What information did you find the most interesting in chapter 8? Explain
When children are still at the tender ages, their connection with parents is high because of the attentive bond between them and the parents. However, as they grow up, psychological autonomy tends to take precedence while their connections with the parents tend to drift away. It is interesting that parents do not give their attention much to their children as they approach adolescence stage, yet they have to prevail over their children at this point lest they indulged in antisocial or wayward behaviors. It becomes confusing because teens no longer want their parents to be their pals and the communication between them deteriorates because they have developed a high affiliation with their friends. Interestingly, daughters show a sharp decline when it comes to the relationship with the parents than the sons, yet they are the ones who would require close attention and closeness from the parents.
Another interesting fact is that teens’ future relationships are affected when they miss the much-needed affection from their parents. It is easier to think that the relationship in which the teens have with their parents will have no bearing on the relationship they will have with their future partners. Parental relationships tend to incline more on what parents want their children to grow up to be. On several occasions, this has been the source of conflict between them. Parents are interested more in the privacy of their teenagers while the teens, on the other hand, would want to keep their lives private.
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What issues did you and your parents most frequently argue about?
The issues I used to argue with my parents while I was young were entirely different in context with those during my teenage years. Some of the issues while I was young revolved around great things and being great. This included the path adopted by the people I admired on the TV for them to be great and the aspects I did not have to copy from them. Some other issues included asking them why were they not like the characters I admired. However, when I was a teen, the tone of argument changed from petty issues to the ones that touched on my life especially on privacy. Privacy mattered to me most especially when I found out that my parents had ransacked my room for no good reasons. My argument premised on the question as to why I was not allowed to live my own live free from intrusion. Consequently, I used to question on why I was not allowed to hang out with my pals like watching a movie at the nearby cinema without necessarily having to be accompanied by my parents. Sometimes, I was tempted to fight back and even going physical, but I respected them.
In your opinion, what keeps parents from listening to adolescents and understanding them?
Parents would always want good things to happen to their daughters and sons. They believe that they know life better than the adolescents and have much experience with life. According to them, listening to adolescents and understanding them is a joke if it is not abandoning their sole responsibility of taking care of their children. Thus, life experience and fear for worse things happening to their children holds them from listening to their adolescents.
Do you know any adult who was abused as a child? What have been some of the effects?
One of my high school friends admitted that his stepparents overworked him during his childhood. In fact, he was assigned duties that would take long hours and even odd hours to accomplish accompanied by untold insults. Some effects of the mistreatment were aggression and loneliness. He interacted little with any of us within the school compound.
What do you think is the ideal role for grandparents to play within the family?
The role of the grandparents within the family should be advisory in nature. They should maintain a neutral stand regarding affairs of the family so that anybody within the family can seek consultation from them on weighty family issues. Consequently, grandparents can assume the roles of being mediators when an internal conflict arises in a family.
