Grief can holistically be described as intense sorrow, and sadness particularly brought about by the death of an individual, especially a loved one. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (2008) outlines the five variant but systematic stages of grief. To this end, the paper is aimed at discussing these stages and how cultural differences might affect them. In addition, a couple of distinct cultures will be presented and explained on the basis of how they separately handle grief and death.
According to Kübler-Ross (2008), the first stage of grief is denial which inhibits the grieving individual either consciously or unconsciously from accepting reality, facts or information. Ross further asserts that this stage is perfectly natural and acts as a defense mechanism. Ultimately, many grieving individuals become trapped in this stage for a long time unconsciously and often choose to ignore the feeling.
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The second stage of grief is anger. As an emotion, anger can manifest itself in various forms. The people going through this stage become upset with other people especially those close to them or simply become angry at themselves. Having knowledge about this emotion as a stage of grief can go a long way in helping the individual avoid judgmental attitude and giving him or her the space to go through the emotions.
Bargaining comes in as the third stage of grief and is most often supernatural than physical or emotional. Most people in different cultures bargain with their God that they believe in to reach a compromise. As contended by Ross (2008), in less traumatic situations like a relationship break-up, the grieving party might bargain on maintaining the friendship. However, in traumatic situations such as life and death, bargaining only provides a temporary solution.
The fourth stage of grief is depression. Here, the grieving individual begins to accept and understand the situation with a whole load of emotional attachment. It is common and natural for individuals to feel sad, regretful, uncertain, and afraid when depressed. However, it is critical to note that different people handle this stage differently depending on the gravity of the situation. Individuals in this stage are often viewed to be making progress; by reaching this stage, it means that the individuals are on the right track of accepting reality and letting go.
Acceptance comes last. In essence, the gravity of the situation determines difficulty or easiness of this stage. Individuals who are going through or entering this stage show emotional detachment and objectivity. According to Ross (2008), people who are in the process of dying might transition to this stage earlier whereas those they leave behind go through the stage differently in their own time and space after going through all the other stages.
Different cultures handle grief and death differently. In the case of Native Americans, they believe that there is some sort of reunion with nature that only occurs with death. This is regardless of the religion one professes (Grief Speaks, 2017). During the death service, the medicine man of the community moderates the occasion without any particular order since every individual is uniquely different. Additionally, the Native American culture believes that the bereaved individual’s spirit never dies and as such, the individual is buried with certain sentimental gifts as symbolism that the person lives on. The tribes which make up the culture at times call on their ancestors to come and aid the deceased in his or her transition. The undying spirit of the dead already transitioned is linked to a particular facet of nature such as an animal, a tree, water or a bird. These symbols may be part of the death ceremony. It is traditional for the deceased to be buried in their homeland to join the ancestors, and in some tribes under this culture, they smoke on the graves of the deceased.
The Islamic traditions regarding death vary differently, but the discussion will mainly focus on the Turkish traditions which are unique from other Arabic communities and cultures. In this culture, death is considered an act of God and questioning Him is viewed as a sin. It is believed that the whole life of an individual is pre-written and ordained by God including the timing and type of death. Therefore, in the case of death, individuals are encouraged to express their emotions openly because it cleanses the soul. In addition, for seven days, the family of the deceased is never left alone; friends and neighbors bring food since no cooking is allowed at the funeral home during this period. Religious prayers are conducted on the 40 th and 52 nd day after death. Notably, the body of the deceased is properly washed and bathed prior to the ceremony (Grief Speaks, 2017).
In cultures such as Islam, mourning and conducting prayers on the 40 th and 52 nd day may interfere with the grieving process in the sense that the bereaved will find it difficult to surpass the final stage of acceptance. According to Worden (2009), enforcing some traditions and practices such as religion on grieving individuals may result in more stress and anger thus affecting the grieving stages especially the anger stage. For instance, the Islam culture prevents people from questioning God on the death of the individual which in turn makes the bargaining stage extremely difficult. Contrastingly, cultures such as those of the Jews have a ceremony called Shiva through which the bereaved invite other family members and friends to celebrate and mourn the deceased through sharing memories (Patricelli, 2017). As such, this ritual is materialistic in helping the grieving individuals go through the depression period and successfully transition into acceptance. Finally, the Roman Catholic cultures believe in saying the sacraments and praying during funerals. To them, the prayers are fundamental in helping an individual go through the first stage of grief more so reciting the communion.
Ultimately, grief is a complicated process, and all its stages must be fully respected for a grieving individual to find his or her way out of the situation. It is also important to emphasize the critical role that family and friends play during such periods regardless of their culture. Most fundamentally, professional help such as that of a counselor should be sought when needed.
References
Grief Speaks. (2017). Culture and Grief: Understanding Cultural Issues in Death. Grief Speaks. Web. Retrieved from: http://www.griefspeaks.com/id90.html
Kübler-Ross, E. (2008). On Death and Dying. Routledge, ISBN-13 978-0415463997. Print.
Patricelli, K. (2017). Cultural and Religious-Spiritual Implications of Grief. AMHC. Web. Retrieved from: http://www.amhc.org/58-grief-bereavement-issues/article/8453-cultural-and-religious-spiritual-implications-of-grief
Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. Web. Retrieved from: http://www.springerpub.com/samples/01208_chapter.pdf
