In our everyday life, we interact with a majority of people in the neighbourhood and places of work. Nevertheless, a majority of these people do not end up being close to us due to their characteristics. Essentially, when selecting a friend, we look at people who will help us become better people and those who will always be there for us. This is because there are many challenges which are accompanied by such relationship and one needs to be guaranteed that their friends will overcome the challenges. In selecting a friend, I always ensure that they possess characteristics appended below:
1. Caring
To begin with, caring is one of the characteristics I consider in an individual before terming them as my close friends. Notably, being caring entails showing supports always, that is, both good and bad times (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . This is essential for me because in life one is bound to face various challenges in life. As such, they require the support of a friend to get through such time. A caring friend will listen to my plight and understand what I go through. Instead of celebrating my downfall they can help me rise again and become a better person. Also, a caring friend will not allow me to indulge in ill behaviours to get past my bad times. Instead, they will encourage making better decisions which profit me by the end of the day.
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2. Loyalty
Loyalty can be understood as a strong feeling of allegiance that an individual has over the other (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . Loyal friends are always impartial, that is, they view other people lives with objectivity and are discriminatory. This trait is important to me because I can be sure that my friend loves me for who I am and not for what they want me to be. This is because they have an open mind that I can be different from them in terms of my opinions and behaviours but they keep a positive mind. Additionally, loyal friends are always honest. As such, they do not hide things which might embarrass me nor do they collaborate with other people in planning ham against me. Thus am assured that what they tell me s indeed true and aimed at my well-being.
3. Trustworthy
Trustworthy is a key virtue which entails one being reliable and dependable (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . In choosing close friends, this trait is crucial because a majority of the time they end up knowing one’s secrets and sensitive information. If such information reaches the public, this can result in an individual’s image being ruined and their self-esteem destroyed in the process. Consequently, this can have an adverse impact on a person and they may lack the zeal they once had to become a better person. With regards to this, I would need a friend whom I am assured that they will not reveal my secrets to people. Moreover, a trustworthy friend is one who always has your back. It is important to have friends who I can depend on at all time to be looking out for me. A trustworthy friend is also incorruptible thus I can be guaranteed that they will not be influenced by other people to abandon me.
4. Generous
Another character I would consider in a friend is their ability to be kind and generous, that is, sharing with those who do not have (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . The main reason why this characteristic is essential is that a generous friend will help me when hardly have anything. This can be in terms of food, clothes, money, opportunities, and knowledge. Notably, a friend who is generous is not envious and seeking to be at the top. Those friends who are envious will never help anyone so that they can always be leading. Such friendship is dangerous because such friends can compromise with other people to bring harm to a person. Also, they cannot share creative and ideas as they are afraid that sharing the knowledge will benefit the other person more than them. In my point of view, this would hinder personal growth and, therefore, would want to be surrounded by close friends.
5. Empathetic
Empathy is understood as the ability of an individual to understand how another person is feeling (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . Friends who are empathetic are able to understand what am going through and respond accordingly. Regardless of whether my friend has an answer to my problem or not, knowing that they understand what I feel is crucial. It will enable me to focus on overcoming my problems rather than being frustrated and angry at the cause of the problem. Empathetic friends are also nonjudgmental, a virtue which makes them have an open mind and thus develop an understanding of how I might be feeling. As such this makes it easy for the friendship to thrive as no one tries to live a lie to please the other.
6. Forgiving
In addition to the above, I would consider having a close friend who is forgiving. Perceptively, at some point friends find themselves disagreeing with many things due to individual differences. At some point what might begin as a small argument might graduate to a full disagreement, and people may act in a manner that hurts the other people. However, to keep the friendship alive, such individual is required to forgive each other and move on past the disagreements. I would need a friend who can forgive easily because keeping grudges will only destroy the friendship (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . Moreover, without real forgiveness, the friendship would only last for a short period. Furthermore, distrust would emerge, and this would make each party live in fear. This, therefore, makes forgiveness a critical character which I have to put into consideration while selecting a friend.
7. Respect
Respect is found in healthy behaviour and acts as one of the most building blocks of any relationship. In essence, friends who have respect for each other can have trust as well as support one another. In addition to this, they can be able to talk freely and honestly without being afraid of what the other person thinks. This is because they respect each other point of view and the differences they both possess. In most case, such friends make decisions together, and when need be, one party compromises with the understanding of the weaknesses in their point of view. Friends who respect each other can keep boundaries which in turn cause them to have fewer arguments. Thus it is a primary foundation in which all relationships are able to thrive (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) .
8. Altruistic
An altruistic individual is a person who puts the other people first, that is, they are selfless. In most such individuals are ready to sacrifice for the well-being of other people. An altruistic friend goes out of their way to ensure that the friendship if functional and long-lasting (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . This character becomes an essential element for driving friendship and other forms of relationships. As such, I would choose a person who is altruistic because I know they will direct their energy towards building our friendship. Also, such friends can be depended upon in both good and bad times to always be there to help.
9. Straightforward
A straightforward person is easy to understand because they give information without making any alterations (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . They are honest because they will not alter a statement to fit to your liking or to please you. Perceptively, I prefer having straightforward friends because they are honest and reliable and thus cannot misguide me. The information which they deliver can be qualified as honest as such making it easy to make decisions. For example, if I am failing in a particular subject due to fewer practises, they can point that fact out which would help me to change my studying habits.
10. Have a sense of humour
Lastly, in choosing a friend, I would also look for one who has some sense of humour in life (Johnson & Zanzig, 2000) . This is a crucial element because when I am troubled, they can know of ways which will cheer me up. Additionally, the sense o humour adds some spice to the friendship and breaks monotony and boredom. By large, this acts as a motivation to spend more quality time together laughing and making jokes. This helps one to forget their problems for a moment and add colour to life.
Conclusion
In summary, friends are important people in every relationship as they are the people whom we spend quality time with. There are specific characteristics which make some individuals to be considered in the category of close friends and others not to. For me to choose a person to become my close friend I consider characters such as; loyalty, caring, trustworthy, generous, forgiving, respectful, altruistic, straightforwardness and having a sense of humour. All these characteristics act as important blocks of building and cementing the friendship. They foster trust, honesty and respect between me and my friends and this helps the friendship to last for a longer period.
Reference
Johnson, J., & Zanzig, T. (2000). Becoming friends . Winona, MN: Saint Mary's Press.
