While there are numerous problems in the sports arena today, sexual abuse is among those problems often overlooked. Regardless of the little attention given to the above growing challenge, many stakeholders have brought to light sexual assault cases that have seen the culprits penalized for their actions. The paper presented offers an in-depth analysis of the effects of sexual assault on the image of a few stakeholders in charge of the USA gymnastics. While the paper presents the issue at hand in a great manner through in-depth analysis of the issue at hand, there are a few shortcomings that when addressed will transform the paper into a masterpiece.
The paper deserves an A- due to a few reasons, mainly the positives that outweigh the negatives. One of the most desirable aspect in the paper is the presentation format used by the author. The paper is broken down into different sections such as problem statement, background, solution, action plan and a conclusion. The above makes it easy for the reader to capture the point the author wants to drive home. Besides, it makes the easy coherent and desirable to read.
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A use of evidence to support one’s claims is another strength eminent in the paper. The author cites an example of a lawsuit against the USA gymnastics organization that was filed in 2013 and which saw the organization’s officials admit to having merely dismissed abuse related allegations. The above evidence enhances the author’s argument as it appears as an appeal to logos. In the problem statement section, the author further establishes an appeal to logos by giving statistics regarding the number of gymnasts who have been abused in the last 20 years.
One of the other desirable quality evidence in the essay is not only great argument development but also a conclusion which cites the problem again and briefly summarizes the plans as well as recommendations to the problem in question. Repeating the above acts as an emphasis to the magnitude of the issue in question. It also wraps up the essay in a manner that invokes the reader’s attention to the topic at hand.
Although the essay has an excellent presentation, there is a need for the author to further enrich a few sections. The conclusion, for example, should restate the thesis statement presented in the introduction. Closely related to the above, the thesis statement should be clearly stated so that it can act as a guide for the reader.
Although content development is great, there are a few amendments that will make it better. Research questions are a bit ambiguous, a factor that might make it hard for the team in question to apply that in the field to get desirable feedback or data. There is need to simplify them to make them more precise and objective. Another issue related to content development is the presence of a few grammatical errors that in some cases seem to change the intended message by the author. Such mistakes also disrupt the flow of information.
To make the paper even better, the writer could repeatedly proofread it, come up with easier and less ambiguous research questions, include other persuasive aspects such as pathos to a larger extent as well as complete the paper in a way that makes the reader more contemplative on the problem in question. With the above, the paper is likely to better achieve its objectives by not only delivering the intended message effectively but by convincing the reader that the problem analyzed is a menace and needs to be addressed.
