Yalom's Gift of Therapy is a unique narrative that presents highly important and complicated content. He presents the experiences he has had with his clients by including several examples, stories, references, and even quotations from several philosophers and therapists (Yalom, 2002). Through his work, Yalom engages in the generous sharing of the skilled therapeutic phrases that he utilizes with humble and honest clients. While he presents therapy as an increasingly easy task, his talent and intellect identify patterns and opportunities within his sessions with his clients. Yalom also displays a high level of empathy and compassion when handling his clients, acting as an excellent example for other professionals in the industry. Based on this reading, I understood that every encounter should be taken as an opportunity to learn and become more effective in our roles.
A therapist's role can be best identified as identifying and removing the obstacles that are in the way of the client's problem, as opposed to taking on the problem themselves. In a description of his encounters with clients, Yalom refers to his engagement with their problems using the term 'we' (Yalom, 2002, p. 2). Through his experiences, it is clear that Yalom provides extensive support to his clients in figuring out every obstacle in turn. Yalom utilizes a collaborative approach to therapy, where he works with his clients to identify their obstacles and the different ways through which they can be removed. This approach was highly enlightening to me as it provides Yalom with a subjective view of the lives of his client, enabling him to have a better understanding of their problems.
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Yalom presents a warning on the limitation of a diagnosis that distorts the entire process of identifying and removing obstacles. When dealing with a diagnosis, the perception of a therapist may be severely affected by stereotypes, and may further serve to support the stereotyping. This reference to restrictions by stereotypes made me reflect on how stigma can act as a challenge, increasing the need for collaborations that exist between therapists and patients. Hence, based on this, I identified that one of the primary themes that are presented by Yalom. Yalom emphasizes that during therapy, the therapists and clients should work together as equals (Yalom, 2002). This calls for an increased awareness of the interactions between therapists and clients, along with deconstructing the power structure that exists between these two parties. To demonstrate this point, Yalom points out that we are 'fellow-travelers’ in the human journey (Yalom, 2002, p. 8). By establishing equality between the therapist and the client, Yalom believes that the lack of distinctions will allow for better progression.
Another theme that Yalom further establishes is the importance of developing close relationships with clients. In his book, Yalom uses the stories of clients such as Hesse's Joseph and Dion. These stories are moving and highlight the wisdom was staying within the questions. I understood that the effective use of questions is important, not only to have a better understanding of the challenges that the client faces, but also to develop close relationships that will benefit their progress. Yalom identifies that one of the main challenges that clients face is their fear of intimacy. Clients carry the sense there are flaws within them that they cannot change, and these flaws (along with other interpersonal problems that they may have) are also present within the relationship that a therapist has with their client. Due to these challenges, therapists have to ensure that they establish a relationship of trust with their clients,
In the 14 th chapter emphasizes the inclusion of questions as a tool for developing intimate relationships. Yalom provides excellent questions while also highlighting the significance associated with tending to the silence. This was enlightening as I did not believe that silence could be identified as a tool for developing better relationships. According to Yalom, the use of a here and now approach is critical for dealing with issues (Yalom, 2002). This approach involves presenting issues at the current moment and even making references to past sessions. All the responses made by a therapist to their client are typically sensitive and empathetic and are founded on establishing the best interests of the client. An application of the here and now approach allows for the optimizing of this empathy to develop better relationships with those involved. To demonstrate this, Yalom presents instances of times when he compared notes of sessions with clients’ notes. These notes are highly enlightening as they remind me that, in some cases, the therapist has to take on the role of the teacher.
By acting as teachers, therapists gain the ability to present their clients with an entirely different experience. By finding solutions or answering these questions, clients will then be filled with a sense of accomplishment and an ability to trust themselves completely. I often believe that the act of therapy involves a considerable level of courage for clients, and they have to explore change and confront issues from their past that they are not aware of. This kind of relationship with the client makes them feel supported while also fostering a learning process for the therapist and the client as well. Hence, the client is able to gain confidence in the process and be more motivated to identifying and solving the obstacles they face.
Lastly, Yalom emphasizes empathy in a therapeutic relationship. To emphasize this, he uses the illustration of an individual looking through a window and states that therapists should assess and control their assumptions when directing feedbacks to their clients (Yalom, 2002). All interactions within therapy are an opportunity for development. Throughout his book, Yalom finds that therapeutic relationships are as important for therapists as they are for clients. Based on this belief, therapists are encouraged to make the clients aware that they matter to them. He also insists that disclosures by therapists facilitate disclosures by the client, making authenticity a critical factor.
Therefore, in therapeutic relationships, therapists should focus on having an understanding of the perspective that the client tries to present. The acknowledgment of my errors is important in encouraging clients while also being essential to identify my blind spots. Being empathetic promotes a form of genuine and authentic collaboration while still ensuring that the focus is firmly on the client. An inclusion of empathy in the therapeutic process makes it feel more genuine to the client. When dealing with uncomfortable disclosure for clients, Yalom suggests the use of 'parts.' I believe that this useful, as it enables the client to assess these parts on their while also identifying that they are just parts and not their entirety.
Yalom presents many great insights into the therapeutic relationship that exists between the therapists and the client. Yalom emphasizes the need for collaborative relationships in which both the therapist and client are viewed as equals, establishing a level of intimacy in these relationships, along with the application of empathy by the therapists. Through the inclusion of personal stories and thoughts from different philosophers and therapists, Yalom provides a convincing and detailed perspective of his approach to therapy.
Reference
Yalom, I. D. (2002). The Gift of Therapy : An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients. Harper Perennial.
