Social media has been known to play a big role in shaping relationships. When people state that they are using Facebook, they use it to keep in touch with people and to monitor the lives of their friends and families. The current generation has become masters of the technology and social media and technology use has grown to become an obsession. While social media was meant to be a good thing, a place where people keep in touch and to show friends and family where one has been when one was away. However, social media has taken a negative turn and is affecting relationships. Social media affects trust in romantic relations depending on its usage, wrong usage through lack of privacy, surveillance, social media addiction, misinterpretations, unrealistic expectations, and toxic behavior lead to mistrust while proper usage through effective communication strategies leads to enhancement of trust.
Definition of Social Media and Trust
Social media can be defined as the use of online platforms to keep in touch with one’s friends and families. There are several social media platforms that allow for different individuals to keep in touch. The different platforms which are popular include Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Pinterest. The young population engages with all these social media platforms through social media multitasking. This is because the young population seek arousal and find pleasure from several social media platforms (Change, 2017). All these social media platforms have different functionalities and operate differently. Twitter is mostly used to post short messages and images while Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Pinterest are predominantly used for sharing images and videos. All social media platforms affect the way information is shared and can affect the romantic relationships between partners.
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Trust in romantic relationships occurs when the two partners think of each other as being reliable, and that they have confidence and feel safe with them both emotionally and physically. Trust will occur both partners believe that they will not do anything that can be harmful to the other partner or to the success of the relationship. There are several factors that can destroy trust in a relationship such as cheating, lying, and mistreatment of the other partner. Social media has opened up the way partners connect. This has led to the emergence of several trust issues and insecurities among partners.
Lack of Privacy
One of the reasons why Social Media can destroy trust in romantic relationships is that it exposes too much of one’s personal and private life. Social media enables one to see the location of the girlfriend or boyfriend and the activities that they are undertaking. It is thus difficult for both of the partners to keep their private and personal life away from the other partner. In case one of the partners dislikes a certain place and the other posts that they were in the same location, it can lead to conflicts and mistrust.
Social media enables public sharing of content and posting where anyone that can access one’s profile can view the activity. This leads to a reduction in privacy among those that post anything or comment on different social media platforms. For instance, when a partner comments on one of the photos of a previous girlfriend or boyfriend and the other partner comments back a few times, mistrust can occur as it might appear that they are flirting. Additionally, the current partner would feel insecure. The lack of privacy in social media posts and comments means that one can easily look into the life of their partner without their consent. In case the other partner engages in communication or flirts with others, it can lead to mistrust and trouble.
Despite the privacy settings that are available on social media, people usually have little control over information that is available about themselves. Social media makes use of tagging and people might not be aware that they are in a photo that has been posted online without their permission. Comments can be made on the photo without the knowledge of the owner. The lack of control can lead to several moments where a partner is interpreted in the wrong context leading to misinterpretation. This can strain the relationship as it leads to higher levels of mistrust.
Surveillance
Social media has made it easy to monitor one’s partner leading to higher levels of mistrust among those in romantic relationships. People choose to monitor their partners in order to get a feeling of reassurance depending on the information that one finds. Social media surveillance has been surveyed on the impact that it has on relationships. A study by Hennessy et al. (2018) found that Facebook is associated with jealousy and monitoring of the profile of a partner online. The study further revealed that there has been an increased Twitter-related conflict which is usually associated with infidelity, breakup, and even divorce. The study showed that there is a relationship between Twitter fighting where individuals exhibit conflicts in their relationships. Negative interactions on Twitter is an avenue where people can show the underlying relationship and communication problems in their relationships. The study concluded that the use of Twitter and other social media platforms damages relationships.
Social Media monitoring can occur when someone checks on friends and posts in the relationship on a frequent basis. One could check on different factors which one could consider insecure about the relationship. Checking phone messages and social media texts is not a good thing and shows that there is a distrust in the relationship. Relationships are usually built on trust and such forms of surveillance usually lead to a negative outcome of the relationship. Such forms of behavior show that there are insecurities in the relationship and the relationship will not go for the long-term.
The use of social media has made it easy to get sneaky. A partner can easily engage in messaging and be involved in other relationships. In order for one to hide their tracks, they can choose to erase their history and messages. This shows that it is to engage in another relationship on social media and not be found. Social media has also made it possible to meet strangers online and for people to be bold knowing that they will never meet them in person. Such forms of behavior can friction and damage relationships especially if it becomes publicly known.
Social media surveillance of partners is common in relationships regardless of whether there is a level of mistrust in the relationship or not. Fox and Warber (2014) hypothesized that relationships that have a high degree of social media surveillance have high uncertainty and a fear of the future. However, the research concluded that several partners engage in social media surveillance regardless of whether there is uncertainty in the relationship or not. The study mentioned that being found monitoring and surveying one’s social media platform led to a high degree of mistrust in the relationship. This is because partners expect to be trusted without necessarily being monitored. Any form of monitoring through social media shows that one of the partners does not fully trust the other one.
Misinterpretation and Misunderstanding
One of the effects of social media is that it has led to a high degree of misinterpretation and misunderstanding which lowers trust in relationships. Social media can involve making use of small gestures that can have bigger meanings whether one intended it or not. Social media makes use of different gestures which take less than a second to click. For instance, liking a photo, accepting a friend request, or tweeting something funny can lead to a wide range of interpretations. Conclusions to the interpretations are usually made and finalized whether someone meant it that way or not. Additionally, the reactions of people such as a like, a comment on a post, or acceptation to an event invite can lead to a wide range of interpretations. Misinterpretations of the information posted can lead to misunderstanding and mistrust among partners.
Gestures in social media can also lead to the development of jealousy and mistrust. For instance, if one of the partners has hundreds of Twitter followers and most of them are members of the opposite sex, it is easy to get jealous if they like or comment on the tweet. Additionally, there is a huge weight placed on likes, retweets, and comments on twitter. For some individuals, a mere liking of a tweet can be interpreted as flirting. This can lead to an increase in the number of worrisome thoughts among partners and cause an unwarranted strain on the relationship.
Social Media Addiction
Social media can affect trust in relationships indirectly. Couples that are married and committed in a relationship would experience feelings of distress in case their significant other spends more time on their phone instead of spending quality time and enjoying their time together. Social media addiction has caused some individuals to be obsessed with instant gratification and the number of likes, followers, and comments that they have on their social media application. This creates a huge amount of tension and jealousy in the relationship since one of the partner would not feel appreciated enough.
Unrealistic Expectations
Social media has led to an ever-increasing pressure to post about the other romantic partner. Mistrust can occur in case one does not post their romantic partner in any of their social media platforms. Romantic partners that are avid social media users usually change their profile pictures and write on the Facebook profile of the significant other. This is to show the world that they are together and proud. However, in case this does not happen, one would feel that they are hiding something which could be the reason why they do not want to share their relationship status to the world. The other partner can feel that they are being played or cheated leading to a level of mistrust in the relationship.
Social media users usually post about the best things about their lives leading to unrealistic expectations among other users. For instance, one partner may feel less appreciated in case they are not treated luxuriously as shown in social media. One can feel that the relationship is not as romantic as the one they see online. While fights and conflicts can happen in relationships, social media users do not post about it as no one posts the negative aspects of their lives. One partner may start having doubts in the relationship in case they appear to fight and have more conflicts than what they see online.
Social media has led to the development of unrealistic expectations, especially because of social media celebrities. Erickson and Dal Cin (2018) examined the development of romantic beliefs and scripts among adolescents. The study established the current media platforms such as social media has led to an increase in romantic par-social attachments, negative evaluations of sexual experiences, and an increase in relationship self-esteem. All these negative aspects are as a result of social media figures portraying ideal forms of relationships that are impractical for the average social media user. A relationship where one of the partners engages in social media is likely to go through mistrust and conflicts.
Toxic Behaviors
Social media has made it easy for people to develop a wide range of toxic behaviors. Sexting is an example of toxic behavior that can cause mistrust and lead to the ultimate breakdown of a romantic relationship. According to a study by Kosenko (2017), social media has led to a significant increase in sexting which has potential links to risky sexual behavior. The study revealed that sexting is one of the indicators of sexual risk where one can have sexual partners with multiple partners without any protection. The study also linked sexting with other problematic behaviors in relationships such as intimate partner violence (Kosenko, 2017). All the negative factors associated with social media sexting can lead to mistrust in the relationship and its breakup.
Sharing of sexual-related content on the internet has increased mainly due to social media and the wide sharing option. Sharing of sensitive information is a toxic behavior and is a form of bullying that leads to the breakup of romantic relationships. Salter (2016) studied the effect that exposure to private sexual content on social media can have on users. The article rendered that any form of sharing of sexually-related images is a form of online abuse. Women especially suffer the abuse and it is a form of sexual harassment. Social media sites such as Facebook engages billions of users from all over the world. A partner that shares the videos would cause mistrust in the relationship.
Social media has made online dating easy which can increase cheating among social media users. A study by D’Angelo and Toma (2017) established that online dating has provided a large pool of potential partners for individuals that are single or even those in a relationship. One can easily find another partner online when they are in an ongoing relationship. This can lead to cheating and negative romantic outcomes for the two partners. If one of the partners is found cheating, it can lead to disastrous effects and a relationship breakup.
Social media has also made it possible for one to send several messages to partners. Hurtful messages that are intimidating can lead to mistrust and the failure of a relationship. McLaren, Solomon, and Priem (2012) investigated the effect that hurtful messages sent on social media has on partners. The study revealed that both males and females experience hurt and perceive hurtful messages as intentional. It also showed that hurtful messages can lead to more fights and conflicts in a relationship. The experiences of people vary based on the relationship characteristics. Hurtful messages sent through social media could cause a mistrust especially when there have been several fights and the relationship is in a shaky condition. Such mistrust usually leads to more fights, conflicts, and a breakup of the relationship.
How Social Media Can Be Used to Build Trust
The correct use of social media can lead to both partners reaping several benefits. McKenna (1999) analyzed the effect of social interaction on the internet and found that it can lead to bonding with others that share similar interests. It leads to an increased feeling of self-acceptance and lessens feelings of cultural and social isolation. The use of social media has also made people widen their social sphere and people that are lonely can live with a supporting network of family and friends. The supportive network gained by the two romantic partners in the relationship can serve to advance the relationship. The two partners can gain mentors and mutual friends through social media. Such correct use of social media leads to a better relationship and development of trust.
Social media has enabled users to share images of their locations, activity or through video calling which can increase trust. When one of the romantic partner is away, the use of a video call can enhance communication and offer proof of the actual location of the other partner. Partners that do not lie to each other will especially benefit from the video sharing and location sharing capabilities of social media. Additionally, the sharing of positive images in social media can be used to enhance trust. A study by Keib et al., (2018) showed that posts that had positive images led to higher clicks and likes. Partners that have a wonderful and positive experience in their relationship can use it to gain likes, clicks, and support from the general public which increases the level of trust in the relationship.
Proper communication among partners regarding the use of social media should be made in order to ensure that there are no conflicts that occur as a result of the use of social media. Both partners should engage in communication regarding how they want the other partner to handle the different social media platforms ranging from Twitter, Facebook to Instagram. One should let the other know what is acceptable for them and they should listen to the other partner’s thoughts on how they plan to use the networking sites and how to use it best.
There can be a significant amount of misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication that can take place with the use of social media. One should be honest in case they find something about the other partner online that could seem to as bothersome. For instance, in case one of the partners is still active on a dating app, the two partners can talk over the issue nonjudgmentally. Romantic partners should also be aware of the small gestures that could carry unintentional or bigger meanings. Small gestures can carry a huge range of different meanings and it is important to have a direct conversation with the other partner.
Partners should also beware of social media surveillance and monitoring. A relationship that is built on trust should not undergo frequent scrutiny or monitoring. Couples should be advised to trust the other partner and not to use social media for monitoring. Checking on a partner suggests an increased level of doubt and control in the relationship. It could come up as a result of the desire to be connected and aware of the life of the other partner. However, proper communication should be made regarding the need for surveillance and the degree of monitoring.
Conclusion
Social media use can affect the level of trust in relationships in the way the partners use it. Mistrust can occur from social media due to misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication. Social media surveillance and monitoring are one of the indicators that there is an absence of trust in the relationship. The wrong use of social media such as monitoring, surveillance, sexual harassment, and other toxic behaviors can lead to a decrease in the level of trust. Social media can also be used to build trust in romantic relationships. Social media was created to enhance relationships and its correct use can lead to better communication. However, partners should be aware of the effects that social media has on trust. Proper communication should be used to counteract against the negative effects of a decrease in trust.
References
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