Introduction
Individuals who have experienced traumatic events such as assault, chronic illnesses, natural disasters, war, child abuse, and violent acts tend to show certain stress symptoms. According to evidence collected through various studies, it has been established that, most people have experienced at least two traumatic incidences by the time they reach sixteen years old. Research shows that, encounter with traumatic incidences can trigger acute or extreme stress reactions, posttraumatic stress disorder (PSTD), and in some cases, psychological impairment is likely to occur (Bloom, Foderaro & Ryan, 2006). Cases have been reported of individuals who engage in substance abuse following traumatic experiences. At the same time, trauma is capable of affecting the way people relate with others in real life, and treatment. This reflection paper delves on personal experience with trauma, its effects, process of healing, and coping strategies. Admittedly, the death of my father was traumatic, and has since affected my psychological, emotional, and physical being, which has in return affected the way I function daily.
My experience around trauma has been devastating. From the day I was made aware that my father was suffering from COVD19; my life was never the same again. My connections with my surrounding were no longer the same. I was often in bad mood, and I lost trust in everything. I lost trust in the facility where my father was staying. I began to doubt the place was safe, as I had thought earlier. I lost trust with the people looking after my father and for a moment, I realized the world is not a safe place. Life was meaningless because I was unable to offer help to my loved one when he was in need.
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The events leading to my father’s death affected my sense of safety and trust. Research shows that, traumatic incidences affect individual’s sense of safety and security (Bloom, Foderaro & Ryan, 2006). It shakes their confidence in the future, besides changing their understanding of meaning of life. In my case, my father’s experience changed the way I feel and think about life. I felt vulnerable and confused on what is safe and I lost trust in others, despite having trust in them in the past. I trusted the facility so much, but my father died in the hands of medical and regular staff in it.
Following the demise of my father, I started the process of healing and regaining a sense of control. I decided to take a week off from work considering my mind and thoughts were not clear. I did not have clarity after a month. I felt the world had turned upside down. I felt I needed to spend time with people who were caring and encouraging. The changes in my life were extreme, I felt afraid, depressed, and I could not figure out the future with clarity (Bloom, Foderaro & Ryan, 2006). In order to cope, I found it appropriate to speak out my experience, and I started learning ways of managing and regulating my emotions. I sought effective help from family and friends, and I sought help from a therapist.
The support that people undergoing distressing or traumatic events get from friends and professionals is critical. I have helped many people while in distress emanating from traumatic encounters. In all instances, the people in distress looked devastated, confused and shut down. Besides giving them emotional support, I encouraged them to get plenty of rest, and asked them to speak and open up about their feelings and experience. While playing the role of counseling others, I feel satisfied and accomplished whenever I see the affected persons pulling through the distress or painful trauma. I feel relieved whenever I make a person feel better again. However, it is harmful because I always find myself taking their feelings to my heart. It is difficult to control the emotional outburst and strong feelings that emanates from a distressing traumatic incidence.
While dealing with issues of sex and sexuality, I display high comfort level by speaking honestly and openly with the affected person. In so doing, I create an environment that makes the client feel safe to speak about the sex related issues. By displaying high level of comfort, I affect the therapeutic relationship since I can engage client in a fruitful discussion regarding their sex and sexuality. As a professional, I understand that, by failing to engage my client in a discussion regarding their sex and sexuality, I risk isolating them (Lam, Tracz & Lucey, 2013). With appropriate comfort level, I avoid making the client feel alienated, while at the same time remaining sensitive about client’s anxiety. I have found myself shocked and judgmental on stories I have read or heard on abuse and violence. Professionally, I am supposed to offer clients unconditional positive regard, besides treating them with total acceptance without judging them. Whenever I feel I am too judgmental or shocked regarding sexual issues, I avoid the topic altogether and refer them to another counselor.
As a counselor, I know I will have difficulty working with individuals who have survived certain levels of cruelty and violence. Whenever counselors are confronted repeatedly with exploitation and victimization incidences, and especially between children and parents, they experience trauma, and increased difficulties in personal relationships. Dealing with individuals, and especially children who have undergone extreme abuse is draining emotionally. If not careful, a counselor can end up experiencing posttraumatic stress disorder (PSTD) (Lam, Tracz & Lucey, 2013).
I have had access to good information whenever I need it. In my case, when I lost my father, friends and family were vital sources of good information that helped me to cope with the pain of losing my father. I had a hard time, and I opted to go for counseling. The counseling process was quite resourceful and I realized better ways of coping with the loss of my father. I got vital information that assisted me to accept the loss of my father, and working through the painful moment. The information was helpful in adjusting my life without my father, and ways of moving on with my life.
Romantic or sexual relationships are a development step that all people undergo. Such relationships come with a wide range of feelings. I have had healthy ideas regarding sexual relationships from my family and teachers. By having conversations with people who have experience in sexual relationships, I have developed confidence to ask questions and in the process, I have identified role models with respectful relationships (Lam, Tracz & Lucey, 2013). I am triggered by the rising cases of teenage pregnancies and abusive marriages. In the process, I have learnt to treat other people kindly, breaking up peacefully and respecting others.
On the journey towards dealing with traumatic incidences, what takes me beyond comfort level is the realization that, I have to overcome trauma. Trauma is damaging and staying comfortable is the last thing one should do (Lam, Tracz & Lucey, 2013). After I lost my father, I knew it was time to come out of comfort level and face life. My father was the only thing that mattered to me and his death was a huge blow. Despite the painful loss, I knew I had to pull through the turbulent times and come out of the comfort zone. One of the coping strategies I employed was to understand the loss and cope with it. Although I tried to employ a self-guided approach, it was not so effective. I opted to see the help of a professional counselor to assist me go through the trauma.
Coping strategies have taught me that, having secure and trusting relationships while dealing with trauma helps one to feel safe and offer one comfort. The relationship can either come from a professional counselor, friends, and workmates (Lam, Tracz & Lucey, 2013). The lessons I learnt did not challenge my knowledge on appropriate ways of dealing with loss of a loved one. I was aware that dealing with a traumatic incidence was confusing and difficult. However, it came to my realization that it is impossible to stick to certain concrete steps of dealing with trauma. People cannot adhere to specific steps, but instead, they should identify things that can work for them. From my experience, I hold the idea that it is normal to have traumatic incidences. I found models of understanding that will be helpful in my practice in that, every trauma case is unique. The appropriate way of handling with trauma is to devise ways of helping people cope and recover from the different types of trauma.
Conclusion
In overall, traumatic incidences can be emotionally draining, confusing, and devastating. Upon the loss of my father, I felt the world had come to a halt and nothing seemed to make sense. In order to cope, I opted to take some time off from my work, and later, I sought professional help. While one can apply personal mechanisms to deal with trauma, it is always advisable to share with close friends and family as it helps to ease the pain. On their part, counselors tend to get affected with extreme cases of abuse and exploitation. They may find themselves sharing in client emotions, and in some cases, they may be judgmental.
References
Bloom, S.L., Foderaro, J. F. & Ryan, R. (2006). S.E.L.F. A trauma-informed psycho-educational group curriculum. Community works.
Lam, S., Tracz, S., & Lucey, C. (2013). Age, Gender, and Ethnicity of Counsellor Trainees and Corresponding Counselling Self-Efficacy: Research Findings and Implications for Counsellor Educators. International journal for the advancement of counseling, 35 (3), 172–187. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10447-012-9175-3
