The Irreplaceable Father
Most people admire their fathers and I am not an exception. After all, one of the very first persons that one comes into contact with early in life is their father. He is always the one whose grasp is tender, soft, his big arms comfortably warm, and his composure reassuring. This is the king of a man whom a child comes to know right from the onset as being his father; nature’s best possible gift to them. The bond between a father and a child is special and unique in more than one amazing way. To a child, the father is an embodiment of superhuman qualities- daddy is the one who brings the bacon home, he pays the school fees, and he is the one who chases away the ghost hiding under the bed- his roles shifts according to the situation, a superhero who is always expected to adapt depending on the circumstance. I have never had a point in my life where I did not look up to my dad. There are many reasons for this feeling of great admiration. It is often said that the three grand essentials to happiness in one’s life are, something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. Despite the obstacles and challenges my dad had to face in life, growing up, he was able to attend school late in life, raise a family, and remain a great man.
There are many people that go to college. However, far fewer people go in their forties; this is what my dad did! At sixteen, my father left his parent’s home to look for a job in the city. The only formal education he had at that time, was a high school diploma. It is not easy to land a well-paying job without a college diploma. But my father was resilient. Never one to give up hope in life, he persisted in his search despite countless disappointments. Walking from street to street and from company to company, he kept searching until his persistence finally paid off when he landed a job working on a car lot. His job was to clean the cars each morning, and for minimum wages. But as the years passed, he rose through the ranks, first serving as a foreperson, before ending up in the sales department. As fate would have it, this place would become happen to be the point of his meeting with my beautiful mother. “For us, it was love at first sight kiddo,” my dad always says. My mom was shopping for her first car when she first met my father. He was so swift in his sweet-talking that only in only a few days the two of them were out together, taking coffee. “Talk of killing two birds with one stone!” he always adds with a smile on his face. Their love was mutual, and they ended up getting married only after a few dates.
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After a few years, the love of his life started behaving differently. She would follow him to work, always suspecting that he was having an affair with one of the sales ladies. She became abusive, verbally-violent and full of paranoia. But at other times, she remained a loving, caring wife and mother. Her bad moods would sometimes last for days, weeks or even for months. At times, mom would scold us for no apparent reason, whilst at other times; she was the sweetest mom ever. If anything, she was a ‘twisted complication,' in the realest sense of the phrase. Over time her constant, persistent mood swings became unbearable -just nearly a security threat-, and my dad did almost lose it. However, a visit to the doctors would later reveal that my mother was suffering from bipolar disorder. Despite the constant pressure from relatives and friends to divorce my mom, dad held on to hope. He took over all of the mom’s responsibilities. He was the one who woke us up and prepared us for school, took us to school, and brought us back. At times, he was late to pick us up from school because of work, but all in all, he would do his level best to ensure we were subjected only to the minimal possible inconvenience. He sacrificed his happiness for the sake of his love and for his children. Most men would not have made it through similar or even less severe situations; they would have simply packed and left never to be seen again. But not my daddy!
It is often said that the night is always darkest just before dawn. Nowhere is this adage truer than in my father’s case. He had a good job in which he had worked his way up, based on hard work and dedication. He had learned to acquire the necessary skills that his job demanded only through keen observation. But things turned for the worst when an opportunity arose for mid-level management and the company had to outsource for someone younger to take the position, which my father was primed out of because he was not academically qualified. “I am sorry Sam, I know you have the experience, but academically, you aren’t a good fit for this position.” My father still remembers the exact words from his boss that day. However, this event would become an eye opener for my father. It was at this point that he thought about going back to school for the first time. After careful soul searching and much research, my father was a student again after almost thirty years! His decision to get a college diploma motivates me anytime I have doubts about doing something in life. My dad not only resumed school late in life but was also able to achieve his diploma and a degree in Business Administration a few years later.
Becoming a family man is not easy for anyone. But looking back at the situation that we were in because of my mother’s medical condition, my dad made it look easy. I remember as a kid I could not wait for the weekends so that we could go out and watch airplanes with my dad. To date, I still don’t understand how he juggled being a father with being a mother of three kids. What I know is that he became the glue that held us together as a family during hard times. To this day, nothing has changed; each of his children will tell you how great he has been. There has never been a time that he would not make time for his children, and this is what makes him my hero!
My father is now retired and owns a small car lot business. I guess he just fell in love with selling cars, having sold those most of his life. Dad has always touched people’s lives. The "car lot" is basically like a barbershop. A trip to his lot any day and you will find people who know my dad, telling stories of how he has impacted their lives. Most of them are high school and college dropouts whom he has employed to work in his business. One thing that always amazes me is that most people share my view; he is a hero who has extended a lifeline to many who were in hopeless situations.
Everyone needs a person to look up to- a hero that inspires greatness out of them. To me, my dad does that for more than one reason. The lessons that my father’s resilience has taught me supersedes life’s lessons. Were it not for my father’s resilience, I would not be pursuing higher education today. His decision to attend school late in life set in motion many things, way beyond his wildest imagination. He is the man that has stood by a difficult wife most of his life; he was there for his kids when they needed a mother and a father- to me, a real world hero by any standards!
