Spiral dynamics is a blueprint in which people create more conceptual models worldwide in the process of viewing human development from different life situations. It shows the different perspectives that persons at different development levels hold and are joined to evolutionarily. Spiral dynamics, in particular, is paramount in ensuring that persons who hold different views to others are respected and understood. It is possible for persons with the same personality patterns to have different world views and at the same time persons may have the same worldviews but with different personalities. Spiral dynamics aid people to see the world in the way others see it and thus enables people to factor in distinct views and appreciate patterns (Bibace & Kharlamov, 2013) . Consequently, the world is a better place when people are able to work and live with persons that hold different world views/assumptions.
Application of Spiral Dynamics in a Past Romantic Relationship
Relationships topics are found to be very sensitive and the usage of spiral dynamics may help shed light to some of the complex situations or matters that arise. It is possible for people to keep on colliding with one another and there seems to be no reasonable basis for the root cause of a quarrel or argument. Therefore, from the excerpt, it is possible for me to identify with different value systems that I am gravitated towards. Moreover, it is not also difficult to point out the various value systems that my partner is also wired to.
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Value Systems that are associated with me include:
The purple Stage – This stage is “we” oriented and one tends to value one's tribe, community or family. It emanates from ensuring safety in numbers for security and survival as evident in the human evolution. Therefore, it is evident that in my past relationship, I was more likely to side with my family members in case of a conflict. This was to ensure that they were protected and secure. Therefore, my partner was second to them in case I had to choose sides. It is possible to remember occasions that though my family members were guilty of something, I tended to me more reluctant to accept their wrongdoings when my partner sought to point out their mistakes. For example, in a past family gathering that I had invited my partner, one of my brothers took a little too weird character. He seemed to disturb everyone and even at one point threatened to beat his wife in front of the people present. My partner condemned the act and even suggested that he ought to be looking for a professional help to stabilize his drinking condition. This agitated me and immediately jumped to my drunkard brother defense stating that there are many people like him and it is a common thing. I even took a swipe at my partner pointing out that she too had a drunkard uncle and she should first concentrate on taking them to look for the help.
It is further notable that most of my behaviors are the same as those of my family members. My family members tend to dress in an official and conservative manner. In most cases, I tended to be rigid in changing to casual wear even when my partner insisted that the occasion was an all casual affair. However, as time passed by, my partner accepted that it was my thing and not anything personal. To this effect, it is correct to say as a purple, I tend to imitate the behaviors of my family members. It is also true to say that the value system of purple when it comes to superstitious beliefs is likely to be strong and I am no exception to it. My partner was always wowed with our beliefs as a family/tribe. For example, there is this one belief that when one feels to scratch the palm of their hand, they are likely to receive unexpected money. My partner in most cases laughed off such notions but to me, I strongly believed it was bound to happen.
The Blue Stage – The value system of persons in the blue stage is emotional, willful, self-oriented and powerful. These attributes are all about order and stability. The higher authority makes a law that needs to be obeyed and as a blue stage person, I am for total obedience to the rules and regulations. It is reasonable to trace my past from the red stage but as per my past relationship with my former partner, I was definitely a blue stage person at the time. In a case of chaos in most situations in our relationship, I made sure that calm and order was restored.
Just like the other Blue persons, the central principle is to serve a higher purpose. Therefore, there is the need for one to sacrifice some of one's needs to gain better rewards others, which is one of my guiding ideologies. For example, being a Christian is evident of my peak Blue religion in where I expect a reward after death, eternal life. Although my former partner was a non-believer in most cases, there was no argument on this topic. However, one time my partner brought out the topic and argued that there was no need for one to be guided by someone or something never seen. In most cases, I expected my partner to obey all the set rules even those by the government. At times I rushed out at her in case my partner failed to observe a clear set rule. For example, at one time we were driving together in her car and the red light flashed since there was no car or pedestrians on the road she clearly ignored it. I strongly objected to such acts which clearly showed the lack of respect to our laws. She had her own opposition views but I stood for at all time follow the rules. I could say that I am a healthy Blue partner in a relationship. In my past relationship, I constantly brought sanity to our relationship in cases of arguments and ended up creating calm and security even in times of uncertainty. There is this believe that I hold, 'In the case of any problem, there is always a blueprint that was created earlier by persons in the same predicament for us follow.'
Value Systems associated with my former partner:
The purple stage – We were both purple stage persons. Even though she clearly was of the opinion that I tend to defend my family members, she too was very defensive when it came to hers. For example, during that time when I took a swipe at her pointing out that her uncle was also a drunkard, she clearly took it personally. She defends him violently even if I knew that she hated him. Other occasions that my partner exhibited purple value system were when it came to superstitious beliefs. She too had her own and at times I felt hers were more extreme as compared to mine. She had the belief that when it rains at night, it is the right time to make babies. This came from her grandmother and from one generation to another the belief was passed on.
The orange stage –My partner was “me” oriented. In fact one could easily tell that she was success-orientated, opportunistic, rational, challenging Blue’s myth-laden, innovative and dogmatic rules. My partner was more independent as well as had traces of entrepreneurial touch. In the case of an argument, she always wanted to win even though she knew that her argument views had no basis. In most cases, she was ready to go to lengthy and mind blowing discussion only to prove a point that she was right.
Although she greatly thrived in her business, one could not help to note the greed that accompanied her. She always wanted more. However, it is how she handled conflicts in our relationship that awed me. She saw me as weak when I expressed my emotions but on the other hand, she wanted her emotions to be valued and given a priority in everything that we did. As part of my Blue value system opposition strategy, my partner was always calling for me to keep changing my wardrobe. Sometimes one could not help to note that the wardrobe was full of elegant and smart clothes and yet due to her progressive nature, she yearned for the upcoming fashionable clothes. Her spirituality disposition was evident because she placed more value on material wealth than any religion - secular humanism. It is not a wonder that she at times attacked our naivety as Christians in believing in a higher authority.
Finally, spiral dynamics has greatly helped me to understand what happened to my past relationship. Even though we had different personalities in the form of Blue and Orange, there was always room for compromise. Understanding one another is essential and spiral dynamic provides the blueprint to do so (Bibace & Kharlamov, 2013) . We were both the purple kind that could have been easy to just let it go of the system values it holds. Therefore, it could be certainly wrong for us with the knowledge of spiral dynamic to fail to apply it positively in any relationship.
References
Bibace, R. & Kharlamov, N. (2013). The spiral: The concept of development after Werner and Kaplan. Culture & Psychology , 19 (4), 453-462. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/1354067x13500324
