Humans are social being, with their level of speech well advanced to set them uniquely at the top of evolution. It not just communicating that sets them apart, but the quality of such of a day-to-day basis. Effective communication is that which conveys the intended effect, and which is received and interpreted by the receiver in full, without losing the original meaning in the manner of conveyance. However, good communication requires skill, and not all communication is effective. In this text, we shall examine the qualities of both effective and non-effective communication in making small talk, making an apology and receiving or giving a compliment.
Goof and Bad Small Talk
The clip ‘Small talk example’ ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn4IVXFcVek ) offers both good and bad small talk examples. Right from the start, we find amicable communication between the woman and the man starting with a handshake. However, 17 seconds into the clip, another man joins the conversation in a very loud exclamation greeting. It becomes weird when he actually retracts his hand when the first man offers his for a handshake. Instead, the second man places his on the hips, a very unfriendly gesture, and takes over the conversation transforming it into a monologue. He actually interrupts the conversation to shout greetings to another person, showing not only how self-centered he is, but also how self-important he considers himself. Such persons actually scare conversation from them. When he finally wants to leave, he shows his indifference with his comments and body language. He cannot even remember whether he introduced himself. When he leaves, the first two people proceed to bade each other farewell after a handshake.
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Example of Good Small Talk
Watch the clip SWAT ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hLcCnZzRtY) starting from 0 min 45 seconds into the clip, where two soldiers bust into a hair boutique and find two ladies dressing their hair. One soldier speaks up by saying, ‘HI Ladies,’ to which one of the lady starts talking to her lady companion saying ‘oooh! One for each of us,’ and just then another busts into the room to which the lady continues ‘oooooh! …And one for Denise.’ These off the line comments see the soldiers smiling already implying the ice breaking was already success, less than ten words into the conversation. Such is how great small talk should be, captivating and direct to the point, with a tip of humor in it to drive the conversation further until the two parties find a common ground for conversation.
Example of Non-Effective Small Talk
In contrast, refer to the clip Bad Small talk ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwJZ_sKOOg ). In the clip, the initiator feels the need to start the conversation, but has poor creativity. Instead of making an invitation to a conversation, he states a known fact that is actually rhetoric and common knowledge. The listener must have racked their brain off trying to look for best way to respond, finally opting to remain quiet. This creates tension in future communications between such individuals.
Making an Effective Apology
Making mistakes is what makes us human. Admitting that one is guilty is the worst feeling. Making apologies for wrongs committed to another person is not an easy thing, and whereas some apologetic words might just squeeze out of the mind on to the lips in no time, most of the time, there is fear that such words might actually do more harm than the intended good. Everyone is afraid that while trying to make amends, their ‘sorry’ is not coming out well with the other person.
While sometimes we feel guilty of our infractions and really want to make the apology work, other times we just want to make the wronged person feel better. In that case, we have to be very careful to play the part well, for doing it wrong will actually increase the count of our wrongs as faras the wronged person is concerned.An example of such a bad apology is made in the clip ‘Good apology, Bad apology’ ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0KZ08y-RNA ). 33 seconds into the clip, Allison is apologizing to Jill when she admits she committed the wrong. Four seconds later, she becomes overly defensive andshifts all the blame onto Jill claiming Jill’s actions led her to commit the wrong.56 seconds into the clip, Jill can no longer take it and she out rightly rejects the apology.
An Effective Apology Has the Following Qualities
One, it acknowledges responsibility by taking ownership of the mistake and the negative impact it had. Avoid phrases like ‘mistakes were made’ instead use ‘I made a mistake.’ Second, expresses what made matters go wrong. Third, it offers to rights the situation. Then, it declares the wrongdoer’s repentance, followed by the request for forgiveness.
Examples of Good and Bad Apologies
The clip Good apology, Bad apology,’ offers an insight into the elements of a good apology. Forwarding to 105 seconds into the clip, we find Allison actually employing all the qualities of a good apology. She begins by accepting the responsibility for the wrong, accepting that her actions hurt Jill, and promising to change while appreciating Jill’s courage to come forward Asher friend. As the clip ends, Jill accepts the apology and the friendship are maintained.
Giving and Receiving a Compliment
While giving compliments, the most important test is establishing the positives in people. Such compliments should be genuineto leavethe recipient feeling incredible. Compliments help in making new friends, maintaining relationships, starting conversations, building self-esteem among others. Compliments should not be biased to physical appearances only, but should consider all aspects of an individual such as creativity, passion, or ambience.
On the other hand, acknowledging a compliment may be difficult because we are feeling indebted to the person. Just being grateful is the most meaningful thing to say, as compared to start looking for something to complement in the other person. Despite the good intentions of complimenting, things might go awry wrong when the compliment is interpreted in the wrong way.
Examples of Good and Bad Compliments
An example that employs all the characteristics of a goodcompliment is the clip’ A great sample of compliment and flattering’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwp48nIs6lw .
On the contrary, the clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDPt7uIajUA and ‘https://youtu.be/kjjjv0X4_gQ, ‘are proof of the qualities of a bad compliment. Bad compliments are the overly familiar, extreme, possess ulterior motive, compliments that praise one’s current comparing with their past, overly personal, complimenting individual in a group not forgetting the flirty type.
Conclusion
Whether we are apologizing, complimenting, or engaging in small talk, it is imperative to use the correct language skills to convey our intentions. Careshould be taken to ensure that our intentions are not wrongly interpreted due our deficiencies in communications. By considering the various aspects of proper communication employed in this text, one will effectively be able to engage in small talk, offer an effective apology, and be able to offer and receive a compliment.
References
The worst compliments. Retrieved from < https://youtu.be/kjjjv0X4_gQ>
7 Greatest Conversation Starters That Actually Work. Retrieved from < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hLcCnZzRtY >
Bad Small Talk. Retrieved from < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwJZ_sKOOg >
Good Apology, Bad Apology. Retrieved from
< https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0KZ08y-RNA >
Michael, R. (2015). Bad Compliments. Retrieved from < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDPt7uIajUA >
Kuu, M. (2015). A great sample of compliment and flattering with courtesy. Retrieved from < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwp48nIs6lw >
Hahn, J. (2008). Small Talk example. Retrieved from < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn4IVXFcVek >
