Communicate with transparency. Have no hidden agenda.
One of the key aspects of communication is transparency. In order to effectively communicate with other people, you have to ensure that you are communicating with transparency. Transparency in communication makes people trust you and thus it helps in building up relationships. People who communicate with transparency are liked more since individuals like people who are open and sincere in their communication. Transparency entails sharing information with other people. Sharing information with others also entails being transparent with people with regards to where they stand. On the other hand, hidden agendas eliminate people’s trust in you and destroy any hope of transparency. This is because hidden agendas reveal people’s motives whereby they make people perceive you as devious. As a result, hidden agendas cause people to lose trust in you and thus makes them start questioning your actions, words, and motives. Hidden agendas, therefore, endanger people’s relationship.
Behave consistently. Emotional ups and downs cause people to doubt you.
Consistency in how we behave and associate with others is extremely important in communication and how we associate with others. This is because people like associating with individuals who portray consistent behavior and people whose situation does not change their behavior. We have all experienced people who are joyful and fun to be around with on certain days but on other days you tend to think it is their evil twin. People with consistent behavior at the same around other people no matter the situation or stress they are going through. However, people who portray inconsistency in behavior in that they are always emotionally up or down often repel other people. It is, therefore, crucial to establish an equilibrium whereby you always behave in a particular manner day in day out and your behavior is not governed by your emotions. Moreover, inconsistency in behavior causes people to doubt your actions, motive, and words.
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Show sincere interest in others' aspirations and goals. Ask questions and listen.
One of the main ways of establishing successful relationships both at home and in the workplace is through expressing honest interest in other people’s goals and aspirations. Showing sincere interest in a person’s goals and aspirations gives the other person a sense of value, well being and importance. As a result, people are more attracted to the individuals that make them feel good. Showing genuine interest in other people’s goals and aspirations can be achieved through sincerely asking those questions about their family, career, hobbies, stories and other things that interest these individuals. Other than asking questions, it is also important to keenly listen to what they are saying in order to better understand the other person. On the other hand, showing sincere interest in other people’s interests also facilitates the other person’s to honestly show interest in your own interest and goals. However, it is crucial to note that people can always tell if one's interests are sincere or not and thus one should never fake wanting to know the other person interest or goals.
Take responsibility. No excuses, no justifications. If you mess up, fess up.
Taking responsibilities of your failures is also an important aspect in forming successful relationships. Taking responsibilities for your actions requires action and it denotes your level of maturity. Once you have wronged, you should acknowledge your mistakes without justification or excuses. Once you have acknowledged your mistake, the second step is basically apologizing and then asking for forgiveness. Through undertaking these activities, you affirm the relationship since the other person trusts you better. On the other hand, admitting your failure facilitates our physical and emotional vitality since one does not have to bear the guilt of unconfessed mistakes. Taking responsibilities of our mistakes also helps us to learn from them and ensure that we do not repeat the same mistakes. Finally, taking responsibility and admitting one's failures provides a platform for moving on unlike in cases where an individual fails to take responsibility and is holding on to his mistakes.
5. Communicate respectfully at all times. No yelling, no gossiping, no belittling comments, no embarrassing others.
In order to communicate respectfully, you need to understand and familiarize yourself with the difference between inappropriate and appropriate communication. Each and every one of us has our personal boundaries that we expect people to respect. In order to be foster successful relationships, you need to communicate respectfully at all times through understanding people’s boundaries. This can be achieved by tailoring your communication in order to really comprehend how the other person likes to be approached. You should also watch your cues in order to ensure that you are communicating efficiently. Watching your cues ensures that you are minding the other person and enables you to communicate respectfully. To ensure that you always communicate respectfully, you should always value dissenting opinions and contribute proportionally even when you disagree with someone. Another way of ensuring that you are always communicating respectfully is through talking about the things you know are true.
6. Clarify, emotionally and mentally, how you expect to be treated. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
A good leader should treat others the same way he or she wants to be treated. For this to happen, you should clarify to other people how you would like them to treat you. On the other hand, you should encourage people to clarify how they would want to be treated. This is because each and every one of us is different with regards to our personal boundaries and our mental and emotional aspect. It is therefore important to show people how you would want to be treated and this is observed by the way we treat ourselves. The way you handle yourself mentally and emotionally upright in front of other people should be a clear indication of how you would also like them to treat you. It is therefore important to treat yourself better as far as the mental and emotional characteristics are concerned. Moreover, you should be open on how you would like people to treat you and this will, in turn, help them to be open on how they would also like to be treated.
7. Under-promise and over-deliver. Do what you say you will do, and keep your word; if the unexpected arises, renegotiate.
It is always important to keep your word and fulfill all that you say you will do. Keeping your word is crucial in that it builds trust among the people around you. This is because it is very difficult for someone to trust you again once you have broken their trust. By doing what you had promised to do, people regard you as a joker and a non-serious person. In order to achieve this, it is always better to make promises that you are very sure you are going to keep. It is better to under promise and over-deliver than to over-promise and under-deliver. However, if anything arises and you are not able to do what you had planned to do, do not shy away from renegotiating the terms. This denotes that you are a responsible person and it plays a huge role in the way people associate with you.
8. Tell the truth, quickly, with compassion. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
It is always important to be truthful in all that you say no matter the consequences. People are more drawn to individuals that speak the truth since they view them as responsible and courageous people who are not afraid to say it as it is. In order to be a truthful leader, you should always be quick to speak the truth no matter how painful or difficult the truth is since it is better to talk the truth than being caught in a lie. Despite the fact that lying seems to be the easy way out in difficult situations, it is always advisable to say the truth. This is because people generally respect and trust truth tellers than liars. Moreover, gaining the trust of other people once you have been caught in a lie can be an uphill process and in many instances, the other person cannot fully trust. Therefore, always be courageous enough to always speak the truth.
9. Focus on intentionally seeing the best in the other person. People want to be around others who make them feel good about themselves.
To relate efficiently with others, you should always focus on seeing the best values of another person as opposed to seeing his negative attributes. You should always be quick to compliment and slow to criticize other people. This is because people are more attracted to individuals who make them feel valued and good and this can be achieved through complimenting other people. Even though other people have numerous flaws, it is always advisable to intentionally focus on their best qualities. The act of focusing on seeing the best of other people is infectious in that other people will start seeing your best qualities and overlook your weaknesses. However, the opposite is also true. When you focus more on seeing the worst in other people, other people will also start seeing your weaknesses.
10. Ask for and receive feedback. Ask sincerely and openly, and respond respectfully.
Asking and receiving feedback is a crucial aspect of communication. This is because other people’s feedback helps you in understanding more on your strengths and weakness. Feedback helps people to familiarize themselves with their weaknesses or weak point and this helps them in understanding where and what they need to change in order to communicate effectively. In asking for feedback, you should request humbly, sincerely and openly if you want to get sincere feedback from other people. It is also important to accept other people’s feedback respectfully despite whether the feedback is good or bad. This is because negative feedbacks act as an eye-opener to your various flaws and areas in which you need to improve on as far as sharpening your communication skills is concerned. More importantly, you should respectfully respond respectfully more importantly in cases where you are given negative feedback.
