Rituals are a usual thread that is connected with humanity in every generation irrespective of race, culture, or religion, and they play a significant role in our secular lives. Through the rituals that people establish in their families, they become crucial in marking transitions or important events in one's life to express their happiness, sorrow, gratitude, or create and sustain their identity ( Galvin., Braithwaite, & Bylund, 2015 ). Though some people disregard rituals as old-fashioned, performing them is an integral part of human existence, which remains as long as it works for a person. Unlike habits, a ritual is mindful as it consists of a series of actions for a particular reason. They are things that only a family or couple or community does and defines who they are. Even a specific song during breakfast is a ritual. Humans are ritualistic beings as these rituals carry symbolic things that have a bigger perspective than them.
One crucial ritual that the Smith holds, James and Luciana Smith, hold, is their anniversary. It is not a wedding anniversary, but rather the day they met in the foster care that Luciana had organized a charity event. This is part of their celebration ritual, which they hold every twice a year. A Galvin (2015) records, celebration rituals represent the shared practices that couples agree upon in commemoration of special days or events in their lives. Two days on February 14 and 10 th October are characterized by activities that have been a routine since they started dating. The orphanage is vital to them since James was once a residence there before being adopted while that was the first place that Luciana had worked after graduating as a social worker. It is also their favorite place to spend their anniversary and valentine's day as it holds the significance of the beginning of their love life, which later on leads to marriage ( Galvin, 2015 ). Prior to the visiting days, the two have to call the orphanage and inquire about the most needed items and the number of children. This is because sometimes the number of children keeps fluctuating depending on the adoption rate. From the savings, they purchase all sorts of items and wrap gifts for the kids. Luciana then prepares cakes and cupcakes for the day. They then spend the day helping the kids clean up, cooking, and eating together. Later on, while James plays with the kids and takes the boys through a man-to-man session, Luciana spends time taking care of the infants. She will also host a girl-to-girl chat with the girls in the orphanage. The purpose of the one-hour talk is to help the children tackle the challenges they face daily and encourage them that no situation is permanent. This ritual has been critical to the couple as they do attain significant lessons on parenthood. It also aligns with their goals of being a blessing to others.
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Relationship or couple rituals are a fundamental part of every loving and caring relation. These rituals are essential to keep the bond healthy and vibrant. According to Galvin (2015), they are characterized by two traits; behaviors that are done routinely but with a specific purpose, and they help bring the partners closer. It is merely their happy place together. A routine, however, becomes a ritual when it has a meaning interconnected with the relationship. Every Wednesday evening, James and Luciana spend a couple of time together. Wednesdays are James off days while Luciana gets home at five pm, which creates ample time for them. The evening is their time to escape from their busy schedules while holding enjoyable activities together. Galvin (2015) records that couple of times is characterized by fun activities that bring the couple closer together. On this evening, they prepare dinner together, or order take out depending on the mood. Moreover, they do not check their phones or gadgets so as to have some alone and shared time (Galvin, 2015). This time is spent talking and sharing their fears, how their week has been, current goals they are working on, and evaluating their progress on common goals. They also play games which loosen their evening. The ritual has been beneficial in helping them communicate openly while maintaining focus on their plans.
Intimacy expressions are a fun and meaningful ritual between couples (Galvin, 2015). They are simple expressions of affection which mean a lot to a relationship and goes a long way to lighten up the romance and intimacy. Some people rarely get cards from their partners often unless it is a special occasion. Before leaving for work, Luciana leaves behind a note on the fridge. She reminds James to have his breakfast and what is prepared for the day. She also uses them to remind him of her love, and she is looking forward to dinner together. He has them collected in a box as they hold sentimental value to them and would sometimes read them when they are free. Such a habitual ritual keeps them connected throughout the day until they meet.
Having a bond that is secure and long-lasting is primarily concerned with helping couples know that they hold essential parts of each other's life. With meaningful and straightforward rituals, one feels more important to their partner than anyone else. Spending time and energy on a relationship is vital for an individual's words and actions to be in line; hence one feels loved.
Reference
Galvin, K. M., Braithwaite, D. O., & Bylund, C. L. (2015). Family communication: Cohesion and change. Routledge. https://libgen.lc/ads.php?md5=D757192526C1643F62E1BAA427DE8623
