It is well understood that different parents usually have different parenting styles. While some continue to employ the parenting styles that may have been passed down to them from their parents, others tend to emulate the styles by others in the society or trends in the media. Whatever the case, it is important to note that there are some factors that influence the parenting styles of people and also the attachment types. It is a matter of common understanding that children have considerable needs for meaningful human contact or closeness of an adult that watches over them. Nonetheless, the manifestation of attachment as an important element of parenting hardly implies the offers of general care to a child by a parent. A keen analysis of the subject matter shows that attachment and parenting play major roles in the determination of the outcomes of the life of the child later in life.
An in-depth review of attachment and parenting also reveal that in as much as a parent may be very close, responsive and warm to the child, the child may grow to be an adult with an avoidant and anxious attachment style. The opposite is also true. However, research has also shown that children that are exposed to parents that are responsive, close and warm tend to have secure attachment styles in future (Feldman, 2017). With regards to the trends of parenting, the secure attachment style remains to be the most prevalent. It may well be observed when infants are placed in unfamiliar environments or are exposed to strangers. They tend to draw close to the parents and exhibit a need for assurance of security. In the same cases of exposure and the parent is absent, the child is likely to show signs of distress and heightened insecurity.
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The four parenting styles are the Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Uninvolved. Many people observe authoritative parenting to be the most effective style of parenting since it promotes a stronger sense of attachment. Undeniably, authoritative parenting is characterized by a parent being more involved with the matters of the child, having adaptive control, granting a sense of autonomy to the child, and acceptance of the child (Berk, 2018). The parents also put in the effort of establishment and maintenance of good relationships with the children. Unlike authoritative parenting, the authoritarian style is characterized by stringent rules by the parents with no kind of explanation whatsoever to the child. The style is manifested by the parents having disregard or little consideration for the feelings of the child in relation to their decision-making. Again, the comprehension of this style of parenting is based on the concept of attachment. Permissive parenting style is characterized by actions of parents coming up with rules but doing little to enforce them. The parents may be involved with regular interaction and even interference with the children but they hardly offer consequences of actions or behavior (Berk, 2018). The style of uninvolved parenting, on the other hand, involves parents having no concern for matters of relevance in the lives of the children such as schooling, safety or even time for bonding or attachment.
Attachment forms a most important aspect of the foundation of the relationship of a parent and a child. Attachment serves to make the child feel loved, safe or protected and taken care of. An overall look at the concept of attachment shows that it occurs as an outcome for the elements of nature and nurture. By the function of nature, a child has an inborn need to bond and feel a strong sense of belonging (Feldman, 2017). The element of nurture, on the other hand, establishes the importance of parental responsiveness and responsibility. There are also different ways by which attachment is manifested in the relationship between parents and children. The ways may be secure, anxious or avoidant (Berk, 2018); they determine the ways by which adults exhibit signs of love, commitment, and concern for the welfare of their children.
The different types of attachment are established by the parenting style employed by the parents. One cannot decline to note that the establishment of a strong attachment is facilitated by patterns of regular interaction between the parent and the child. The four types of attachment, as described by Berk (2018) are disoriented attachment, secure attachment, insecure-resistant attachment, and insecure-avoidant attachment. Secure attachment poses as the form of attachment that is the desirable one in a relationship between a parent and a child. The attachment style involves the child observing the parent as a secure base to turn to in cases of threats and danger (Feldman, 2017). Even though the child may not cry in cases where they are separated from their parents, they normally exhibit a sense of great happiness whenever they are reunited. For the other types of attachment, the child may tend to exhibit a sense of unresponsiveness whenever their parents are present in their immediate environment or surroundings. Children that are experiencing parenting with this kind of attachment also exhibit unresponsiveness in the presence of strangers. In addition, in cases where they are separated or are reunited with their parents after periods of separation, they are slow to respond. They fail to exhibit happiness and may also not cling to the parent during times of threat or danger.
The parents usually have important roles in the lives of their children, which involve aspects of being a teacher, disciplinarian, caregiver , and playmate. Parenting hence involves the establishment of deep socialization between the parents and the child at very early stages of life (Feldman, 2017). The bond between the parents and the child is what forms the aspect of attachment. Aside from playing the outlined roles in the life of the child, parents normally form the first attachment figures for their children. Attachment is established by the closeness and commitment of a parent to the child as a function of parenting. The parent’s roles of playing and caregiving go a long way to boost the development of secure attachment. It also makes the parents be more sensitive to the needs of the child compared to situations of insecure and disoriented attachments
It is also important to note that attachment that is healthy is one that is reciprocal, albeit it is dependent on the parenting style. There is significance in the establishment and maintenance of enduring emotional connections between children and the primary caregivers (Feldman, 2017). An important factor that determines whether the attachment style between the parents and the children is the parenting style that is in play. Other factors include the sensitivity of both the caregiver and the child, the temperament of the caregiver and the child, and the existence of some health or medical conditions. Research has however shown that the aspect of temperament has ties to genetics and does not entirely occur as an outcome of nurturing on the platform of attachment. Further analysis of the situation shows that the style of parenting has a strong influence on the health, nature, and outcome since the parent remains to the one who is in charge of the determination of initiatives or activities that the two parties may engage in per time.
Undeniably, children that are exposed to parenting styles that are characterized by secure attachments with parents gain the advantage of a higher likelihood of possibilities of desirable outcomes in life. The parents not only offer the feeling of security but also help to develop character traits of self-confidence and high self-esteem. Such is promoted by the high sensitivity to the needs of the child as a function of parenting. Children that lack meaningful attachment with their parents are more likely to grow up with characteristics of anger, anxiety, and low self-esteem among others (Berk, 2018). Again and looking at the parenting styles, there is no direct correlation between the parenting style and the manifestation of healthy attachment between parents and children. For instance, situations of either authoritarian or authoritative parenting may result in the manifestation of either healthy or unhealthy attachment.
References
Berk, L. E. (2018). Development through the lifespan (7 th Ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education
Feldman, R. (2017). Essentials of Understanding Psychology, 12th Edition.
