What was the Situation or problem that you talked to your teen about? My teenage girl came to me complaining that her English teacher was giving her plenty of homework, which was the reason why she disliked her subject. She did not complete her assignments and performed poorly. This worried me a lot because we need her to get an excellent grade to take her to college.
How did you approach your teen? I used active communication to try to encourage her to see the need to complete her English homework.
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List examples of the five steps of Active Communication you were able to use:
Listen actively: I paid attention by looking at her directly and putting aside any distracting thoughts.
Listen for feelings: I observed her emotions towards both English teacher and subject based on her choice of words. I was astonished at how she despised her teacher. She used specific negative words like “mistreats” and “dislikes.”
Look for alternatives and evaluate consequences: I considered several options and their outcomes, including focusing on her mistakes, using a moralizing approach, being sarcastic, offering encouragement, and focusing on mistakes.
Offer encouragement: I decided that offering support was the best option. I told her “I am confident that you are smart in English and can top your class. I believe your teacher loves you and wants the best out of you.”
Follow-up: After encouraging her, I decided to monitor her progress for two months to see whether she completes her assignments or not.
How did your teen respond? My daughter reacted positively to my plea and promised to complete her assignments and change her attitude towards her English teacher. My follow-up revealed that she kept her promise.
What did you like about the process and how you handled it? I loved active listening because it assisted me to resolve our shared problem without restraining or blocking communication between us.
What will you do differently next time? Next time I will organize a family meeting to try to understand my daughter better. I will want her to feel that I am part of her life in a positive way.
