Social interactions are imperative to development, although in the day and age of social media those interactions have lost their value and are almost nonexistent. The connection between attraction and relationships are parallel to one another and are the initial prediction of human affinity. Relationships, as a result of an appeal, begin with the propinquity effect in that people are drawn to things that are significant to them. The people who, by chance, are the ones they see and interact with the most often are the most likely to become friends and lovers. The sense of familiarity is what is safe and appealing, but is this enough in the maintenance of relationships? Attractions on different levels are formed upon initial interaction with someone or something and allows human beings to connect on all levels, thus making the beginning of the building of the foundation of relationships.
The root of attraction is linked to the attachments human beings create with their parents, siblings, and friends, and could influence their behaviors in the kind of relationships they later form in life (Finkel & Eastwick, 2015) . For example, a child who has witnessed or experienced abuse is likely to adopt and transfer that trait in relationships they have. Such a child, therefore, will be prone to leading toxic and unhealthy relationships with their peers, spouses or children, heavily characterized by violence and abuse. Additionally, in the era of social media, technological tactics have changed the way individuals establish relationships and has affected the way they determine attraction to others, and vice versa. In this era, the young generation hardly goes through the full cycle of establishing friends but instead relies on the virtual internet connection to meet and interact with others. Furthermore, the perception others develop towards one directly reflect how individuals determine their relationships (Finkel, Simpson & Eastwick, 2017) . Likewise, the same goes for past relationships which contribute to the connection of attraction and relationships.
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Development of companionship, passion, and love can be characterized by the experience of physiological arousal, and are expected to be reciprocated. If these feelings are not reciprocated, it could create some severe decrease of internal effects, not to mention negatively affect the relationships a person forms with others. Moreover, termination of attraction and relationship towards something can positively or negatively result in the way they see both attraction and relationships. Early development of healthy relationships set the tone for the future relationships (Finkel & Eastwick, 2015) . Attraction expands the will to foster relationships and the power to alter any already established schemas towards the association of attraction and relationships. Similarly, attraction and relationships present a further examination of what one is attracted to, the framework of those relationships, the involvement social media plays in their lives, the types of attractions they use, and the influences of attraction to relationships.
What Influences Interpersonal Attraction?
Interpersonal attraction is defined as the positive feelings an individual has about another person. The drawing towards another takes quite a number of forms, including liking, loving, admiration, friendship, and lust. Many factors can be attributed to this, such as similarity, reciprocity, proximity and physical attractiveness (Berscheid & Regan, 2016) . Romantic attractions are primarily determined by physical attractiveness. People focus on the outward beauty of a person, especially in the early stages of dating. Men are more likely to be drawn by the beauty and the physical attractiveness of a partner than women are. Moreover, a person's perception of their own physical attractiveness plays a critical role in establishing romantic love. The mantra, "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" is primarily driven from the Matching Hypothesis which proposes that individuals tend to pick partners they consider equal in the level of attractiveness to themselves (Berscheid & Regan, 2016) . Proximity as an influencing factor looks at how physical location determines friendship. According to this theory, individuals tend to become friends with the people they are geographically close to, as the Mere Exposure Effect states. In this regard, people show the tendency to like novel stimuli more when they encounter them repeatedly. On the other hand, with the advancement of technology, this effect has taken on a new dimension. People connect virtually over the internet in which case some social media apps are designed in such a way that they show the physical proximity of online friends. Such internet approach prompts the physical meetings between these two people. With such encounters being witnessed repeatedly, the Mere Exposure Effect comes into play (Berscheid & Regan, 2016) . This is majorly the case with online dating sites which in most cases prompt real dates between the two prospects.
Another factor that determines interpersonal attraction is similarity. Human beings tend to pick the partners who are in so many ways similar to them. This could be in terms of characteristics such as age, race, social class, religion, education status, personality, and attitude. This leads to the establishment of a common ground between these partners. Such similarities are not only seen between romantic lovers, but also between friends. Similarity causes attraction because by nature human beings love connecting with people who understand them. Having a common ground creates room for partners to understand each other and help each other out. For example, in a school setting, bright students would tend to befriend other high performing students for reasons such as consultations. In this case, it becomes easy for friends to help each other out with assignments and class work because they speak the same language. In the same manner, people tend to be drawn to other individuals of their age bracket because they believe such people would understand them better, especially when it comes to challenges that are typical of the particular age bracket they are in. Reciprocity is another factor that determines attractiveness (Berscheid & Regan, 2016) . Naturally, people want to be acquainted, or closely affiliated to other people who not only understand them but also reciprocate their liking and feelings. This is majorly the case in romantic love where partners appreciate being loved in return and being affirmed in the relationship. Some of the reasons that lead to a relationship failure or divorce cases are irreconcilable differences and emotional neglect. Emotional neglect is when one partner does not appreciate the emotions the other partner has invested in the union, or relationship, and the said partner then feels unloved, unappreciated and unwanted. The same case goes for friendships in which case the attraction is glued together by love and mutual understanding. This explains why an individual cannot be friends with a known enemy.
Attributes of A Healthy Relationship
As human beings go through the various stages of life, their attractions and interactions evolve dynamically that in the end leads to relationships. Relationships can be defined loosely as advanced forms of appeals in which the partners are closer to each other (Smith, 2015). Relationships take on many forms, such as family relations, friendships, and romantic love. For a relationship to be considered healthy, it must show some qualities and attributes. Healthy relationships are fun and are heavily characterized by respect which provides experiences that mold an individual's self-esteem. Developing these relationships take effort, time, and care to develop. Human beings need to learn the art of cultivating relationships from early in life, or during their teenage years because they can grow into exceptional interactions and form an essential part of their lives later on. Of the lessons to be considered from the interactions people have with each other; healthy romantic relationships need to start with the basic components that friendships are built upon. This includes honesty, effective communication, and respect (Smith, 2015). Romantic relationships are nonetheless a little bit dynamic in the sense that they include actions of physical affection like hugging, kissing, or having sexual relations. It is essential to understand, however, that unless an intimate bond is created first between the partners in a romantic relationship, engaging in the dynamics of such a unique relationship would be futile to hold the relationship together. The reason why the society has been experiencing a rising number of breakups and divorces in the recent past is that partners do not take time to learn each other. Most youngsters skip the friendship part which leads to shaky unions. This can be attributed mainly to the emphasis the society has placed on sex, and the online dating and hook up sites are in no way different on their focus on sex as the main factor for a romantic relationship.
Healthy relationships are characterized by respect, open communication, trust, and sharing. Such relationships should be based on the idea that both individuals are equal, and hold equal rights of ownership of each other. One of the factors that greatly hinder romantic relations is dominance (Smith, 2015). In this case, a partner, mostly the male partner, feels superior to his partner and establishes a form of tyranny in which the female partner is supposed to submit to him. This leads to issues such as abuse, which can take on many forms, ranging from verbal abuse to physical violence. It is vital that the partners understand they are equals, and that neither of them holds more power in the relationship than the other. With this kind of an approach, decision making in the relationship should be equally shared and both partners should learn to speak and listen to each other's opinions more freely and with respect. Additionally, such healthy relationships should embrace the freedom for the partners to be themselves. In as much as partners need to learn how to adjust their personalities so that they are on the same page, such an approach should not be taken in such a manner that forces either partner to change their characters entirely, but instead, they should retain some freedom to be who they are (Smith, 2015). It is vital to maintaining the individual identity of each partner, regardless of the type of relationship being pursued. In other words, a healthy relationship is one that embraces the diversity of the personalities of each partner and does not seek to change it in any way.
Maintaining personal identities in relationships also implies nurturing the other relationship one has already established with other people, such as family and friends (Smith, 2015). This more particularly applies to romantic relationships. Partners should be free to connect with their friends, colleagues, and family without feeling limited or held back by their spouses or the person they are dating. It is natural for couples who are at the initial stages of dating to want to spend more time with each other, putting on hold to some extent the other relationship they already have. This is normal and healthy as it allows the lovebirds enough room to learn and get to know each other. However, overdoing so could be toxic in that it could come across as being bugging and irritatingly close to each other. It is essential to spend some time apart, and with friends and family so that the partners each get an ample time to evaluate the other partner to determine whether or not they would like to pursue a serious dating relationship with them. Additionally, maintaining relationships with friends and family during such a crucial stage in courtship provides more perspective, and could be a valuable source of support when a couple experiences difficulties (Smith, 2015). Typically, when a couple is new in a relationship, they would tend to overlook some factors which could negatively affect their relationship going forward in this case. An outsider's perspective is critical to highlighting these factors at the early stages. Similarly, they offer support and counseling and play a significant part in guiding the couple towards leading a healthy union. This is mainly the case with family ties in which parents and older siblings advise the young ones on the ups and downs of a romantic relationship, and how they could make it work.
Features of An Unhealthy Relationship
As interactions develop, disputes and disagreements are sure to arise, which are not necessarily a negative thing if the partners learn how to deal with the situation appropriately (Sprecher, Wenzel & Harvey, 2018) . How individuals deal with such cases, is mostly based on the said situation, as well as on the previously learned behaviors. This is where the lessons individuals learn during their growth and development stages comes in handy. Individuals who were well trained and guided will look for amicable solutions, while those with no such experiences would in most cases adopt a more negative approach, such as violence, which profoundly characterizes the relationship as being unhealthy. Majorly a relationship is considered unhealthy based on how individuals react in a given situational conflict. These are broadly categorized into four spheres; emotional, physical, sexual, and financial (Sprecher, Wenzel & Harvey, 2018) . Emotionally speaking, an unhealthy relationship is seen in the way partners make degrading comments about the other partner. This could be verbal abuse in which the partners insult each other, or call each other demeaning names. Ignoring and isolating the other partner is also a form of emotional abuse in which partners feel unwanted and unappreciated. The relationship could even be controlling and manipulative through threats. Of physical characteristics, an unhealthy relationship has tendencies of physical abuse such as slapping, pushing or punching the other partner. Unwanted touching, forced or coerced sex is a form of sexual abuse in an unhealthy relationship whereby a partner is forced to have sex unwillingly (Sprecher, Wenzel & Harvey, 2018) . Other partners also showcase financial manipulation in the sense that they take and withhold money, and control the spending of the family, mostly seen in family settings in which one spouse, typically the husband manages the family resources and does not give his wife room to make financial decisions.
Benefits of A Healthy Relationship
It is quite correct to point out that human psychological wellbeing and physical health heavily depend on their ability to have intimate relationships with others (Sherif, 2015). This process begins with the family, gradually moves to the building of friendships, and ultimately lead to dating relationships. In this scenario, by undergoing the various stages of relationship formation continuously, it allows people to experience life holistically by undergoing the various stages of growth and development. In the same manner, going through this metamorphotic life cycle enables individuals to develop their interpersonal skills and provides them with experiences that play a significant role in fine-tuning the human feelings and emotions (Sherif, 2015). The first form of human relationship is with one's guardians or caregivers. Through the care individuals receive from the caregivers, a sense of security, belonging and trust are impacted, which then forms a strong bond between them and the caregivers. This is why psychologists argue that there is no stronger bond than the one between an individual and their mother, or caregiver. This is because of the feeding and nurturing process that takes place in that early stage of life. Children who benefit from such affectionate, healthy and nurturing interactions are more likely to seek contact or proximity with the persons who give them care. As these children grow into adulthood, they are more likely to feel secure that they will not be neglected or abandoned, hence, learn to trust other people easily. Contrasted with shaky or violent care and handling children go through, such persons will in most cases turn out to be aggressive, cold and distant because they believe their only defense mechanism is violence (Sherif, 2015). In other words, the kind of relationships that children are put through in the initial stages of their lives plays a critical role in informing the type of personality and relationships they will lead as adults.
As mentioned above, children who fail to experience a secure and loving relationship in the early stages of development may become withdrawn, resistant and ambivalent towards other people, mainly the caregivers and their parents (Sherif, 2015). Once they go into adolescence, these people may have a hard time developing intimate relationships with their partners and friends, due to the lack of trust. One way to creating a healthy relationship is to affect a child positively at the emotional level. Showing acts of compassion and care, particularly at the time of despair builds a healthy relationship and brings positive emotions which in the long run enrich the human life and the lives of the individuals around a person. Other ways of achieving this are learning to have faith and trust in others and oneself, as well as learning how to open up and share emotions with other people intimately (Sherif, 2015). Most importantly, it is vital to remember that all human beings go through difficult times at one point or another. Problems in most cases arise in relationships due to the fact the partners have varying expectations or become preoccupied with other issues. Having difficulties expressing thoughts, fears and feelings is also a limiting factor to healthy relationships. To effectively deal with these, and to turn the situation around to reflect a positive relationship, it is essential that individuals take time learning about their partners, what they like or do not like. This should be done with so much patience and love so that the partner who is undergoing the difficulties will feel more relaxed and freer to share their fears, or issues that are affecting them.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, it is vital for individuals to undergo the various stages of growth and development to be able to develop their attraction and relationships. Healthy relationships are imperative for the holistic growth of an individual into their adult life as it lays the foundation upon which their personalities and interactions with other members of the society will be based. Some of the common issues that hinder the healthy development of attraction and relationships, as addressed in the various subtopics of this article include physical proximity. The other logical problems that affect the relationships human beings establish with each other include family issues like acceptance. Acceptance and affirmation by family members play a leading role in modeling the self-esteem and character an individual will have in forming future relationships. Children from emotionally unstable homes will have a hard time opening up to friends and spouses later in life. It is crucial therefore that parents and caregivers learn the value of establishing an emotional connection with children from a young age to shape their passionate stand. This being the case, spouses should learn how to handle their differences around the kids and should try as much as possible not to address their differences openly in front of the children. This is because such acts depict emotional instability to the children, who later on in their lives will be afraid of opening up to their peers or partners, lest they suffer the same pain of their parents. It is also essential to build on the various forms of relationships on the same level. Friendship or family ties should not be abandoned at the expense of pursuing romantic relationships. A healthy relationship is one that allows for the freedom and the retaining of personal identity. Partners should never force each other to change in any way to fit into the relationship.
References
Berscheid, E. S., & Regan, P. C. (2016). The psychology of interpersonal relationships . Psychology Press.
Finkel, E. J., & Eastwick, P. E. (2015). Interpersonal attraction: In search of a theoretical Rosetta stone. Handbook of personality and social psychology: Interpersonal relations and group processes. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association .
Finkel, E. J., Simpson, J. A., & Eastwick, P. W. (2017). The psychology of close relationships: Fourteen core principles. Annual Review of Psychology , 68 , 383-411.
Sherif, M. (2015). Group conflict and co-operation: Their social psychology . Psychology Press.
Smith, R. D. L. R. (2015). Relationship 101 . Lulu. com.
Sprecher, S., Wenzel, A., & Harvey, J. (Eds.). (2018). Handbook of relationship initiation . Psychology Press.
