What are your top three stressors (worries)?
I asked my childhood mentor about their top three stressors. They said that the first stressor is losing a loved on or a close friend. That kind of loss leaves the individual with a hole in their lives, and is an experience they normally do not know how to deal or cope with. The situation is exacerbated if it is an unfortunate accident and the mourning individual starts to think its their fault (survivor’s guilt). My mentor said that they almost lost their grandmother to survivor’s guilt. After a road accident, her entire family was killed and she felt she was alone in the world. If it were not for friends who helped her regain her will to live, she would have wasted away.
The second stressor is anxiety, especially concerning a sibling, significant other, and even a parent towards their child or children. For instance, parents always want the best for their children. As a result, they will work hard to give them opportunities that will increase their chances of success. However, not all children appreciate their parent’s efforts or take advantage of their available opportunities. As a result, most parents will live with anxiety and fear that their children will not succeed or that they are not prepared to tackle the world alone.
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The last stressor my mentor listed was job loss. According to her, having a stable and reliable income stream (such as from a job – self employed or otherwise) relieves the mind and body of numerous worries and sources of anxiety. When the individual loses their job, such as a consequence of the ongoing pandemic, they start getting anxious about their immediate future, especially when they did not have any savings. In my mentor’s words, everyone has obligations. For instance, parents have obligations towards their children, such as paying rent (if applicable) and house bills, while career people owe it to themselves to advance regardless of the challenge.
How do you cope with your stressors?
From the three stressors my mentor talked about, I can summarize that parents are among the highly stressed individuals in society, especially if they have children. After all, they are susceptible to all three stressors (worries). Some of them might even be experiencing all three simultaneously. Furthermore, the interview did not exhaust all stressors. As a result, the person’s response to a stressor and coping methodology will affect their mental health differently. For instance, individuals who adapt, such as preventatively mitigating the stressors or actively think of and implement strategies against potential stressors will have better mental health outcomes than those who do not. After all, maladaptive coping mechanisms against different stressors exacerbate the situation, such as increase anxiety, fear, and depression (Metzger et al., 2018; Hirsch et al., 2020). When this goes on for extended periods of time, their mental health status deteriorates, where they develop chronic mental health conditions like major depression disorder and different types of anxiety disorders (Zhou et al., 2017).
To learn to cope with stressors in a healthy manner that may lead to more positive effects, the individual has to improve their mental resilience. This can be achieved by following the following three steps immediately after the stressful event. First the individual should move physically (such as do light exercises) as their bodies are primed to act. Exercise not only distracts, but also provides an illusion that the individual is not idle but is in control. In the period after the stressful event, the individual should remain in the moment by using guided imagery and mindfulness techniques. Lastly, the individual should always stay positive, such as thinking about what they are grateful for.
References
Hirsch, J. D., Nemlekar, P., Phuong, P., Hollenbach, K. A., Lee, K. C., Adler, D. S., & Morello, C. M. (2020). Patterns of stress, coping and health-related quality of life in doctor of pharmacy students. American journal of pharmaceutical education , 84 (3).
Metzger, I. W., Blevins, C., Calhoun, C. D., Ritchwood, T. D., Gilmore, A. K., Stewart, R., & Bountress, K. E. (2017). An examination of the impact of maladaptive coping on the association between stressor type and alcohol use in college. Journal of American College Health , 65 (8), 534-541.
Zhou, Y., Cao, Z., Yang, M., Xi, X., Guo, Y., Fang, M., ... & Du, Y. (2017). Comorbid generalized anxiety disorder and its association with quality of life in patients with major depressive disorder. Scientific reports , 7 (1), 1-8.
