In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K, Mark Manson discusses self-improvement using a simplified approach of choosing the struggle to engage in and the pain to endure. In his discussion, he mentions a story of a king who lavished and spoiled his son with all manner of gifts and gave him a life fully ignorant of human struggles. However, when the son encountered the real world, he was overwhelmed and made insightful realizations. One of his realization was that life is a form of suffering where the rich suffer from their riches and the poor from their poverty. He concludes that although forms of suffering are not equal, the bottom line is that everyone must suffer. At this point, Manson, 2015 states that the mandatory nature of suffering is based on its biological usefulness of acting as the trigger for change. By being dissatisfied, human beings are able to innovate and strive for survival.
Similarly, physical pain is a feature of humanity that sets limits and ensures due punishment when the boundaries are crossed. As a result, humans become more careful and pay attention to and adhere to their limitations. Like physical pain, psychological pain also comes in to point out the overstretching of a certain limitation. Manson, 2015 acknowledges that these forms of pain enable us to tread our paths carefully and enables us to fit into our environment better. He makes a conclusion that life is essentially a series of problems and pains that keep on improving. For instance, he mentions that Warren Buffet, as rich as he is, has money problems and so does a poor drunk. However, Warren Buffet has better money problems. Through this example, he emphasises that problems are inevitable and on solving a problem, another one is created. However, happiness comes in solving these problems.
Delegate your assignment to our experts and they will do the rest.
Manson, 2015 emphasises that happiness is a reward for solving one’s problem and not bestowed passively. No matter how many times posts of articles on being happy are shared and read, happiness never comes magically. One has to work for their happiness through solving their problems progressively and constantly as the solution for one problem acts as the foundation of solving the next. Although the problems may be simple or complicated, the problems must be enjoyed for one to enjoy solving them. Finding meaning in one’s life gives them the drive to enjoy the struggle and endure the pain.
Essentially, the book provides practical solutions for personal improvement basing from life’s problems. To overcome emotional repression, one must come out of denial and embrace problems as part of reality. Moreover, the victim mentality is condemned as it gives superficial happiness that never goes beyond the short term. By accepting a victim’s role, one is rendered helpless and can only find solace in blaming others or their circumstances which temporarily makes one to feel better. This behavior is exhibited due to the fact that solving problems is strenuous while blaming is easy and yields a feeling of being high (Manson, 2015). Other ways of achieving a rush and feeling high serve as escapades from the underlying problem that remains to be solved. As a result, individuals get addicted to behaviours that make their problems go away temporarily. Frequent application of these behaviours makes one numb to their problems and the pain of confronting them becomes unbearable in the long run.
In addressing emotions, Manson, 2015 points out that emotions serve to signal when things are going well and when there is a problem. The negative emotions serve the purpose of indicating the existence of a problem that needs to be addressed. Once the right action is taken, positive emotions replace the negative ones as a reward for engaging in the right course of action. On the other hand, Manson, 2015 reasons that having a bad feeling towards something does not mean that it is bad and vice versa. Thus, emotions can be deceptive and it is crucial for one to question them.
The book takes an approach at explaining the reason for having recurring problems in life. Using practical reasons, Manson, 2015 explains that whatever makes one happy inevitably makes one feel bad. For instance, the dream job one is happy about eventually stresses them out while the loving spouse one marries inevitably fights with them. The gain is therefore a loss in a different way. For every gain, a loss and thus alleviating suffering permanently is impossible. So, the solution he offers is that we can choose the struggles and the pain we want in our lives. Practically, everyone always chooses what feels good forgetting that struggling is inevitable. For a huge salary, one has to endure the pain of long working hours and deal with massive paperwork. Similarly, a having an amazing physique requires endurance of pain and physical stress. Real fulfilment in life stems from encountering new challenges and enjoying solving them.
An interesting fact that Manson brings out is the importance of enduring the process in gaining the much desired results. He uses his own experience in desiring to be a rock star to illuminate this fact. The reason for his disappointment and quitting in becoming a rock star was that he fancied the results and not the process. Thus, he urges that for every victory, a battle must be fought and for every reward, a struggle (Manson, 2015). In the lien of self-empowerment, he cites examples of various lines of career and outlines the struggles involved in each of them. In other words, the struggle that one choses defines him and his style of life. The mentality that one deserves good things without earning them is the largely sold fallacy that Manson seeks to invalidate. He portrays entitlement as a form of a narcissistic bubble that feeds the deluded individuals to believe that anything bad happening is due to an individual trying to bring them a notch lower. To overcome this problem, one must honestly face their negative side and work towards improving it.
In a different chapter, emotional resilience is called for in addressing the entitlement mentality that brings the realization that everyone has their problems and yours are not privileged. For young people, understanding this fact serves as the first step in solving whatever struggle or pain they face. Indulging in the pervasiveness technology not only creates insecurities but crushes their expectations of unrealistic standards (Manson, 2015). Therefore, accepting one’s position and working their way out is the way out as opposed to the much peddled obsession with being great. On the contrary, accepting being average and mediocre paves the way for self-improvement.
For self-improvement to occur, self-awareness must present first. Manson, 2015 holds that one’s personality has numerous layers akin to an onion in the sense that as one moves towards the inner layers, the more likely they are to start crying. Fundamentally, the layer of discovering one’s own values comes with much tears as one establishes their standards of measuring everything about themselves and those around. Despite the massive exertion in this layer, it is the most important one as it determines the quality of one’s life. The values an individual identifies with determines the struggles they will face and the pains they will endure as success or failure in any situation is determined by what they value.
Reference
Manson, M. (2015). The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K
