In marriage, two individuals with different personalities and communication strategies need to identify common ground on which to communicate effectively. It is highly likely that there could be factors that will contribute to miscommunication and low marital satisfaction. Some of these issues include body language, tone of voice, defensiveness, criticism, contempt and stonewalling ( Uwom-Ajaegbu, Emmanuel, & Lekan Ajaegbu, 2015) . Body language is a form of non-verbal communication that is often present when one is communicating verbally. It will be an issue in communication when what one is saying is not congruent with their physical behavior ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . For instance, an individual may say he or she is fine during an argument but slam the door when leaving. Such behavior will result in more anger and frustration especially for the other person. To address this, it is necessary for couples to ensure that they verbal communication is sincere as it will be depicted in how they behave. Further, they need to maintain an open and relaxed posture to ensure that they do not trigger unnecessary physical reactions that make the misunderstanding worse.
The other issue is tone of voice. Effective communication will occur in a normal tone of voice where both individuals are audible and each can hear what the other is saying. Such a tone also needs to be calm. When communicating, the tone of voice will present an issue when a couple keeps shouting at each other ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . No one will hear or understand the other and the cause of conflict may never be resolved. To address this problem, couples need to ensure they keep calm when talking to one another. It is also necessary that one recognizes when he or she is shouting and ensure to go back to a point of calmness other than shouting the more. Another communication issue related to low marital satisfaction is criticism. It occurs when a spouse chooses to attack their partner and not the unwanted behavior. It is allowed for one to have complaints about the other’s behavior but it would be unwise of one is put down because of their behavior ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . It is important for couples to learn to separate the behavior from the individual so that they ensure to attack the behavior and not the person. Also, a spouse needs to approach unpleasant behavior in a calm manner to ensure that communication does not go beyond attacking the behavior.
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Another issue of communication in relationships would be defensiveness. It occurs when a spouse opts to stop listening to the other person’s viewpoint and focuses on proving that he or she is right or innocent ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . Such behavior will result in communication shutdown. It is necessary that couples learn to listen to understand and not to listen to answer. This would give one individual enough time to talk before the other gets the opportunity to speak. Even when one feels that he or she is on the right, the individual needs to wait calmly for the other to finish talking then express their side of the story while the other listens. Contempt also presents another issue in communication and it will occur when one portrays lack of respect for the other while communication. It will be exhibited through such behavior as throwing of hands, sneering or rolling of the eyes ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . To address contempt, couples need to be aware of how they react when arguing or angry to ensure that they can stop themselves before they exhibit behavior that show contempt towards the other. It also necessary that couples use respectful language when speaking to one another even when angry, to ensure that they do not disrespect each other.
Another communication problem is stonewalling. It occurs when an individual decides to withdraw from communication and the outright refusal to engage in a discussion. It will prevent conflict resolution as there would be no communication ( Brower & Darrington, 2012) . It is necessary that couples learn to communicate their feelings other than keeping silent as the problem will not get resolved. Further, a spouse needs to recognize when he or she is wrong and apologize. This would make it easier for the other person to listen and communicate.
It is evident that communication in relationships may not be as smooth and issue will arise that may result in low marital satisfaction. Such issues include defensiveness, contempt, tone of voice, and stonewalling. Couples need to be cognizant of these factors and ensure to work on them to promote health communication patterns.
References
Brower, N., & Darrington, J. (2012). Effective communication skills: resolving conflicts.
Uwom-Ajaegbu, O. O., Emmanuel, O., & Lekan Ajaegbu, C. P. (2015). An Empirical Study on the Causes and Effects of Communication Breakdown in Marriages. Journal of Sound Islamic Thoughts , 1 (1), 46-51.
