Separation and divorce are common experiences in society today and present stressors within the family structure. During the last three decades, demographic and social changes are becoming more diverse and complex in their structure, affecting the family. Today, single parenthood is on the rise with divorce rates remaining relatively constant. In the United States, two parent households are on the decline with remarriage and cohabitation changing the nature of family dynamics. Families are straying away from the traditional perspective and embracing an open system. The effects of divorce are subject to extensive research with literature supporting behavioral and emotional problems for children during development. Children from divorced and single parent households experience various developmental challenges compared to those from intact families.
Incidence of Divorce and Single Parent Families
The increase in divorce rates is one of the demographic trends in the United States. Various studies rely on recent social and demographic aspects to predict children’s future living arrangements. Of importance to note is that there is a distinction between family composition and the associated effects on children. Single parent families consist of parents who have not yet married with others being because of divorce while others following the death of a spouse. From a research perspective, children from divorce and those from single parent households adjust normally, with the challenges in adjustment attributable to other mitigating factors. Several factors account for the long-term increase in divorce rates. As Cherlin (2017) points out, various societal changes from the increase in women in the workforce and their independence accounts for their ability to raise families without the support of a man. Marital instability is an aspect that is acceptable in society with a decreased stigma associated with divorce. Today, where the marriage is unsuccessful, individuals are keener on relying on divorce, as a solution. A growing argument posited for the increase in divorce rates owes to the delayed entry into marriage. More individuals are opting for marriage at a later stage that affects the traditional conception of families. This means that formation of families is at a later stage in life; however, minimal studies exist to explain the influence of marital age on the likelihood of divorce and the associated effects on children.
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Effects of Divorce
The outcome of divorce on children is an area of significant research. Family breakdown as Mooney, Oliver, and Smith (2009) explain is not a single event, but a process characterized by complex interaction of risk and protective factors. Some of the factors include the quality of parenting, financial hardship, parent-child relationships and repeated changes in living arrangements. Parental conflict as a factor, not only influences single parent households, but also intact families. High levels of conflict increase the stress levels children go through. The stressors equally affect parents, limiting their ability to be effective parents. With the quality of parenting relying on the parents’ mental state, the experience of divorce triggers stressors that impair parents. Financial hardship is also an element that cuts across both intact and non-intact families with research revealing children from lower socioeconomic backgrounds displaying problem behavior. This follows that financial hardship has ties to negative effects such as poor nutrition and housing that impair children’s development. Research identifies the effect of divorce on children in various domains, with the distinction being the adjustment process of each child (Adler, 2014). Research supports the effects of divorce and their interaction with other factors in differentiating children’s adjustment to the event, (Burke, McIntosh, and Gridey, 2009). Some of the effects of divorce involve children’s adjustment and underlying psychological and social impact.
Children’s Adjustment
Divorce as an event carries a burden on children owing to the changes they go through from schools, neighborhoods, and movement from one household to another. The negative effects of divorce depend on the indicators of adjustment in question, (Anderson, 2014). Internalizing problems, exhibition of problem behavior, and difficulty in academic performance serve as evidence of poor adjustment in divorce literature (Lansford, 2009). The influence of divorce on the children’s adjustment draws influence from various factors. They include the child’s age at the time of divorce, the length of time since the divorce, and prevailing demographic characteristics. Research appreciates the difficulty children experience after divorce and identifies emotional adjustment as a key to managing the negative aspects of divorce. The fact that a child experiences the divorce of his or her parents does not limit the child developing adjustment problems, (Ryan and Markowitz, 2013). One of the tools that help children go through the event is resilience. According to Burke, McIntosh, and Gridey (2009), resilience is a normative outcome for children of divorced parents. Resilience encompasses the ability to endure stressors without developing adjustment problems. After divorce, children report experiencing a fear of abandonment, grief at separation, and increased stress.
Adjustment is dependent on parental behavior with parents who exhibit conflict in their interactions, predisposing children to difficulty in adjustment. Research highlights conflict control as crucial in managing children’s adjustment to divorce. Divorced parents who successfully manage conflicts are not any different to married parents in their interaction with their children. “Although there are differences between children from intact and non-intact families on a range of child outcomes, these differences are relatively small. For example, 13-17 per cent of children in stepfamilies show social and emotional problems compared to 10 per cent of children in intact families” (Mooney et al.2009). Kleinsorg and Covitz (2012) explain the bias surrounding conflict in it being a solution to ending parenting conflict. Through conflict reduction, children have minimal exposure to conflict and do not experience the negative aspects associated with high conflict.
A mediating link between divorce and adjustment is the parent’s well-being. Marital conflict and divorce predisposes parents to stress with divorce being similar to a grieving process. In such a state, children may lack a sense of support, necessary to help them through the process. With mothers being the primary caregivers, their predisposition to depression and other mental illnesses, equally predisposes the children to such conditions. As Kleinsorg and Covitz (2012), externalizing behavior serve as a coping mechanism for children to make sense of the event. With the parents experiencing emotional strain following the divorce, they are unable to help their children navigate through the difficult situation.
Financial hardship is an element that equally impairs children’s adjustments following the acquisition of a lone parent status. Majority of single parents experience financial hardship, with such parents likely to alternate between employment and dependence on welfare benefits. The low income affects children in that they have to adjust to a financial state that is different from when they were in an intact family. For example, this means less toys or a change in schools to be able to support the previous lifestyle. With divorce, there is a strain of resources and parents have to identify ways of supporting their separate lives while still taking care of the family. Financial challenges increase parents’ predisposition to stress, (Mooney, Oliver, and Smith, 2009). With financial stress being a byproduct of divorce, the associated negative outcomes such decline in educational attainment have ties to the financial stress as opposed to the divorce itself. A child may have insufficient resources for school when only one parent is financing them than when both parents are involved.
The breakdown of the family either through divorce of the loss of a parent, follows with re-partnering as Mooney, Oliver, and Smith (2009) explain. Step families are progressively on the rise and with divorce, children may express fear of failure of the new marriage following past experience. Adjusting to another family setup is a struggle for children of divorced parents.
Adjustment to the new living conditions is an area of research and is the focus of divorce literature. Individual characteristics in part influence children’s resilience and adjustment to divorce. Some of the characteristic include temperament and differences in cognitive abilities. For example, children with an easy temperament, successfully manage the effects associated with divorce. Environmental changes are likely to influence children’s adjustment. Parents are likely to move to a new home or alternate in homes to provide the children with a sense of balance. Even under the best of circumstances where parents communicate the divorce and associated changes, children need time to adapt. The adaptation becomes challenging when the child does not have a support system. Social support plays a role, in that when children receive support from both parents, they have a positive evaluation of the situation as opposed to when they are processing the event on their own. While this is an advantage, there is an impending concern that divorced parents may not provide the needed support. This follows the accompanying stress they experience when dealing with the divorce and the culmination of changes they have to make. In terms of support, children seek support from those outside the immediate family such as grandparents and friends who provide positive support to the children. Children who develop close relationships to their grandparents- especially maternal since the mothers mostly get custody- possibly have fewer adjustment problems. By having someone to share the experience with, children are less likely to experience the shame and guilt that comes with the divorce.
During the divorce process, it is important to help children adjust to the process. Children require a level of awareness when their parents are going through separation. Unfortunately, in most instances they are often unaware of what is happening. Prior to divorce, children can sense underlying tensions and are aware of impending conflicts. In facilitating their adjustment, it is important that they are aware of the systematic process involved in ensuring a seamless transition. This gives children the time to process the situation and an opportunity for children to be accepting of the situation. One of the ways of facilitating this is through the establishment of a system of communications. During the process, it is helpful if parents are respectful to one another.
Behavioral Problems
Children from divorced households are more likely to exhibit problem behavior compared to children from intact families. They have ties to being aggressive, being disobedient in school, and lacking in self-regulation, (Adler, 2014). Adolescents in particular take advantage of this time and engage in problem behavior to cope with the loss. With adolescents showing more independence, they are likely to engage in substance abuse and use the divorce as a mechanism to get away with problem behavior. Various studies have developed links of antisocial behavior to children coming from broken homes, (Fagan and Churchill, 2012). In this sense, broken homes encompass children from single parent households and divorced parents. Divorce has ties to children internalizing problems. They may associate the divorce as their fault and struggle with the guilt throughout their development. Children and adolescents from divorced families experience higher levels of depression compared to intact families. Divorce is similar to a grieving process, where children have to grieve the end of a parental relationship and movement of a parent from the home. Socially, children may experience difficulty disclosing the divorce of their parents with close friends owing to the self-pity attached to the situation. In this sense, children are likely to isolate themselves from their peers in an attempt to avoid concerns surrounding the divorce. Co-morbid with depression is anxiety disorders in children struggling to come to terms with their parents’ failing marriage.
Developmental Stages
The developmental stage of a child plays an integral role in influencing the perception of divorce. This follows that children in different developmental stages go through different stages of cognitive and social development. From a developmental perspective, young children have limited cognitive abilities. Older children and adolescents are more capable of understanding the reasons behind marital separation as opposed to younger children. Adolescents however are likely to develop skepticism towards future relationships. In romantic relationships, they may opt for an insecure form of attachment; however, it is not a guarantee. As a stage characterized by identity and autonomy, adolescents understand parental separation better that younger children. During infancy, parenting is an anchor for infants as they rely on their parents to get a sense of the world, (Emery, 2011). Given that their cognitive development is still ongoing, infants should spend frequent time with their parents to develop a strong sense of attachment. Despite infants being unaware of the concept of divorce, they understand the changes in the environment. During divorce, infants show signs of distress evidenced through repeated crying and irritability, (Adler, 2014). In some severe cases, children may respond by failing to meet developmental milestones and may go through growth faltering. Early childhood attachment is reflective of future relationships. According to Burke, McIntosh, and Gridey (2009), young children are more dependent and in need of continuous, reliable care from a primary caregiver. Young children have a limited ability to understand the reasons behind divorce.
The stage of development greatly influenced by the effects of divorce is middle childhood. As a developmental stage, it boasts in being the elementary school years having children from the ages of six to twelve. Physical and cognitive growth contributes significantly to future outcomes. Children form extensive social networks within the school environment with success in school becoming a significant factor in adjustment. Educational achievement is a critical aspect of middle childhood with divorce affecting educational outcomes. During this stage, children understand the concept and permanency of divorce. They experience the fear of losing the friendships they have established so far and go wary of the prospect of starting over. However, they are likely to take blame for the parents’ separation as they fantasize of the possibility of their parents’ reunion. An element consistent with the stage is academic performance where children spend a significant amount of time in school and embrace schoolwork as a form of identity achievement.
Children of divorced parents deal with a significant number of changes, (Adler 2014). There is need to establish a form of consistency in parenting techniques and fostering a harmonious environment that discourages conflict. Co-parenting is an upcoming strategy of managing the effects of divorce. With this approach, parents have to work at maintaining a unified approach. For children during this period, they struggle with a sense of responsibility and experience grief following the departing of a parent. Separation leads to a loss in socioeconomic resources, which limits the availability to provide specialized education for children.
An element that coincides with middle childhood is the gendered effects of divorce. In middle childhood, boys of elementary school age, have a tendency to withdraw from their peers and display aggression. An explanation that accounts for boys’ difficulty owes to the changes in living arrangements. Custodial mothers as Ermann and Harkomen (2017) explains, provide girls with same sex role models and therefore experience less difficulty in adjustment compared to boys. Evidence indicates that boys without male adult role models demonstrate behavior that is more feminine (Aydon, E. 2015). This is expressed in the words “ an example of how gender stereotypes are cultivated in society, and how hegemonic masculinity is highly valued, is in New Zealand where some schools are pressured to employ male teachers. The rationale for this is to preserve boys’ masculinity through the appointment of ‘real men’ teachers who exhibit characteristics consistent with hegemonic masculinity” . However, research on boys’ adjustment does not take into consideration the quality of father-child contact or the availability of alternative role models.
Research Gaps
With extensive literature revealing the effects of divorce from a behavioral, social, and psychological perspective, there is still more to explore from a developmental perspective. With the growing nature of research focusing on the negative aspects of divorce, there is need to identify some of the positive aspects of divorce. With the changing nature of families through the growth of blended families and a growing number of individuals raising families on their own, there is a pressing concern to reevaluate the study of family dynamics. Research posits that children from divorced and single parent households have trouble in future relationships, more cross sectional studies need to be in place to establish if this is the case.
Recommendations
Owing to the negative effects brings about, it is essential to have in place programs that train parents on getting along with each other after divorce. There is also need to ensure children have an understanding of the implications of divorce on the structure of the family. From a family systems perspective, the structure of the family has to adjust to function normally. There is need to carry out research and identify how divorce interferes with the family structure and the impending changes that come with it.
Conclusion
Divorce presents various effects to both the children and parents who go through. It affects the family at an individual and societal level. Individually, parents experience financial difficulty owing to the strain of resources that come with divorce. Socially, friends and social networks change. While divorce alters the family structure, it does not necessarily mean that single parent households and divorced parents are that different from intact families. Various factors influence children’s adjustment to divorce such as parenting conflict, change in parenting styles, and individual characteristics of children. When children adjust to the process of divorce, they develop a form of resilience that makes them better able to cope with the negative consequences of divorce. With middle childhood being a period where children are more likely to suffer from the effects of divorce, it is important to have various structures in mind to support them. One of them is providing children with social support and communicating in such a way those children can understand. By developing a form of acceptance within the children, they are confident of their ability to develop as children from intact families.
References
Adler, Nancy. (2014). Examining Divorce from a Developmental Perspective: The Legacy of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from http://www.familykind.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Examining-Divorce-from-a-Developmental-Perspective.pdf
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Aydon, E. (2015). It’s a Man’s World: The Effect of Traditional Masculinity on Gender Equality. Retrieved from http://www.e-ir.info/2015/03/29/its-a-mans-world-the-effect-of-traditional-masculinity-on-gender-equality/
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