The parent-child relationship forms the primary learning stages in human development. According to Smetana (2017), parenting experiences shaped by such interactions form the basis of cognitive and physical growth with every behavior and actions of a child drawn from the contribution of the parent in their earlier life stages. Parent involvement in nurturing their children, therefore, does not end at birth and feeding. Parents have a permanent role in their children’s future, as they are essential in shaping their attitudes and life perspectives. It is on the family basis where values and principles taught upon children (Smetana, 2017). Adulthood is a culmination of parenting experiences and exposure that such parental initiatives have affected the child. Effective parenting requires the complete involvement of parents in the daily life of their children, leading them through what they consider as right and that which regard as wrong. According to Shokoohi-Yekta, Rath, and Mahmoudi (2018), ineffective parenting falls short of guaranteeing discipline through high expectations among children. The discussion anchors on parental initiatives that are considered weak when raising a child; this would include addressing the shortcomings of permissive parenting as a parenting style.
Many first-time parents always experience emotional attachment to their children. The emotional aspect has ever bred a parenting style referred to as permissive indulgent parenting. Parents exhibiting such emotional indecisiveness is still tolerant, loving, and raise their children with a free-will attitude. Children have no expectations from their parents. Since parents have little to no demands from their children, their cognitive competence, and behavior become incoherent. The parents cannot have guidelines in the forms of expectations, self-control, and discipline from their children that the style is regarded as ineffective, especially when children mature into adolescents or young adults. Children brought up under such parenting styles are always irresponsible, undisciplined, and lacking in ambition.
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Example 1: Permissive Parenting has Inconsistency in Rules and Expectation
Parents who are indulgent and permissive in trait always portray a level of inconsistency when laying down rules and expectations on their children. Such parents would ever fail to remind their children of the need to be consistent in their behaviors, especially among their peers and adults (Shokoohi-Yekta, Rath, & Mahmoudi, 2018). Such children would often be prone to delinquent behavior coupled with abuse of substances such as alcohol. The underlying reason for such action would be children growing with impulsive behavior and problematic relationships. The few or no rules among parents would see children exploit that as a weakness in the parenting style and engage in actions that undermine the social norm of children raised in an authoritative environment.
Example 2: Emphasizes on Children Freedom and not Responsibility
Permissive parenting allows children to enjoy much freedom often without any guidelines. According to Gouveia et al. (2016), the lack of instilling of a sense of Responsibility among children denies them a chance to be independent. Instead, such children turn out to be egocentric and problematic relationships. Permissive parenting offers so little in children having a consistent environment for growth, making them incoherent with what is expected of them in society. In adulthood and adolescents, such children are prone to substance abuse and other social delinquent behavior. In some cases, children develop disorders, as they grow older due to emotional incoherency.
Example 3: Permissive Parenting is Nurturing and Loving to its Detriment
It is essential that we love and show affection to our children, especially when they are young. However, extraneous indulgence and love dissuade children from being independent. Excess nurturing of children substitute their initiative and intuition as they become dependent on their parents without having personal action in attaining personal milestones in their early stages as their peers (Gouveia et al., 2016). The indulgence encourages children to be egocentric and with no time or guideline to develop self-control traits, making them vulnerable to emotional upsets. Children parented through permissive settings always exhibit poor restrain and are likely to be impulsive in their reactions to any situation that they find disappointing.
Example 4: Parents using Permissive Indulgent Style prefer Using Tokens and Gifts
Using gifts and appeasement in parenting is never a discouraging idea, especially as a motivational aspect. However, continued use of souvenirs and gifts for undeserving children who do not earn such rewards hurts their cognitive growth. Without categorical outlining, the achievements, and targets, contributions, and tokens of appeasement can be detrimental to younger children (Gouveia et al., 2016). Instead of acting as a source of motivation, gifts can nurture a trait of entitlement where no clear guidelines are provided to help inculcate a sense of Responsibility in the child.
The effects of permissive parenting on child growth
The impact of parenting on a child remains throughout a lifetime. As such, ineffective parenting disadvantages a child’s growth potential considering that it is the parent who has a role in inculcating character and attitude in a child. According to Shokoohi-Yekta, Rath, and Mahmoudi (2018), critical areas affected by parenting include achievement curve, decision-making, emotional intelligence, as well as a child’s behavior. Permissive parenting fails in promoting robust character among children; instead, such children grow deficient in the necessary social skills. Children raised in permissive environments have always recorded high levels of indecisiveness when making their decision. Further, due to the lack of parenting guidelines, such children always show low achievement in academics and other activities that require Responsibility and decisive decision-making. Additionally, such children have a higher rate of delinquent behavior as well as substance abuse. The understanding nature of permissive parenting denies these children an opportunity to define what is socially acceptable and what is not acceptable.
References
Gouveia, M. J., Carona, C., Canavarro, M. C., & Moreira, H. (2016). Self-compassion and dispositional mindfulness are associated with parenting styles and parenting stress: The mediating role of mindful parenting. Mindfulness , 7 (3), 700-712.
Shokoohi-Yekta, M., Rath, J. F., & Mahmoudi, M. (2018). “Thinking Child” Program: Effects on Parenting Styles and Family Problem-Solving Skills. International Journal of Behavioral Sciences , 12 (2), 59-64.
Smetana, J. G. (2017). Current research on parenting styles, dimensions, and beliefs. Current opinion in Psychology , 15 , 19-25.
