The experience of being a doctoral learner is unique to the individual, although it is also a shared experience. Upon commencement of my Ph.D., I vaguely knew that I had embarked in the process of “becoming” and “belonging”. I wondered how the journey was to be, that of molding me into a researcher. This was until my Professor elucidated that the success in the Ph.D. process comes from a combination of complementary elements. The latter includes supervision, assessment and learning practices and most importantly capturing lived experience of a person. I knew it was time to develop my identity both as a doctoral student and a researcher.
During the program, I have gradually transitioned to a researcher and part of academia via the discovery of my academic self. Through conforming to existing conventions of my field and discipline, I will be moving the field of general psychology forward. Many a time, I have felt the tension of the force of belonging and becoming pulling me in different directions, and has greatly contributed to the values that have emerged for me as a newly formed researcher. Regarding the conventions that were established long ago in academia, I have slowly come to question their acceptances as norms of social science.
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Students’ socialization has also immensely contributed to my formation of doctoral identity by offering self-reflection and dialogue. Through collaborating and dialoguing with peers, I was able to construct knowledge in my program. With them I understood how to transition into new roles. While the experience was unique to every person, I found a lot of support through the socialization sessions. Baker & Pifer (2011 pg. 15) referred to the support from the more to less advanced doctoral students as “the family tree effect.” The peers allowed self-reflection as a social network influencing my identity development, and uniquely became an avenue to my authentic research project development. This was the basis for my feelings of pleasure and agency towards original scholarly activities. Onwards, I could participate in faculty meetings and make real contributions while moving through academia. This approach assisted in examining my values as a scholar, and over time, I could establish how overlapping values harbored by different individuals influence academic identity.
I am now a fully-fledged doctoral learner with an identity shaped by an impetus to undertake self-study as sculptured by my own motivation and craving to understand myself. I draw a lot of inspiration from scholars who do things differently, challenging the discourse of standard academic orthodoxies. Their most admirable trait is seeking new ways of conducting and writing research and consequently acknowledging the existence of valuable indigenous and non-westernized ways of knowledge acquisition. They qualitatively delve in imaginative ways of understanding the world more deeply. Additionally, as a vital ingredient, my doctoral coordinators encourage the interaction of crucial elements such as practice examination and systematic research as accompaniments in the doctoral learner identity formation. Undoubtedly, this journey has transitioned me to the researcher that I am and an emerging scholar. The journey has not been a mere narcissistic endeavor but a systematic and orderly way in search of my own identity.
References
Foot, R., Crowe, A., Tollafield, K., & Allan, C. (2014). Exploring Doctoral Student Identity
Development Using a Self-Study Approach. Teaching & Learning Inquiry: The ISSOTL Journal,2 (1), 103-118. doi:10.2979/teachlearninqu.2.1.103
