The article “The Lost Art of Listening” is focused on providing valuable knowledge on how listening can further enhance our relationships with others. Communication is critical to improving the nature of relationships with others. Learning proper communication and listening skills can improve an individual's relationship with others. I have learned three lessons that I should be empathetic, less emotional, and authentic in communication; these lessons will help me develop proper relationships with others.
One of the main lessons that I learned from the reading was the importance of an empathetic response while listening to others. Empathy, during communication, mainly involves the acknowledgment of conflict. While listening, an empathetic response is critical to understanding and recognizing the underlying emotions and attitudes of the actors that we are listening to. Being empathetic while listening does not just mean caring about them, but also listening to their perspective. Whether I agree with what the person talking has to say, I should be empathetic enough to listen to their point of view. While total acceptance or neutrality, judgment has no position during listening. Nichols states that “there are things that have no place in friendship, and judging is one of them” (Nichols, 2012, p. 285). Hence, while listening to my friends or family, my main objective should be understanding their perspective.
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Another lesson was learning to respect the authenticity of others in relationships. Respecting the authenticity of others means having an understanding that different individuals have different expectations within a friendship. Hence, learning to listen differently to different people is essential in responding to them as they are. Through this, we can relate to others by listening to other distinct and unique individuals. I also became aware that developing an awareness and control over one's emotional reactivity is critical to listening in emotionally engaging situations.
In several situations involving communication situations, an emotionally intense environment results in a high level of anxiety, and international emotional reactivity. In these situations, it may be highly difficult for an individual to effectively listen to other parties if they become emotionally reactive. Hence, learning to resist any emotional impulses that may result in actions such as arguments, blame, or even accommodation to avoid conflict at all costs, should be avoided. These emotions bar our ability to relate with others and understand their perspectives. Based on this, I plan to be more engaged and aware of my emotions when listening to others. Controlling these emotions will be critical to ensuring I’m a better listener while also developing effective relationships with those around me. Therefore, real listening requires an individual to take a serious interest.
The lessons obtained from this reading have been more valuable than I expected them to be. Based on these lessons, I'll be more focused on establishing emotional control during conversations. Being engaged in emotional control will ensure that even when what I am listening to elicits an adverse emotional reaction, I'll place greater effort on being patient and trying to understand their point of view. Understanding other people’s point of view will help improve relationships and reduce conflicts (Planalp, 1999). A majority of relationships are voluntary and optional, making listening critical to building long-term and collaborative relationships. I also plan to be more empathetic in my listening. Due to the variety of relationships that I have, understanding that each of my friends or family members is unique will be significant in fostering better responses.
In conclusion, listening presents itself as a critical facet in establishing relationships with those around. The three main lessons that I obtained from the reading was to be more empathetic while listening to others, to respect their uniqueness and individuality, and to ensure that I practice emotional control. These three lessons will be key to making me a better listener and ensuring that it is constructed better relationships with those around me. I plan to make an active effort to apply these lessons in my daily conversations.
References
Nichols, M. P. (2012). The lost art of listening: How learning to listen can improve relationships . Guilford Press.
Planalp, S. (1999). Communicating Emotion: Social, Moral, and Cultural Processes. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
