Intimate Partner Violence Counseling: What You Need to Know

Controlling Behaviors 

Intimate partner violence (IPV) occurs when one or both partners in a relationship abuse their power and control, causing physical, psychological, and emotional abuse. For the past few weeks, I have been working with a family where the man is a drunkard who often abuses and applies negative control over his wife. Controlling behaviors within this family include monitoring the wife's communication and activities on her phone and computer, demanding that the wife quit her job to take care of their young children, and demanding that the wife stay awake until the husband comes home late into the night. The husband checks her wife's communications and interactions with friends and family on social media on the grounds of mistrust since the wife once had an affair with one of her workmates. Also, the wife works as a night-shift nurse, and therefore, the husband feels that the children will lack quality care in the absence of their mother. The husband's controlling behavior demands that the wife stays awake until he comes home is the most draining since the husband often comes home past midnight. The husband assaults and uses demeaning words on the wife when she does not respond instantly regardless of coming home late and drunk.

Navigating a Family with IPV Concerns 

As a clinician, I have worked with several families where intimate partner violence was a concern. In most cases, women are the victims, and they portray signs of physical abuse and symptoms of emotional and psychological distress. Navigating family issues involving intimate partner violence requires strategic therapeutic procedures since domestic violence is complex, considering its multiple triggers and effects on the conflicting partners. The first step in handling families with IPV is creating a bond of trust and assurance of confidentiality with the victims and offenders through active and empathetic listening. Bray (2019) affirms that counselor-client relationships determine the willingness of the clients to open up about their experiences with their partners. In the second step, I inquire about the form of violence in the family to form the basis of the counseling session. My third step in IPV counseling includes identifying and evaluating the root cause of the IPV in each family through questions. The questions include how the violence started and the probable triggers that escalated the disagreements. However, I phrase the questions carefully to avoid creating a perception that places the victim to blame. Fourth, I help the partners to formulate possible solutions to their differences and IPV. For families that decide to continue with their relationships, I help them to understand the features of healthy relationships. For partners who decide to break up, I counsel them on how to counter post-trauma as they engage in other relationships. Lastly, I connect the families to local counselors for follow-up and effective implementation of the formulated solutions.

IPV Therapy 

Couples and families should enroll for therapy if IPV is present as it affects the victims physically, mentally, and emotionally. Though IPV may not seem dangerous at first, it grows over time and might become more intense and dangerous (Bray, 2019). In addition, many victims may not realize the effects of what they perceive as usual until a counselor draws the trajectory of the minor incidences of violence within the family. For instance, families where one partner exercises negative control may be confused for care and responsibility at first but grow to slavery and lack of independence. I agree that family disputes are complex to solve without therapy since no partner takes accountability for the happenings. Also, psychological and emotional recovery require therapeutic knowledge and external help to mitigate further disorders.

Reference 

Bray, B. (2019, June 24). Addressing intimate partner violence with clients . Counseling Today. https://ct.counseling.org/2019/06/addressing-intimate-partner-violence-with-clients/