Death is inevitable for every person on earth and there is so much to learn about it, yet most people know only few things about the subject. Unlike other subjects, ignorance about death is not bliss and should be considered as a recipe for chaos. For a start, as indicated above, everyone will eventually face death and before that, a good number of personal near-death experiences. In the book Understanding Death, Dying and Bereavement by Leming and Dickinson, the authors take a rational and constructive approach on every issue and perspective relating to death, dying, and the aftermath of death. The book inspires any reader to take the subject of death more seriously from a personal and professional perspective. The authors focus more on providing as much information as possible on the subject rather than issuing their own opinion about death and dying so that the readers can make their own informed decisions.
Book Summary
In the modern times, death has becomes extremely common more so due to factors such as war, accidents, and even terrorism. The commonality of death makes is important to definitively define death itself. Among the simplest definitions of death is the transition from being alive to being dead, which is also a very literal approach to the subject (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). Traditionally, this was the standard definition of death and is still adopted in some parts of the world. However, modern advancement in healthcare technology has redefined death to the extent that the meaning of death varies exponentially, sometimes from country to country. Generally, death is defined as the cessation of both breathing and the beating of the heart. However, there is also the concept of brain death, which can happen when the heart is still beating or breathing still happening. A diagnosis of brain death leads to the switching off of life support machines to allow for the absolute death of an individual (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). The definition of death is thus neither universal nor absolute. Further, different cultures take a different approach to death, varying from extreme fear to an element of indifference.
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Death means different things to different people, with this meaning changing gradually at different ages. Young children learn about death in different ways depending on whether or not they get a brush with death, mainly through a death in the family. Older children will have known about death one way or the other including through the media (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). By adolescence, death is already a known, though perhaps not accepted reality with some adolescents even committing suicide. The concept and understanding of death will keep changing through adulthood with the mortal fear of death beginning to creep in during the midlife. By late life, there is an element of acceptance of death that includes an attempt to leave a good legacy.
To some people death is the absolute end while to others it is just another beginning, with the difference between the two being determined by culture and belief. Death has been looked at differently through the ages depending on culture and civilization. The same has not changed in modern times. Among the three major Abrahamic religions of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, death is the means to the afterlife, depending on one’s character on earth (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). Under some religion such as Buddhism, death creates an opportunity for a return to earth through rebirth. Under some cultures, death is the end whose result is nothingness. How people consider death and life after death goes a long way in determining their relationship with death.
Dying is a process and it differs exponentially depending on circumstances. Further, the process of dying involves both those who are dying and the loved ones left behind. Among the most complicated processes relating to dying for the person who is dying is death through a terminal condition for a child or a grownup. For a grownup who already understands what death is all about, death is about coming to terms with the fact that life is over. For a child, it becomes complicated for the guardians who have to combine teaching the child about death and telling the child that it is dying. Assistance through the process of dying is critical irrespective of age (Leming & Dickinson, 2016).
In some terminal conditions, the process of death is slow and full of actual and psychological agony. In some cases, the terminal ailment or its treatment regimen will be like a slow death in itself as different organs fail intermittently or permanently. Serious decisions are involved which can be overwhelming. For example, a decision on whether to accept a painful and expensive treatment that has a 40% chance of extending life by up to ten years can be very stressful. In such cases, the patient has to combine the difficulties of preparing for the eventuality of death and the vagaries of determining what treatment to accept and which one to decline. Professional assistance is critical in the decision-making process at this stage including the perspective of cost (Leming & Dickinson, 2016).
Indeed, medical practitioners such as doctors and nurses undergo specialized training to be able to deal with patients undergoing this crisis. The American healthcare system considers death from a variety of approaches some of which embrace death as part of the care process while others fight with death as if it is an enemy akin to a disease . Whether or not to hurry up the death of death through active or passive euthanasia is another critical consideration, so is the fate of the body after death. Among the available options include burial or cremation depending on culture (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). The body can also be donated for the scientific study of donation of organs. Each of the options has an elaborate pro et contra that an individual or family members have to consider before making a decision. Culture and character are also important bearing factors to the decision.
Among the most controversial subjects relating to death is suicide, which is said to have happened when individuals intentionally and actively take their own lives. Different schools of thought take different approaches to suicide hence the controversy over the subject. For example, a common American approach is to consider suicide from a psychological approach where suicide ideation and attempt are taken as a psychological problem (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). Other approaches consider suicide as an honorable departure and a matter of personal choice. Research on suicide has revealed that it is possible to read the telltale signs of a suicidal person and forestall a suicide attempt. For those who lost a loved one through suicide dealing with the loss can be traumatic and may require professional help.
What happens after death is a critical cultural subject which to some extent has also metamorphosed into a commercial subject. To some people, dealing with death is a private affair limited to close family and friends while to others it is an elaborate affair that involves elaborate rituals and activities. How to deal with death is important mainly to the bereaved through many modern people also leave elaborate instruction about what it to be done the moment they are diseased. Religion also plays a critical role in the rituals of healing with the different religious approaches also having a major impact on the healing processes of the bereaved (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). Death and its rituals have also been transformed into a billion dollar industry with the bereaved going out of their way to spend fortunes so as to create a perfect and in some cases weird send off.
The law is also an integral part of death, more so with regard to the properties of the deceased. It is important to plan well before death so as to ensure that the family is not left to struggle with complicated decisions and in some cases legal dilemmas. Preparing a will is important although in some case a trust plays a better role than a will (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). The right choice between a trust and a will depends on the circumstances of the testator, the properties being left behind, who the properties are left behind to and the taxation regimen in the area of the jurisdiction where the property is . As death is inevitable for all, seeking to place affairs in order from a legal perspective in preparation for death is paramount for all.
Finally, it is important to note that death is not just about the death or the dead as it is the bereaved who deal with death the most. In spite of the nature of death be it a sudden death or an anticipated death due to a terminal disease, the occurrence of death is always a shock for the bereaved. Bereavement comes in different phases, including incredulity, shock and eventually a feeling of guilt. It is critical to mourn the death, just as it is paramount to eventually get over the mourning process. The best possible outcome of a bereavement is when it positively molds thus creating a better person, even as it provides an improved and better meaning and purpose in life. The said the optimum outcome is only possible if grieving is handled properly (Leming & Dickinson, 2016).
Concrete Responses
My name is lemonade, the sweetness in my life that I intent to propagate into the lives of many people come from working very hard on the bitterness in my early life. The introduction above kept on ringing in my mind as I read through the book Understanding Death, Dying and Bereavement. This book talks about death, one of the saddest topics in the world from cover to cover, yet the authors find a way to make it interesting and captivating to learn. This is a classic definition of lemonade, just as I also happen to be. I was born with cerebral palsy which was diagnosed at an early age. The condition had me confined in a wheelchair and it seemed I would remain so for the rest of my life. According to everyone around me, I was going to be a great burden for as long as I lived. It seemed clear that I would never manage anything above elementary education. The opinion held by the people close to me and my family was also shared by the professionals who handled my case as a child based on available research on the subject (Efrati & Ben-Jacob, 2014). They seemed to have a consensus that with a lot of training and some help, I might have a semblance of a normal life, but not really a normal one, let alone an exceptional one. Self-pity and feeling out of place was a common feature in my life.
As I grew older, however, I realized that my capacity to comprehend issues was much higher than what I expected of myself, based on the common narrative about me. I also realized that with practice, I was gradually improving mentally, physically and intellectually. As I jumped over hoop after seemingly impossible hoop, the seeds of possibility were sown into my mind. I started changing my attitude about my situation and most importantly about my future. Leming and Dickinson (2016) talk about meeting with death instead of cowering and letting death find you, be it personal death or the death of a loved one. Similarly, I determined to meet my situation instead of cowering on my wheelchair and letting my situation determine my destiny. Slowly but surely I undertook a basic education and with time, elementary education and much later, high school and even college. After changing my mindset about my situation, I discovered that I could change my situation too and out of the lemons of cerebral palsy create the lemonade of a highly educated professional who will spend her life assisting other people who are facing impossible situation in life. It seems like a miracle, right now being able to write an assignment in a master’s course when I look back at my past and the kind of life that I was expected to lead. To the extent that Leming and& Dickinson (2016) reflects hope and the ability to overcome impossible odds and shine in spite of them, I am in agreement with the authors. However, when it comes to issues relating to throwing in the towel and succumbing to the hardships of life such as active euthanasia, I believe that hope should be encouraged. Even the slimmest of chances is still a real chance for those who dare to believe and act on their belief the way I did.
Reflection
From the very definition of death and its scope in history and also in the modern times, it is impossible not be impressed by how formidable death is as an enemy. In times as recent as the early 1900s, humans seemed almost hapless against death. According to CDC. (2011), the flu of 1918 for example killed between 50 million and 100 million people in a population less than a quarter of the modern global population. Yet in a seemingly worse flu epidemic in 2009, only slightly over 12 thousand people died in spite of a higher population and ease of global transport according to (CDC, 2014). It is easy for modernity to gloat over its wins over death apart from the fact that modernity has become the biggest partner to death. The lives saved from death through communicable disease are lost through non-communicable diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disorders, and cancer, many of which are blamed on lifestyle issues (Mozaffarian, 2016; Berger, 2018). Terrorism, war, accidents, and suicides have also increased in part due to the same modernity. It seems that whatever happens, death always wins but there must be a way to overcome this, and I intend to study until I find it.
Perhaps the most emotional segment of the reading for me was the part about euthanasia and giving up when things seem to be too hard. The part was relatable as there were times in my life when things would seem too hard and giving up was the easier option. The part I agreed with most was the slippery slope argument about not providing treatment for patients to whom treatment would seem wasted as they are not worthy enough. Having grown up with cerebral palsy, I know from personal experience what it means to be considered as not worthy enough. Having overcome handicap, I know that only quitters do not win. The ethics of seeking to determine which patients should or should not get treatment based on how worthy they seem is not only extreme but also highly unethical. Indeed, when this approach is taken, the slippery slope theory will apply and some people will be considered as less human than others.
Instead of taking the approach of euthanasia and giving up, the right approach would be from a biblical perspective of counseling that takes the perspective that all things are possible to those who believe. After all, all life belongs to God and He is the one who makes a determination about who dies and who lives. Seeking to kill people because they are going to die anyway is akin to playing God. Similarly, seeking death because of the belief that a medical condition is beyond salvage is akin to giving up on God and His ability to heal. The same approach should be adopted on the subject of suicide which shares close resemblance with euthanasia. It involves a belief that things are so bad there is no chance they will ever get better. The belief is based on a wrong premise as hope is a blessed assurance from God that always comes through at his own time while any taking of life is sinful.
Application
From a personal perspective, I have come to understand the reality of death better, both personal death, the death of a loved one, and also dealing with people who have undergone any form of brush with death. After this reading, I intend to undergo some intensive self-improvement. I would want to live a lesser burden for my loved ones as and when I depart. Many Americans have left a crisis because of dying intestate leading to major losses to the estate (Bodman, 2016) . I would also want to be ready in the case of eventualities that would create terminal or near death scenarios. From a professional perspective, I have always aspired to work as a counselor and also in advocacy for both children and adults undergoing difficult moments in life as I can empathize with them because of my own issues growing up. As I read through the book, I could not help noticing how so many people need help in so many ways to overcome life’s challenges related to death experiences, facing death, and also the death of a loved one. I have, therefore, made two resolutions from a professional perspective. The first one is that I will be ready. I intend to continue working hard on my study and expanding my counselling and advocacy skills to best be able to work and assist those in needs reflected in the books. Further, when the time comes, I will work hard and smart as long as I can to alleviate suffering including the suffering relating to death.
My action plan with regard to the reading takes two dimensions, the first relating to counseling on matters concerning death while the second relates to advocacy on matters relating to euthanasia. I intend to take the approach of the biblical perspective of counseling, a combination of faith and psychology to assist those who are facing death (Garzon & Hall, 2012). For a start, I will focus on those who have children who are facing conditions that can cause society to give up on them and consider them to be more of a future burden than a future asset. I will employ a combination of my life story, understanding of psychology and biblical teachings to implore hope and faith to them and encourage them to hold on as better times are coming. Similarly, for those who are facing situations that make life seem impossible such as clinical depression, desperation, and terminal illnesses, I will counsel hope, endurance and faith based both on my experience and biblical teachings. I will seek to ensure that none of my patients end up committing suicide or opting for euthanasia. My approach to advocacy will take the same dimension to seeking to keep death, be it suicide or euthanasia at bay. Many suicides in America are closely related to euthanasia in that many people realize that they cannot afford treatment for the conditions they are suffering thus opting to take their lives (Anson, 2016) . I will advocate for a better healthcare system that not only includes universal healthcare but also a single payer program for taking care of the terminally ill. In this way, no one will long for death because they cannot afford medical bills. I will also undertake advocacy with a view to ensure that any form of active or passive euthanasia remains illegal in America in spite of current clamoring for its legalization (Pyle, 2015).
Conclusion
A lack of understanding renders someone incapable of dealing appropriately with these issues, to personal detriment. Secondly, an overwhelming majority of the global population also faces death on a regular basis, mainly through the death of a family member, friend or associate. Failure to understand the concept of death and the right thing to do in the case of a bereavement leads to a failure to react appropriately to bereavement, making the process more harmful than it ordinarily ought to be. Finally, almost everyone will regularly have to deal with people who are dealing with some aspects of death such as a bereavement, a terminal illness, or a near-death experience. Being uninformed about death will render an individual incapable of responding properly to those who have encountered death, leading to insensitivity, hurting others, and harm to interpersonal relationships. It is inter alia on this basis that it is critical to learn about death, not just for professionals who deal with death on a daily basis but for the general population.
References
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