I chose the topic of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) since I have always wanted to understand how this mental illness affects a person’s wellbeing since I have a relative who has this condition. Besides, I have watched the news and heard stories about people with this condition, but I never understood how this condition makes them emotionally unstable. Besides, I tend to confuse bipolar disorder with BPD. One of the articles will explain the experiences of people with BPD, the romantic partners who can fit into their lifestyles, and how to diagnose this condition. Meanwhile, the other article discusses how people with BPD are unable to control their emotions.
Summaries
Lancer, D. (2019, September 5). The drama of loving a Borderline. Psychology Today . https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201909/the-drama-loving-borderline
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In the article, “The drama of loving a Borderline,” Lancer discusses the challenges of being romantically involved with a person who has BPD. People with BPD tend to have a deluded worldview, and as a result, they develop antagonistic behavior (Lancer, 2019). They perceive everyone as their enemy, even the ones that are trying to offer them moral support. Thus, it requires patience, perseverance, and understanding to love such a person. At times, people with BPD can lash out at their loved ones, accusing them of abandoning them (Lancer, 2019). On other occasions, they can be calm and appreciative of their partners. There is no way of predicting how such a person can react. At one moment, they are happy, and suddenly without warning, they become angry, aggressive, and dismissive. People with this condition can be manipulative, and if the people around them have no self-awareness, then they can lose their self-esteem (Lancer, 2019). However, people with BPD should not be left alone since they can harm themselves. They tend to be needy and have clingy behavior in addition to having emotional outbursts such as rage. Thus, they desperately seek love and attention, and if a close family member fails to offer these kinds of emotional support, they develop imagined feelings of rejection and abandonment (Lancer, 2019). Undoubtedly, people with BPD value trust as the basis of the relationship since they believe in receiving genuine support. They also seek love and attention by all means, including abuse and manipulation. According to Lancer (2019), the perfect match for them are narcissists, and people who are in control of their emotions. The two groups are attracted to vulnerability and openness, evidenced in people with BPD. These individuals enjoy the drama associated with patients with BPD, making them a perfect fit for each other. Besides, people who are in control of their emotions can take care of individuals with BPD since they understand the sacrifice of loving such a person. They do not lose their self-esteem in the process; instead, they strive to improve the self-image and dependency of patients with BPD.
Whitbourne, S.K. (2020 July 21). How emotions get so out of control in Borderline Personality. Psychology Today . Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202007/how-emotions-get-so-out-control-in-borderline-personality
In “How emotions get so out of control in Borderline Personality,” Whitbourne describes how the past scientific research has failed to predict the emotional outbursts in people with BPD; there is no sure way of telling how such a patient will react in different environments. The article points out that recent studies have attempted to understand the behaviors of this population by linking three factors, namely emotional disregulation, self-harm, and rumination (Whitbourne, 2020). However, in the real world, these factors do not coincide. She stated that the rumination goes through a cycle that involves feedback from self-harm and emotional escalation (Whitbourne, 2020). Instead of focusing on the linear changes, the researchers should be studying the negative loop that results in signs and symptoms of BPD. Then, this article suggests how to detect BPD. The proposed method is the Bayesian model that aimed to understand the Emotional Cascade Model (ECM). Here, a group of self-injuring students was given smartphones that could give them feedback of their activities within the last 2 to 3 hours, they were then asked how the feedback affected their emotions, and how much time and energy they dedicated to each emotion (Whitbourne, 2020). The study was successful in detecting BPD and self-harming behaviors. It was a vital study since it provided findings that could enhance the support given to patients with BPD.
Reaction
Admittedly, both articles provide vital information that enhanced the understanding of BPD and its symptoms. A person reading them can understand how challenging it may be to take care of people with BPD. Instead of judging patients with BPD, the articles explain the signs and symptoms that people can examine to ascertain whether someone requires urgent attention. Both articles have invoked logos, pathos, and ethos. They have incorporated recent scientific findings to support their assertion about the experiences of patients of BPD. Hence, a reader can check the credibility of the sources by clicking on the links to the secondary sources. The findings presented in both articles can be applied in the care settings to improve the care offered to this patient population. Besides, the articles have also invoked the use of pathos to convince the audience to believe in their perspectives. In the first article, the author discussed how loving a person with BPD could result in mental exhaustion (Lancer, 2019). The majority of such relationships never last unless a partner understands that they have to be emotionally secure and available to their partner. In the second article, the author talks about how BPD can result in self-harming behaviors and suicide ideation (Whitbourne, 2020). Here, the author is attempting to convince the audience that BPD is a severe mental illness that needs the urgent attention of the scientific bodies to identify ways to take care of this patient population. Additionally, both articles appeal to ethos since both authors have experience in the fields of psychology, relationship, and marriage. Lancer, for instance, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and concludes from her experience and expertise. Hence, the information presented in both articles can be used to inform the caregiving practice.
Lessons
I have learned about the emotional disregulation in people with BPD. The articles made me understand that people with BPD are vulnerable, open, and needy, even though they present themselves as aggressive at times. I have noticed that this patient population needs love and constant reassurance; that is why they express their emotions in an extraordinary way when they develop an imagined feeling of abandonment. From the articles, I have understood that these patients do not perform emotional outbursts intentionally; it is due to imagined fear. I learned that they need partners who are supportive, helpful, and assertive. Such a companion needs to build their self-esteem consistently and, at the same time, be assertive to establish boundaries. If not, then they are likely to engage in self-harming behavior, such as cutting their wrists. Undoubtedly, they need not only to promise to be there but also to continually reassure that they love them. I believe that very few people have such a level of compassion, which explains why society tends to dismiss people with this condition. In some cases, patients with BPD are labeled attention seekers due to their constant demand for love and approval.
I was surprised to note there are conclusive methods and techniques to take care of patients with BPD in managing their symptoms and preventing self-harm. In the second article, the authors only provided an approach to detect the signs and symptoms of BPD. However, there was no precise method of taking care of these patients once the signs have been identified. In the first article, the author suggests that these people should be close to narcissists and individuals with high self-esteem (Lancer, 2019). This approach is faulty since there is no surety that both parties can end up in a romantic relationship or understand each other on a personal level. Despite the dangers associated with this condition, including suicide and self-mutilation, there are few guidelines on handling these patients. The case worsens since the patients do not trust the advice of the people around them.
References
Lancer, D. (2019, September 5). The drama of loving a Borderline. Psychology Today . https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201909/the-drama-loving-borderline
Whitbourne, S.K. (2020 July 21). How emotions get so out of control in Borderline Personality. Psychology Today . https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/202007/how-emotions-get-so-out-control-in-borderline-personality
