6 Sep 2022

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The seven family life cycles and the importance of communication

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  Families are an important aspect of any society since they are considered as the building blocks of a community or a nation. Families play an essential role in socializing individuals so that they can be in a position to fit in society and advance the right values. It is important to note the meaning of family is dynamic due to shifting cultural trends that redefines what comprises a family. Traditionally a family was conceived as the union of a male and a female through marriage and which resulted in children. Although there are different forms of families today, all of them espouse companionship to facilitate each other satisfaction and accomplishments. All families tend to go through all or some of the seven stages of the family life cycle. Each of the seven stages is marked by different expectations, as well as communication needs and trends.

Focus on the Importance of and the Communication Needs of the Seven Family Life Cycles 

The family life cycle establishes that most conventional families tend to follow a particular pattern of evolution that involves seven stages. The first stage is the establishment of a family where a couple commits to a relationship by working out interaction patterns, expectations, and duties. The couple gets used to living together and sharing their life. Partners get accustomed to living together and accept being referred to as a husband and a wife (Yan and Zhou, 2016). This stage is very important since it determines if the family will progress to other stages depending on how well they relate. This stage allows for the building of advanced communication skills as the partners create ground rules relating to finances, family size, spirituality, and friendships.

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The second stage is the family enlargement where the couple transit to parents. This stage is associated with increased responsibilities, constraints, challenges, and joy in equal measure. The added responsibilities mean that the amount of time the couple spent together reduces as it is directed towards childcare. Dupont (2018) notes that this stage is very important since it redefines the couple’s individual development, relationship, and identity of the family. The husband and the wife are not only employees but also parents, role models, disciplinarians who get the test of their lifetime. During this stage, most of the communication revolves around the children in a bid to ensure that they are all right. At this point, the couple needs to communicate more effectively to ensure that their marriage remains stronger as it could be threatened by increased expectations and responsibilities.

The third stage of the family life cycle is developing a family where parents focus on improving their relationship with the children. This stage is important, as it is the first socialization that a child gets meaning that there is a need to make it the best experience. During this stage, the parents are responsible for sharing the children’s self-concepts and identity scripts through affirming their strengths. David-Barrett et al. (2016) note that the provision of a loving, safe, and organized environment allows for a child's healthy development. The communication at this stage ought to demonstrate a unity of purpose as the parents must compromise to set goals and model for their children. At the same time, the couple needs to invest more time communicating with one another and working on shared activities to enhance emotional closeness.

The fourth stage in the cycle is encouraging independence and autonomy in adolescent children so that they can develop their unique identities. This is a transitional stage, which is marked by both emotional and physical changes, as the children become young adults. This stage is considered difficult considering that there is a conflict of interest, as children make their choices that do not align with the parents' expectations (“Diversity in Family Life”, nd). More so, the children would become disinterested with their parents and siblings as they form attachments with friends and peers. This stage is quite important for the parents as they help their children to develop into healthy and responsible adults. During this stage, there are possibilities for heightened tensions, which may lead to lessened communication. There is a need for parents to communicate more with the children if they are to ensure that they create lasting friendships. The children need to feel that their parents still care for them and would want the best for them as opposed to controlling their lives.

The fifth stage in the cycle is the launching of the children when children leave home for college, stay on their own, or get married. This stage is significant as it tests if the parents have prepared their children to handle life challenges. The stage is also critical as it means that children will be bringing in new people to the family most notably their spouses. The communication between the children and the parent may become more frequent or infrequent depending on the interactions they have had (Dupont, 2018). Pluralistic families would translate to open communication where all the family members are free to express their feelings or thoughts. On the other hand, protective families would prefer if the children adhered to the parents’ beliefs and values to avoid conflicts. The parents should try to get more involved in the lives of their adult children to pave the way of enjoying the extended family once they become grandparents.

The sixth stage in the cycle is the post-launching where the parents become empty-nesters. There are many possibilities at this stage with the parents once again becoming a couple who no longer collaborate to take care of the children. This period could be marked by lessened communication especially if the couple failed to engage each other during child-rearing. The couple could be forced to rebuild their relationship so that they could enjoy companionship in the absence of the child (“Diversity in Family Life, nd). For other couples, this period allows for renewed love considering that they no longer have to worry about their children creeping upon them. At the same time, the couple has reduced income pressures meaning that they can afford to travel for holidays and getaways. During this stage, the communication between the parents and their children is likely to intensify. The parents are likely to be planning more family get together when they celebrate holidays and various milestones

The last stage in the cycle is retirement where the parents stop working something that can either have positive or negative outcomes. For some couples retirement translates to engaging in fun activities such as volunteering, taking u new hobbies, or traveling. The couples that put effort to create a loving relationship with each and the children will enjoy retirement. These couples tend to become more involved with their grandparents something that creates more connection (“Diversity in Family Life”, nd). Moreover, the parents provide moral support to their children to help them to navigate their relationships and families. On the other hand, a couple who failed to create meaningful relationships may feel discontented and in this way experience tense and difficult interactions. During this stage, the children need to keep in touch with their parents considering that this phase is also associated with deteriorating health. Some children will place their parents in retirement homes while others will live with their parents depending on their relationship and preferences.

Predicting Changes in Future Marriages 

Marriage is an important aspect of the family cycle since it is the main avenue for the creation and nurturing of families. The importance attached to marriage is losing its hold owing to changing cultural trends that redefine what constitutes a marriage. Traditionally marriage used to be a significant undertaking that followed specific cultural and religious provisions. Some societies valued marriage so much that they carefully selected spouses for their children on birth. Still, others valued purity above everything meaning that parents were expected to ensure that the children maintained their virginity. (Riany, Meredith and Cuskelly, 2017). These practices established that marriage was sacred and for this reason, there was no room for divorce. In the last few decades, marriage has lost its significance since it has been reduced to a contract, which ends as soon as it is signed. “Diversity in Family Life” (nd) establishes that unions tend to move to the deterioration stage when one or both the partners stop investing in the union. Marriage has also lost its true meaning and significance owing to the diversity in meaning about what constitutes a marriage.

Same-sex marriages, which have become permanent, feature in most developed countries marks the major shift in marriage. This kind of arrangement rules the likelihood of conception thus paving the way for adoption and shared parenting. This type of marriage interferes with the family life cycle since the ‘parents’ may not exhibit the connection that is associated with traditional marriages. In the next 15 years, marriage will change dramatically in that previous patterns will be replaced by emerging patterns. The most common form of marriage patterns would be cohabitation and single-parent families owing to lowered commitment levels. Kramer establishes that the US has the highest number of single-parent households that stand at 23%. The reason for this increase is attributed to declining marriage rates, increased divorce rates, and births outside of marriages. These statistics indicate that modern couples do not follow a similar cycle as those of 20 years ago. “Diversity in Family Life” (nd) establishes that marriage age is 27 for women and 29 for men unlike in the 1960s when women got married by 21. Modern couples have heightened educational and economic objectives and goals something that leads to delay in marriage.

References 

David-Barrett T, Kertesz, J., Rotkirch, A., Ghosh, A., Bhattacharya, K., Monsivais, D., & Kaski, K. (2016) Communication with family and friends across the life course. PLoS ONE, 11 (11), 12-25. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0165687

Diversity in Family Life. (nd)

Dupont, S. (2018). The family life cycle: An essential concept for looking at contemporary families. Family Therapy Journal, 39 (2), 169-181

Kramer, S. (2019, December 12). U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Centre. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/12/12/u-s-children-more-likely-than-children-in-other-countries-to-live-with-just-one-parent/

Riany, Y. E., Meredith, P., & Cuskelly, M. (2017) Understanding the influence of traditional cultural values on Indonesian parenting. Marriage & Family Review , 53 (3), 207-226. DOI: 10.1080/01494929.2016.1157561

Yan, S., & Zhou, Y. (2016). Research of w+ork-family balance based on the family life cycle. Open Journal of Social Sciences, 4 (11), 218-224. DOI: 10.4236/jss.2016.411018

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