Children from divorced families have showcased external challenges such as delinquency, conduct disorders and impulsive behavior as compared those from households with both parents (Nilgun, 2018). After divorce, children are most likely to experience more conflict and cause trouble in school, with peers and the entire society. Divorce not only affects the child but also damages society; it consumes human and social capital. Research has proved that divorce diminishes the child’s future competence in all important institutions including school, religion, family, the marketplace and the government. The reversal of the social and cultural status of divorce would more likely be identified as a Cultural Revolution (Smith-Greenaway and Clark, 2017). Divorce further weakens the family bond between parents and their children. It often leads to caustic conflict management measures, the early loss of children to societal vices like substance abuse, diminished sense of masculinity, as well as reduced social competence. It is therefore prudent to analyze the effects of divorce on children narrowing down to how they show resiliency when dealing with the adverse effects of separation.
Children who go through divorce often demonstrate quick recovery as a sign of resilience from the pain and threats they face when parents separate. Resilience among children is often recognized as a personal trait and not a normal occurence (Atiles et al., 2017). Most children, when facing divorce, would want to cope with the stress in secrecy, not showing signs or symptoms hence mental health problems in the long-run. Many factors contribute to the child's resilience when it comes to divorce, including social support from their environment or networks. It should be noted that parents contribute more to the child's development serving as the person's first social learning point and this often happens in their family setting. Children experience a difficult time coping with new family ties or leaving without either parents or both when bondage had already developed after divorce. It is out of developed resiliency among the children that enable them to endure changes and bounce back (Nilgun, 2018). However, if the change induced to the child is excessive, they often bounce back with violence creating a lot of conflict with siblings, the remaining parent or among the peers.
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Although children resilience could be an expected experience after every divorce, how they adjust to the new lifestyle matters and nothing else. According to the modern theories associated to children development, human personality is viewed as a self-righting mechanism designated to allow the child to make ongoing adaptations with the new circumstances and environment (Pomrenke, 2017). Resilience has always been equated to optimism in both adults and children. Therefore, resilience can be nurtured in children by creating a sense of confidence and competence in their capacity to make their new environment better. Individuals suffering from stress are more likely to acquire physical ailments, and a large number of children from divorced families display depressive symptoms hence vulnerable to anything, including self-harm. Resilience involves individuals' behavior, actions and thoughts to learn and develop new survival tactics; it may not necessarily be inherent (Pomrenke, 2017). According to Atiles et al. (2017), a child brought up by a single parent tends to lack stimulation, a strong bond of attachment and encouragement; he or she always feels betrayed by either of the parents feeling not loved enough. It is out of the developed feelings that children develop resiliency by coping and learning how to isolate themselves whenever they have to deal with other people.
The separation between parents may result in an unfavorable environment among family member especially parents preempting the child's hope of a better tomorrow at their tender age. When compared to peers from families whose parents are still married, these children are highly likely to fall victim of maladaptive behaviors such as truancy or substance abuse due to the adverse emotional distress that accompanies divorce especially during its initial stages (Smith-Greenaway and Clark, 2017). Children brought up in divorced homes are highly likely to opt for divorce in their future relationships. As much as children may want to assume that all is well once their parents are divorced, the separation causes an adverse psychological impediment to the child. The child would repeatedly think about the distress experienced by either of the parents before the separation leading to depression; some of the children vow to avenge by causing conflict with whatever they come across. Most children after the divorce would pretend to be who they are not just to execute their plans and release the pain caused by parents’ separation (Atiles et al., 2017). Nonetheless, not all children who have gone through divorce will exhibit such characteristics, a good percentage will eventually learn how to stay and corporate with both parents and in many instances, older siblings will do all they can to shelter their younger ones from the probable psychological distress.
Divorce denotes one of the most stressful experiences in a child life and that of the parent. Major stressors in divorce include the period of separation, loss of family bondage, parental conflict, financial challenges and adoption of a new relationship. Divorced families are portrayed as unfit for bringing up children as only married and leaving together partners can provide the nurturing and warm environment essential for the child to thrive. Family scholars argue that divorce causes a family breakdown destroying the traditional ties among the members contributing to an array of problems including social, economic and political issues. However, many children are gradually learning how to cope with these experiences as they identify innovative and healthy ways to survive such encounters. Such may include a focus on their studies, talents and providing emotional protection for their siblings.
References
Atiles, J. T., Oliver, M. I., & Brosi, M. (2017). Preservice Teachers’ Understanding of Children of Divorced Families and Relations to Teacher Efficacy: Educational Research Quarterly , 40 (3), 25–49.
Nilgun, O. (2018). Effects of Divorce on Children: Psikiyatride Guncel Yaklasimlar , (2), 140.
Pomrenke, M. (2017). Using Grounded Theory to Understand Resiliency in Pre-Teen Children of High-Conflict Families. Qualitative Report , 12 (3), 356–374.
Smith-Greenaway, E., & Clark, S. (2017). Variation in the link between parental divorce and children’s health disadvantage in low and high divorce settings: SSM - Population Health , 3 , 473–486. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmph.2017.04.004