First, there is the authoritarian parenting approach which appears to be very demanding and rigid. These type of guardians are very strict, and they expect their instructions to be followed without questioning. The parents also set very high expectations for their children but do not allow them to make their personal decisions. In case of failure to obey the set rules, the children are subjected to severe punishment as a method of teaching them a lesson (Pastorino & Doyle-Portillo, 2016). Children brought up under these instructions tend to be less independent, perform worse in their academics, have poor social skills and they always appear insecure.
In real-world occurrences, the parenting style involves a lot of control and few opportunities. Often when the children ask their parents why certain activities should be part of their life, the parental response is mainly "because I said so." An example is when a child steals a pen from school and when he gets home the parents get to know of the incident. The parents then punish him by not providing supper. In such an instance, the guardians do not take time to understand why the child was involved in such an incident.
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Secondly, there is permissive Parenting. Under this method, parents give their kids very few limits and do not apply the traditional parent-child upbringing technique. Contrary to the authoritarian guardians, these parents are not strict and do not enforce any methods of punishment. When there are rules to be followed, they tend to be simple and clear such that children can easily comply. The parents do not pose as authority figures.
In real life situations, children raised by permissive parents cannot follow the rules, they have poor self-control, they tend to encounter problems in social interactions and do not respect other people. The main reason for this adverse outcomes is that rules are inconsistently enforced. An example is when a parent promises to buy her child a bar of ice-cream if she cleans her room up. In such a scenario, it is the role of the child to keep her room neat, but the parent uses bribes to manipulate the kid.
Thirdly, there is the authoritative parenting style where children are provided with guidelines and boundaries, but they have some form of freedom to make their personal decisions. Additionally, these children have a chance to learn from their mistakes without being punished. A combination of expectations and comfort characterizes the style. Guardians present themselves as authority figures, but their postures are sometimes overcome by love and care (Pastorino & Doyle-Portillo, 2016). When setting new policies, the parents discuss the rules and take feedback from their children.
The children raised under this method are characterized by being more independent, happy, high self-esteem and competent social skills. According to Baumrind, authoritative parents act as role models by exhibiting the actions they expect their kids to acquire. An example is when a parent sets a curfew for older children that they should be in the house by seven in the evening. In case the children get late the parent will first understand their reason for lateness before deciding on whether to punish them or not. Authoritative parenting is rated as the most effective of all methods.
Baumrind's Parenting Styles and My Childhood
When reflecting on my personal life, I have been brought up under the combination of authoritative and authoritarian parenting approaches. My parents always created the desired sense of being in control where they expected us to follow the traditional roles and values without questioning. An example is the divisions of gender roles based on gender. Misbehavior was considered a threat to the already set rules hence there was a lot of judgment and evaluation. However, the disciplinary methods used were more supportive, rather than punitive introducing some aspect of authoritative parenting. As a result, I learned to adapt to my parent's expectations by accepting the prevailing norm and value system.
My Temperament and Baumrind's Parenting Styles
Keeping in mind that the authoritarian parenting style is about being strict and stern, I have no problem conforming to good behavior. At some point, it is right to say that when parents are demanding, they produce children who are better behaved. Through the authoritarian style, children can easily follow rules. Some people argue that such children may struggle with self-control but sometimes associating success and obedience with love is a critical requirement in child development (Pastorino & Doyle-Portillo, 2016). In many ways, having different approaches in the same family can be an advantage because there is an opportunity to embrace the strength from each side.
My Development and Baumrind's Parenting Styles
Even though each child will respond differently to a particular style, a combination of two methods seems to offer a balanced approach to child development. Through the authoritative approach, I learned the importance of consistency, structure, and boundaries. The technique brings about emotional and psychological development where parents treat children with respect and kindness. On the other side, the authoritarian method supplemented my cognitive behaviors where I learned about the idea of avoiding punishment by adopting good characters.
Conclusion
While all three styles of parenting have their place, the authoritative parenting style seems to be the best of all. However, parents can also use either of the two other methods and still borrow the main elements of the authoritative technique. The primary goal is to bring up healthy, disciplined and connected children.
Reference
Pastorino, E., & Doyle-Portillo, S. (2016). What is psychology? Boston, MA: Cengage.
