PART 1: BOOK SUMMARY
Brene Brown in her book The Gifts of Imperfection brings out how most people in the society do not live up to their true desires. Instead, they live adhering to the rules created and beneficial to other people and not themselves. There exists an imperfection in trying to fulfill other peoples’ expectations because in doing so, we do not fulfill our needs. The gift of imperfection illustrates that wholehearted living as the opposite of one-time choices and as a process that never stops through life. Also, Brown summarizes that the gifts of imperfection consist of courage, compassion and, connection.
Brown continues that being courageous makes the people around us feel safe. However, as one develops courage, they need to understand the dire need of being compassionate with others. Becoming compassionate requires being intentional in thoughts and deed, being in the right emotional and mental state and being able to take action. The book illustrates that perfectionism is a trap that can be paralyzing to most individuals. The Gifts of Imperfection helps us understand how we can cultivate personal courage and embrace compassion to achieve positive results in our daily lives.
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PART 2: APPLICATION OF CLASS CONCEPTS
Three class concepts that help in understanding Brown’s book include emotions, perception and, passive listening. The first concept, emotion is a complex psychological state that often rules people daily interactions with others and, parts of decision making. Six basic concepts of emotion include happiness, sadness, surprise, anger, disgust, and fear. In addition, emotion involves three components namely subjective experience, a physiological response, and behavioral response. The latter, the behavioral response is the one common because it is the actual expression of what a person is feeling. Understanding and interpreting other people emotional expression is defined our emotional intelligence. Besides, different types of emotions are expressed differently from facial expression, body language to physiological reactions and tonal voice.
Brown (2010) suggests that “We cannot selectively numb emotions when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” Anxiety is part of the human emotions, and each person experiences it at a point in life. Nobody is anxiety free or anxiety averse; therefore, to curb emotional anxiety become aware that anxiety exists. In that case, it is easier to treat anxiety as a reality and not a lifestyle. Managing emotional reactivity requires calmness and stillness. Brown suggests that a panic response leads to more panic and more fear; therefore, becoming slow to response and quick to think is a remedy in controlling anxiety and managing emotional situations. Stillness, on the other hand, involves creating an emotional clearing that allows an individual to feel, think, dream and, question.
The second concept perception is how people regard, understand and, interpret different events or sensations. Receiving and interpreting stimuli within the environment around us happens daily and countless times. The perceptual process begins with human sensory organs, where the information received is transmitted to the brain; after analysis of the information, we can interpret the stimuli into something understandable. A key point to understand is that we cannot be able to attend to every detail in the world at the same time. The process through which we perceive information revolves around the selection, organization and, interpretation of stimuli. Interpretation of stimuli depends on individual experience, needs, beliefs, and expectations.
An individual is responsible for how other people view and addresses them. We take different perception about ourselves on the person we think we are supposed to be. While understanding and interpreting our self, we should incorporate authenticity and embrace we are. “When we choose to be true to ourselves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing,” (Brown, 2010). Becoming true to self is a lot for people around to absorb at once, but while others perceive that a person is changing too much, it is important to continue embracing the art of authenticity. However, while embracing authenticity and building courage, it is important not to make others uncomfortable and being controversial.
The last concept is passive listening. Passive listening is an art of communication that involves listening without reacting whether a person has understood the message or not. Passive listener hears what is being said but do not retain the information, because they are not paying attention. Passive listening affects the relationship between the speaker and the listener. Also, a passive listener does not participate in a conversation. Therefore, they risk becoming more argumentative than communicative. However, to become more involved in conversations focus on what the speaker is saying, do not think of your ideas and observe the voice and the body language.
When a conversation becomes more argumentative than communicative, the passive listener will try to prove their perfection in the subject. “Perfectionism is the belief that if we live right… we can avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame,” (Brown, 2010). Do not think of what the speaker might think if you do not listen, rather focus on self-improvement. Dealing with perfectionism requires self-acceptance of shame; in this case, accept that you did not listen to what the speaker was saying and work on how you can manage the situation.
PART 3: REVIEW
Brown’s ideas in The Gifts of Imperfection teaches the importance of living according to personal will and not following other people rules helps in growth and satisfaction in an individual’s expectations. Loving and understanding ourselves are the key concepts in living wholeheartedly. Embracing our tenderness and vulnerability helps develop knowledge and claim power. The book has addressed the concepts of embracing the gifts of imperfection and incorporated the DIG strategy for even a clear understanding. However, the book should have incorporated real-life examples about other people other than the author that have successfully implemented the gifts of imperfection throughout the ten guideposts issued.
Brown’s book has a deep interrelation with the concepts of emotion, perception and, passive listening. To understand oneself and grow independently requires in-depth emotional analysis in embracing fear and turning the feeling to a positive emotion. Understanding that people have different perceptions of events and sensation is a stepping stone to embracing the self-perception of imperfection and building on it. Achieving perfection is impossible; embracing what you have done or accomplished in a specific time frame is an achievement more important than perfection. The ideologies in Brown’s book are important for self-growth in individuals that perceive to have no control of their lives and are better in following the rules made by others.
PART 4: CONCLUSION
Living beyond the rules of other people requires self-actualization and realization. Developing courage and embracing compassion are among the concepts addressed by Brown on achieving the gifts of imperfection. Understanding emotions and individual perception help in eliminating anxiety and fear. Brown’s ideologies in The Gifts of Imperfection are suitable for the audience in all demographic settings from the rich to the poor. Psychologically, the book is beneficial for the audience with problems of addressing others and letting the other party understanding their viewpoints on a matter. The middle class, the lower class and the upper class in the society encompass people who have self-doubt on what they believe. Understanding the concepts in this book helps in building individual knowledge and accepting personal tenderness and vulnerability.
Work Cited
Brown, Bren. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. 2010. Hazelden Publishing.
