Listening is a complex process that involves various stages of the message being communicated to be understood, and an appropriate response was given. The process comprises steps such as receiving of the message, recognizing the content of the message, remembering what was said, evaluating the message to determine the answer to give and the final stage is responding (Debra L. Worthington, 25 February 2011 ). In most conversations, barriers exist that retard or rather interferes with the proper transmission of the message resulting to poor understanding and interpretation and thus provision of inappropriate feedback. I happened to have a conversation with Joel who is one of my old friends and owns a restaurant in Chicago. The conversation was on time management, and Joel was borrowing advice from me on how he should manage his time as every day, he had so much to handle such that he didn't have enough time for his family. This paper aims to evaluate the various stages of listening and conversation barriers concerning the conversation I had with Joel on time management.
Receiving as the first stage of listening involves an intentional focus on hearing the content being communicated by the speaker (Debra L. Worthington, 25 February 2011). This process happens when we try to avoid all other activities in our surrounding and bringing our mind together to understand the message being communicated at the moment. The primary body organ being involved in this stage is the ear, and the perception that allows one avoid confusing activities in his/her surrounding to concentrate on the message and the ear captures the message (Debra L. Worthington, 25 February 2011). In our conversation with Joel, we were sited in a park, and I had to eliminate or instead assume all the noises and activities that were happening around and concentrated on the questions Joel was asking. Joel asked, "What should I do to ensure that all activities on my to-do list are done within the specified period, and none is left unattended?" I got the question right and was able to interpret it in the right manner. On understanding which is the second stage, we try to understand the implication of the message being communicated (Debra L. Worthington, 25 February 2011). From receiving the message, I was able to follow Joel's problem though his complaints and explanations. Understanding gave me the ability to provide the right answer to the question or rather the right solution to the problem.
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Joel shared his problems as I asked him questions to ensure that I got the message right and thus remember the right thing. Remembering is the third stage in the process of listening and goes hand in hand with listening attentively. It is said that a common reason not to remember a message is that it wasn't gotten right or it wasn't learned at all (Debra L. Worthington, 25 February 2011). Remembering helped me develop the right solution for Joel’s problem as I ensured that I got the problem right. After listening to Joel, I had to evaluate the value of the problem or whether it was making sense or not. Joel explained that he had more activities than the time available for him to work. When I suggested to him to delegate some of his duties to the employees, he said that they were as busy as they were supposed. I went further to explain that he works harder, but he complained that his time was entirely occupied. From his messages, I had to evaluate the condition that Joel was in and determine the validity of his explanations. From the evaluation stage, I understood that Joel’s argument was valid and had to give him a relevant response. Considering that his restaurant was big, all employees were as busy as he was, and his restaurant was earning him huge profits, I decided to respond by hiring an extra employee who would take up some of his work, and he would be free for his family and other activities outside the business.
The conversation often encounters barriers that interrupt the process of receiving the message, evaluating and remembering and thus result in the provision of a wrong response that wasn't expected or is not relevant. Some of the barriers in the process of listening are "distractions which are both physical and mental, biases and prejudices, lack of appropriate focus and premature judgment." Of all these listening barriers, the one which was most evident in our conversation with Joel on time management was physical distractions. The interview took place in a park where from all sides, vehicles were passing by and also other people were playing and having fun in our surrounding. Mostly, I got interrupted by a passing Range Rovers considering this is my dream car, and I could find myself turning and pointing at the cars as they disappeared between the buildings and other vehicles. Joel could sometimes get annoyed, but considering he needed advice, he accepted my requests of him repeating what he had said. However, we handled the problem, and the idea was applicable and sensible.
Barriers need to be avoided or eliminated as they limit our understanding, remembering and results to listeners providing inappropriate responses and thus the problem is not solved, or something important is missed just because of a simple mistake. Remembering as one of the most critical stages of listening can be enhanced by relating an explanation of something with another thing (Gluck, 2008). For example, one can say that "his name reminds me of my grandfather's nickname." Relating the two enhances understanding and remembering. Mental distractions can be avoided by making the conversation enjoyable and also the parties involved in the process can be engaged so that one is not interrupted by external or mental activities. Also, lack of focus can also be solved using the technique of making the conversation enjoyable and engaging the communicator and the listeners. The barriers of prejudices and biases can be eliminated by ensuring that communication is held by people who are fair and understanding.
Listening is possible with so much freedom and ease if no barriers are present. However, it is quite hard to hold a conversation without any obstacle emerging. An active conversation involves two or more people who are exchanging words orally or in written form. Considering this definition, it is essential to be attentive in the process and also the topic under discussion should be understandable to ensure proper flow of the conversation. During the conversation with Joel, the topic was easy to understand, and thus the process of listening was quickly integrated into the conversation.
References
Debra L. Worthington, M. E.-H. (25 February 2011 ). Listening: Processes, Functions, and Competency. Allyn & Bacon.
Gluck, M. A. (2008). Learning and memory: From brain to behavior. New York: Worth Publishers, pp. 172–173.
