20 Aug 2022

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Marriage and Religion: How to Have a Successful Marriage Despite Your Religious Differences

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Academic level: University

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Christians and Jews, alike, view marriage as a sacred institution and a gift from God. Love and relationships constitute a central theme in the Bible, right from Genesis to Revelation. There is a general belief among Christians that God designed human beings for a relationship with Him. However, God did not want humans to be in a relationship with Him alone. He instituted marriage so that people might also learn to live with and love those He places in their lives. Therefore, marriage is seen as a reflection of God's image because each of the parties in a marriage is a reflection of God's image. As such, marriage is considered a proper platform for the accomplishment of God's intentions for humankind. However, mature believers often do not have a clear Biblical basis for their beliefs. This unclear Biblical basis for beliefs leads to various problems in marriages in the contemporary society. Therefore, having a healthy religious perspective on marriage is vitally important today as many members of the society are attempting to redefine marriage to fit the individual political or social agendas.

The Pentateuch raises significant concerns regarding intermarriage with gentiles. The earliest particular reference to intermarriage in the Bible can be found in the Books of Exodus and Deuteronomy. One of the verses warns against intermarriage with gentiles citing the potential for introduction of idolatry among the Israelites. According to the Pentateuch, intermarriage with gentiles could lead Israelites to adultery (Werman, 1997). The warnings presented by the Bible in the Books of Exodus and Deuteronomy specifically referred to the seven Canaanite nations that surrounded the Israelites. God never wanted the Israelites to associate and build ties with the Canaanites who practiced idolatry. He was wary about the possibility of the Israelites being introduced to idolatry. As such, idole worship was seen as an inevitable outcome of illicit marriages. A significant incident is found in the Book of Numbers 25, where Phineas is hailed as a zealot for killing Zimri. Having noticed that Zimri was sleeping with Cozbi, a Midianite woman, in the tent, Phineas went and drove his spear through the man and the woman killing them. This was seen as a commendable act because he did not condone evil. The reason why such a relationship was seen as inappropriate is that the Midianite women were believed to draw the Israelites towards idol worship. Idol worship, according to the Pentateuch, was a capital offense that attracted a death penalty (Ng, 2014). The Jews believed that such illicit relationships would stir God's anger, subsequently leading to the death of many Israelites. As such, marriages among the Israelites themselves were seen as the right thing to do because they held the same values and beliefs, unlike the neighboring Idolaters. In the Pentateuch, the focus is on the likely effects of exogenous marriages. The main reason why intermarriage with gentiles is seen as a problem is that it may lead the Israelites astray. The possibility of the conversion of the gentile women is not contemplated. It could be that the Mosaic laws wanted to do away with the chance of Israelites being swayed by Idolatrous Canaanite women who bordered their land.

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The prohibition of intermarriage between the Jews and the Gentiles was not based on racial discrimination. The idea of prohibiting exogenous marriages was a divine decree that had to be adhered to without compromise. It was a sacred command that was followed by an explanation. Religious leaders held that children born to a Jew by a foreign woman were not Jews. Instead, they would become foreigners. As such, children who were born in illicit marriages ceased to be Israelites. This meant that they would be cut off from the people of God. The primary responsibility of any Jew was to fulfill the precepts of the Torah, which made it mandatory for Jews to marry within the faith. According to the Torah, it would be impossible for a Jew to continue fulfilling the obligation to manifest divinity without fulfilling the will of God. The laws of Torah were primarily considered as objective and inalterable, just like the laws of nature (Lillie, 2011). According to the Torah, the only true basis of marriage is that is an important divine institution initiated by God. The concept of marriage has its roots in the Holy Bible. Marriage was not seen as a mere union between two independent individuals. Instead, it was considered a reunion between two halves of the same unit. As such, marriage serves a vital role of reuniting two souls, making the union the most profound and most essential level of self.

The Israelites were prohibited from marrying gentiles because it was believed that they could be led astray by the foreign wives. The basis of such a prohibition was religion. The Israelites were required to worship God alone. However, the surrounding nations worshiped idols. Exogenous marriages were seen as a threat to the fundamental religious beliefs of the Israelites. The Pentateuch emphasizes the need to marry from among the Israelite women to avoid external risks to the relationship between the Israelites and God. This concept of outlawing exogenous marriages is manifested among the Orthodox Jews who still hold onto the Mosaic ideals of the Pentateuch. The strict adherence to the scriptures among the Orthodox Jews does not allow them to marry women from other religions. For instance, there are significant differences between the religious beliefs of Orthodox Jews from those of Reform Jews. As such, a marriage between the two religious factions may not be recommended because it may compromise the beliefs of the spouses. Significant conflicts would punctuate a marriage between an Orthodox and Reform Jew. For instance, one of the leading areas of difference between an Orthodox and Reform Jew would be in the interpretation of sacred texts (Lazerwitz & Harrison, 1979). The way the two faiths view sacred texts is very different. The followers of Orthodox Judaism strictly believe in a Messiah, restoration of the Promised Land and life after death. As such, followers of Orthodox Judaism maintain an understanding of the sacred texts and the rabbinical teachings. They never entertain compromise. On the Contrary, the Reform Jews have a conceptual approach to the sacred writings and rabbinical teachings. Therefore, the couple will experience conflicts with regards to their religious beliefs as each one of them will claim to be right. The status of women is another important concept that draws the line between Orthodox Judaism and Reform Judaism. In Orthodox Judaism, women are not allowed to mix with men during worship and services. This is because Orthodox Jews believe that women are unclean. As such, Orthodox Jews still adhere to the strict ideals of the Pentateuch, which emphasized the need to marry from within the faith. Any member of the society who married from other nations other than those that worshiped God was considered to have erred. Basically, marriage was considered a sacred institution initiated by God. As such, God would not allow one to be united with an individual who is not of the Jews faith. Foreign women were associated with idol worship. As such, the religious leaders did not want to allow the Jews to marry from such idolatrous nations that surrounded them.

However, a contrast is drawn in the Books of Ezra, Nehemiah, and Malachi, where the ritual of marriage with gentiles is prohibited. As a departure from what the Pentateuch stated, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Malachi considered intermarriage with gentiles as a grave sin in itself. Much of the Book of Ezra is dedicated to the prophet's reproach of the Jews for transgressing the marriage laws (Zeitlin, 1957). In Ezra 9, the prophet describes his anguish when he realized that the Israelites had intermarried with the Gentiles saying that he sat appalled until the evening offering. He subsequently goes into mourning and warns the Israelites of the inherent evils of exogenous marriages (Gabizzon, 2017). He further called for the expulsion of all the foreign women and their children from the land. Just like Ezra, Nehemiah told the people to marry Israelite wives and avoid marrying foreign women. Nehemiah points out that the foreign women were the reason Jews had turned their back to God. Nehemiah lived at a time when the Jews had gone astray and left the ways of God. Additionally, the foreign women who had been married by the Jews seemed to have influenced the characters of their husbands. Nehemiah realized that there was need for stopping such marriages. According to Nehemiah, exogenous marriages among the Jews defile the priesthood. Likewise, Malachi goes on to castigate the Jews for taking foreign women for wives. He cries in anguish stating the people have done an abomination in Israel. Intermarriage is seen to destroy the relationship between God and Israel. Unlike in Pentateuch where the outcome of marriage is rebuked, the three prophets castigate the act of marriage itself, terming it an abomination.

Another striking contrast emerges from the Book of Esther, where the concept of intermarriage takes a twist. Esther marries Ahasuerus, resulting in the redemption of Jews of Shushan. Although Esther was a Jew, she ended up marrying a foreigner, who obviously did not worship God. In this particular case, no indication is made to the effect that some sin was committed as the resulting mood is celebratory. The Book of Esther seems to have no problem with exogenous unions. Based on the Mosaic laws, such a marriage between a Jew and a foreigner is prohibited. However, Esther defied such ideas and went ahead to marry a non-Jew. Esther's eponymous heroine's marriage to Ahasuerus saved the Jews. This particular marriage, despite its departure from the Pentateuch, faces no criticism by the text.

The Book of Ruth also contravenes the Pentateuch. Ruth, a Moabite woman, married her way into Judaism. The story of Ruth represents a model of how a Jew may marry a non-Jew. Ruth was married to a Jew by the name Boaz. Based on the Pentateuch, the marriage between Boaz and Ruth is not permissible because Ruth was a gentile. Following the advice of her mother-in-law, Ruth successfully won the heart of Boaz, leading to their marriage. The story of Ruth naturally supports intermarriage with gentiles, a departure from the ideals of the Pentateuch. The Pentateuch paints foreign women as temptresses who are likely to lead the Jews astray. However, Ruth is presented as the heroine when she exhibits immense determination to be part of the Jewish society.

It is demonstrable that the approach of Jewish authority figures regarding intermarriage changed from the Pentateuch to Ezra through to Malachi's times. While the Pentateuch focused on the problematic consequence of exogenous marriages, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Malachi consider exogenous marriages as sin. Marriage is seen as a critical institution from the perspective of religion. The central position of marriage in the society makes it a major concern for religious leaders. Therefore, people drawn from different faiths may have a difficulty cohabiting given the divergent views they may hold regarding spiritual matters.

References 

Gabizon, M. (2017). The Development of the Matrilineal Principle in Ezra, Jubilees, and Acts. Journal for the Study of the Pseudepigrapha , 27 (2), 143-160.

Lazerwitz, B., & Harrison, M. (1979). American Jewish denominations: A social and religious profile. American Sociological Review , 656-666.

Lillie, B. J. (2011). Chosen and Unchosen: Conceptions of Election in the Pentateuch and Jewish-Christian Interpretation (Siphrut, Literature and Theology of the Hebrew Scripture 2).

Ng, S. C. M. (2014). The better righteousness, intermarriage and Levirate marriage of the Matthean Genesis: from genealogy to community.

Werman, C. (1997). Jubilees 30: Building a Paradigm for the Ban on Intermarriage. Harvard Theological Review, 90(1), 1-22.

Zeitlin, S. (1957). The Book of" Jubilees" and the Pentateuch. The Jewish Quarterly Review , 48 (2), 218-235.

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StudyBounty. (2023, September 15). Marriage and Religion: How to Have a Successful Marriage Despite Your Religious Differences.
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