The Three-Phased Process for Achieving Success

Summary 

In his book , Ending a Relationship in the Age of Media , Gareth Loken perceives terminating an intimate relationship as a three-phased process requiring making decisions, engaging in the actual conversation, and the aftermath of the breakup. In each phase, the decisions made have consequences, positive or adverse; the right choices lead to happy aftermath and a smooth transition to the next love-life while poor decisions keep you wallowing in regrets. Deciding entails identifying what you want, and the choice has to be made based on the right reasons. In this phase, personal differences in self-interest can be the catalyst of the breakup; and the other partner becomes least appealing in almost all aspects. When making break up decisions, you should be in a stable state of mind. When walking out of a relationship, in the second phase, use words like "it's over" to be clear and eliminate doubts and false hopes in your partner. During this phase, face to face communication is advised, and not to hurt the other person, each person takes blame for the failed relationship. This entails being honest and highlighting your reasons for the breakup and in a way that won't hurt your partner. This phase's main aim is to leave the relationship with the body and soul, which cannot be achieved through fighting. 

Reflection 

I think that terminating a relationship is a personal thing. Even before deciding to leave the relationship and communicating with your partner, the body, soul, and mind are already out of the relationship, and all those are just formalities. No one wants to be in a toxic relationship, and with future uncertainties, breaking up can have adverse or positive implications on either or both partners, and how you leave the relationship least impacts the aftermath. Conversing with your partner cannot revert the idea of breaking up. Actually, most people are already into other relationships by the time their partners start sensing something is not right. Deciding and communicating with your partner only gives peace of heart and mind after a breakup, and enhances smooth transition and moving on to the next relationship.