Describe the relationship between Lady Crawley and Mr. Pamuk. Who else is involved?
There is an undeniable element of mutual attraction when Lady Crawley first meets Mr. Pamuk. As such, her worry about the delayed arrival of Mr. Pamuk and her vivid description of his handsome appearance depicts her sensual interest in him. Plausibly, her candidly infirm position on choosing between the possible husband options changes after she meets him. At one point, she shockingly asks him, “Heavens! Is this a proposal?” Over time, they spent most of the time building their romantic relationship, and Lady Mary disengaged from his other possible husbands. At the time, she was also involved with Matthew Crawley and Evelyn Napier.
How do they conduct their relationship?
While the two are drawn together into an intimate relationship, the relationship is characterized by ill motives and unethical practices. Arguably, Lord Mary treated Mr. Pamuk with sincerity of love and trust. She also displays a lot of respect for him when he addresses or responds to him. For instance, she honorably introduces him to her parents. Mr. Pamuk, on the other hand, takes advantage of her trust and love to achieve his interests. He severally lies and forcibly manipulates her to decide against her willful consent.
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Considering the period, is this relationship consistent with how most people would conduct a romantic relationship?
No, this relationship is inconsistent with how most people would conduct their affair. The relationship between Lord Mary and Mr. Pamuk is in several ways incoherent with accepted norms for romantic relationships. For instance, the two engage in sexual intimacy, kissing, and sexual intercourse, which is only permitted for married couples, yet they are not married. Accordingly, a child should only be conceived by a married couple.
Is their relationship out of the norm?
Yes. The relationship between Lord Mary and Mr. Pamuk violates the guiding principles for engaging in a romantic relationship. Perceivably, when he invades her bedroom and suggests having sexual intercourse with her, she reprimands the act due to the dire consequences she would face if her father knew about the conversation and the perverse act. Following the stipulated consequences that she mentions, their relationship was operating out of the accepted norm.
What evidence do you find of these characters struggling against the norms for romantic relationships?
Lord Mary and Mr. Pamuk have difficulty adhering to the accepted norms for a romantic relationship. Firstly, though he forcefully kisses her, she fails to report the incident, and as such, she would have also stopped his plans of raiding her bedroom that night. Secondly, Lord Mary, after a futile resistance to having sexual intercourse with him, shortly shows interest in the act. Further, she admits to Lady Grantham that she performed the act out of her consent and not forced by Mr. Pamuk.
How might this romantic relationship be conducted differently if the accepted norms were not a factor?
Firstly, if women could have the same opportunity as men to be heirs, Lord Mary would not have to be married to Matthew Crawley or Patrick to have a share of the inheritance. She could have gotten married to a husband that she loved, like Mr. Pamuk. Similarly, if the marriage were not regarded as a formal contract, she would be able to get married to a husband of her choosing and without much intervention of her parents' decision.
