect when they reach puberty and understand that it is a normal thing that happens to everyone and should be ashamed.
Puberty is a critical phase of life for our children where changes occur in bodies. It plays a significant role in transitioning from childhood to adulthood (Ramdani et al. 2020). Therefore, parents and teachers need to teach children about gender identity, sex, and sexual orientations before the onset of puberty. What they learn during this period will always hold onto those values. In addition, learning about yourself, your worth, and your identity is crucial in the puberty phase. This is when children are trying to figure things out, and puberty helps adolescents identify with themselves. The choices that are made during this time impact greatly on the kind of adult a person becomes.
Attitudes, Connections, and Intimacy: Approaches to Communication during Sex
Personally, intimacy means sharing intimate moments and feelings of physical and emotional closeness as well as trust towards each other between people who have a mutually consensual relationship. Whiting, Leavitt, and Boden (2020) point out that intimacy is built over time as you relate with a person, feel more comfortable as you spend time together, and learn to care about each other. Partners need to trust each other and feel safe and comfortable to share their needs without fear of repercussion or judgment. The partners should also be able to listen to the needs of one another. Intimacy is crucial because we are social beings who flourish in close personal relationships with other people. Intimacy can occur in romantic relationships, siblinghood, parent-child relationships, and friendships.
Expression of physical intimacy involves the act of communicating to your partner regarding your needs and gestures and expressing simple gestures such as kissing, maintaining eye contact, hugging, holding hands.
I consider emotional intimacy as closeness that enhances the ability of partners to communicate with one another, have trust, and feel secure. It makes a person vulnerable, whereby you are able to let your guard down and because you feel accepted. Partners are able to feel what the other person is feeling. Examples of emotional intimacy behaviors include exploring new activities together, being compassionate, loving, respectful, and kind towards their partner, and spending quality time with your partner.
The construct of intimacy can be operationalized with the psychological, cognitive, and physical lines with friends, family, pets, and children in significant ways. The construct of intimacy with cognitive lines can involve openness to verbal communication, which promotes mutual relevance in acts between partners. In physical lines, the construct of intimacy can involve encountering people physically. In psychological lines, the construct of intimacy can be operated through partners expressing the same idea. It involves the belief that people are guided by instincts, which can be attributed to friendship, where an individual seeks companionship to acquire other people's positive attention.
Taking a Sexual Health History
Initially felt a bit uncomfortable when answering questions on sexual health history because the questions were personal. However, after the practitioner assured me of complete confidentiality, and personal information provided cannot be disclosed. Although I managed to successfully answer most questions, the questions were many, and I was a bit overwhelmed. Sexual history questions have been integrated into the intake process or routine exam. By answering these questions, I learned that discussing matters regarding sex and sexuality is important because it helps me discover things I had no knowledge about. For instance, I discovered that having a history of sex-related issues could lead to death, sexual dysfunction, and depression. By providing these answers to the doctor, a client can have a comprehension of sex and sexuality, which is a crucial aspect in minimizing medical concerns associated with sexual orientation and sexual behavior. According to Bjarnadottir, Bockting, and Dowding (2017), answering the questions offers doctors critical information and support to the client because they are able to identify any sexual problems and high-risk sexual behavior.
In addition, I felt relaxed when answering sexual history questions because the doctor demonstrated a positive and non-judgmental attitude towards me. Whatever questions I admitted to, the doctor was non-judgmental. The doctor used certain techniques that made me feel relaxed such as a friendly greeting with a smile, ensuring that I am seated comfortably, and ensuring privacy. Moreover, the questions were open, which allowed me to answer with ease and explain myself comfortably. Asking closed questions that expects a specific response, “Yes” or “No.”
I was honest when answering the questions and did not censor myself at any point during the session. I realized that the purpose of the questions is to help the doctor accurately examine the risk of particular infections that are transmitted sexually. I was advised not to take any questions personally and that the information is confidential. This made me feel safe, and thus I provided the required information without censoring the answers.
Human Sexuality: Children and Adolescents
The best practices for working with children in general when having conversations about sex and sexuality include setting a solid foundation for these conversations early before adolescence. When sexual matters are discussed frequently and openly, it makes the child become comfortable having this conversation. Children learn about sex, sexuality, and relationships from an early age. Children become curious regarding their own bodies and that of others. This information will assist in minimizing shame and anxiety when it comes to matters of sexuality. These conversations should continue as opportunities arise. Being proactive is better than being reactive. We can start talking to children about sexuality before the onset of puberty before the child is exposed to media content such as pornography and practices of safe sex before the child becomes sexually active. Evidence reveals that offering comprehensive, honest, accurate information regarding sex and sexuality does not encourage children to engage in sexual activities but rather make informed choices. In addition, create an environment that would make a child comfortable. This involves making yourself approachable and honest encourages children to seek advice. If a child knows they will get the correct information regarding sex and sexuality, they will be open to having this conversation. Another approach that is generally used is to keep the conversation casual. Discussing sex and sexuality should not be a formal occasion. This discussion can be included in any other conversation to demonstrate that it is a normal part of life. Books are also used as resources to explain the concepts of sex and sexuality. Searching for information online on the topic of sex and sexuality can expose a child to misleading information. Being approachable allows the child to come to you and search for appropriate information together (McAllister, Astle & Vennum, 2021).
The approaches that I will have to think about differently include conversations about sex and sexuality with young or preadolescents who are teaching them about responsibility. I will start by discussing choices and consequences that do not include sex, then later begin conversations about sexuality. Having sex or not having it have consequences and a child is at risk of getting misinformation from the media or peer. Essentially everyone and the media talk about sex; that is why it is important to educate the children about the risks and promote responsibility to prevent exposure to misinformation (McAllister, Astle & Vennum, 2021). Approaching the child on this topic should be done carefully and conversationally to win their trust. I will provide guidance to discuss ethics, morals, and values instead of lecturing. Establishing a solid framework of values and information for the child will enable them to have adequate knowledge, preparation, and maturity when they become sexually active. Since most people, especially adolescents, feel embarrassed to discuss sex, the best way to approach them is by real with them. During my adolescent phase, I remember it was difficult for me to have conversations about sex and sexuality with my parents. However, it is crucial to talk about embarrassing things to learn accurate information that will allow us to make informed choices. I can start the discussion by using the cues around me, such as social media, television, current affairs, and song lyrics. I can talk about how sexuality is represented in the media and how it works in real life, which is the consequences that can occur due to sexual activity and the pleasures and positive outcomes of practicing responsible sexuality. For instance, if I see a character on a TV program who has made decisions about sex, then I will start my conversation from this point. I will not criticize harshly about what we are watching but rather have a discussion on the same.
References
Bjarnadottir, R. I., Bockting, W., & Dowding, D. W. (2017). Patient perspectives on answering questions about sexual orientation and gender identity: an integrative review. Journal of clinical nursing , 26 (13-14), 1814-1833.
Craig, S. L., Iacono, G., Paceley, M. S., Dentato, M. P., & Boyle, K. E. (2017). Intersecting sexual, gender, and professional identities among social work students: The importance of identity integration. Journal of Social Work Education , 53 (3), 466-479.
Mason, K., Cocker, C., & Hafford-Letchfield, T. (2020). Sexuality and religion: from the court of appeal to the social work classroom. Social Work Education , 1-13.
McAllister, P., Astle, S., & Vennum, A. (2021). Sex Feelings: A Mediated Group Path Analysis of the Association of Perceptions of Parent Communicated Sexual Values with Sexual Attitudes and Outcomes in Emerging Adulthood. The Journal of Sex Research , 1-10.
McGeorge, C. R., Walsdorf, A. A., Edwards, L. L., Benson, K. E., & Coburn, K. O. (2020). Sexual orientation and gender identity: Considerations for systemic therapists. The Handbook of Systemic Family Therapy , 1 , 251-271.
Ramdani, R., Rofiqah, T., Khairat, I., Saragi, M. P. D., & Saputra, R. (2020). The Role Of School Counselors To Helping Student in Puberty Through The Collaborative Paradigm. ENLIGHTEN: Jurnal Bimbingan Konseling Islam , 3 (1), 10-18.
Whiting, J. B., Leavitt, C. E., & Boden, J. S. (2020). Strengthening Emotional and Physical Intimacy: Creating a Mindful Marriage. In Mindfulness for Everyday Living (pp. 91-103). Springer, Cham.
