Indeed, female sexuality and its associated psychology are not simple but characterized by a complexity that has revamped entire research programs' scope and planning. Over the years, psychological researchers have endeavored to explain the existence of differences between male and female sexuality. According to Buss (2008), females implement their sexual tactics through an astounding array of strategies, many of which go unnoticed or their male partners selfishly ignore them. Orenstein (2016), in her book "Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape" Orenstein writes that in matters of sexuality, girls are receiving mixed reactions. For example, girls are expected to perform sexually for boys, but the importance of their sexual pleasure does not receive the attention it deserves. Further, the author notes a myriad of influencing factors that complicate the sexual landscape for women. For instance, Orenstein (2016) writes that pressures such as pop culture and pornography create undue pressure on girls, thus affecting their sexuality. These pressures negatively impact the sexual expectations that girls put on themselves and the hopes that boys project on girls (NPR, 2016). Girls’ sexual development is significantly hinged on psychological aspects of a sexual person especially associated with their thinking, sexualization, and objectification.
Overview of Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
Informed by the generation gap threats that define relationships between parents and girls, Orenstein seeks to address girls' sexuality in the modern world. Today, parents are overly possessive over their girls despite having insufficient knowledge of their daughters' sexuality. The author bases her insightful literature on in-depth interviews with tens of girls, psychologists, and academics, among other experts. Orenstein's work attempts to expose hidden truths on girls' sexuality, creating significant possibilities for their sex lives. The author focuses on a host of issues facing young women, such as sexualization, debating openly on sexual issues, and the need for sex education, among others. Generally, Orenstein notes that today, girls approach to sex and sexuality differently than their parents. For example, the internet era is characterized by casual dalliances, but due to insufficient or total lack of dialogue, sexual encounters are unsatisfying and confusing. On the other hand, society is still perpetuating its tendencies of dictating female sexuality, aggravating the situation further.
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Regardless of gender, sexual identity should be shaped at an early age. As mentioned above, parents of young girls tend to be overly obsessive, which clouds their ability to identify important cues on sexuality needs from their children. The impacts of social media and college life are too much for young women who lack sufficient and positive mentorship on sexuality. Orenstein (2016) writes that panic hit her when she realized that her daughter would never be a little girl forever and that the pink-and-pretty culture was readying her for a dangerous life later on. Parents tend to shower their little girls with love and shield them from information on sexuality, thus creating grounds for unsatisfactory sexual life for young women. According to Stubbs (2018), although the topic of girls' sexuality has been widely researched, findings from the studies have rarely been released into public discourse. Parents' failure to recognize contemporary social dynamics' potency, especially their ability to disrupt their young women's journey to positive sexuality, may result in warped sexual identities. Kar et al. (2015) note that sexual development is a multifaceted process involving biological, psychological, and social development that begins at an early age. However, it is during the immediate years before adolescence that sexual development is significantly shaped. The myriad of changes that occur during adolescence puts girls under intense pressure, which has psychological significance.
Despite the huge body of research on girls' sexuality, young women continue to face unique contradictions regarding their sexual choices, which inform the resultant negative labeling. According to Orenstein (2016), young women become sexually active between the age of fifteen and twenty, but it is during this age when they face significant double standards on their sexual statuses. For example, the author notes that at this age become profiled as "sluts" if they exhibit signs of being sexually active, while those who chose to abstain are labeled as "virgins". During this time, it is important to understand that girls are undergoing substantial physical and mental changes. Sexuality is a key force associated with one’s emotional state, thoughts, and behaviors (Smith et al., 2020). These changes influence the psychological representation of self, and when handled inappropriately, it can result in warped personality, especially in girls. Fundamentally, girls' objectification as sexual objects that occurs around this age affects the development of personal identity. As Orenstein notes, one will find a glaring difference in how boys are socialized concerning sex and sexuality compared to girls. How girls are socialized regarding sex and sexuality majorly works to their detriment. Often, it is viewed as taboo for girls, whereby they cannot explicitly talk about it and related topics.
Instead of victimizing girls to express their sexuality, society should help young women positively mold their sexual identity. In schools and other social institutions, one will find that girls are at the receiving end of misplaced criticisms. For instance, Orenstein (2016) notes how young women lack the opportunity to be mentored sexually. Girls will be told to wear appropriately because doing so is equal to respecting themselves and their families. This is a line that is repeatedly said to girls between the ages of fifteen and twenty, often associated with sexual harassment. If a girl does not "respect herself” by dressing appropriately, they establish justifiable grounds for sexual harassment. Young men pick these cues and use them to unashamedly harass young women while also victimizing them. When such a message is passed by people in high authority, such as teachers, it shapes young men's mentality that there is a correlation between dressing mode and self-respect. Girls cannot dress lightly when it hot so that they can satisfy the requirement to "have self-respect." The result of this is young women with low self-esteem about their sexual identity and who have been mentally forced to subscribe to societal demands although they are distorted.
Victimizing young women due to their sexuality and the need to carve their own sexual identity leaves girls psychologically disoriented. This corrupts young men mentally into believing that their female counterparts cannot express their sexuality freely like they do without being negatively labeled. A statement such as "self-respect," which is attached to how a young woman dresses, are meant to psychologically box girls to fit into societal expectations while also concealing mental rot among men. The negative psychological incursions against girls result in women who are not confident of their bodies and sexuality. Kar et al. (2015) write that adolescence is a stage that marks a transition characterized by significant developments of sexuality (Kar et al., 2015). For example, during this phase, a person will develop a sense of identity, forming a foundation for sexual interest. As Orenstein (2016) points out, the sensitivity that characterizes this phase, especially for girls, should be handled carefully. Indeed, there is no need to enforce selective modesty whereby young men are left to do as they wish while tough requirements are placed for girls. Continued dissemination of messages as described above negatively affect young girls’ confidence such that they cannot express their sexuality. There is a need to talk to both girls and boys about sexual pleasures to positively change this discourse.
Girls are as important as boys when it comes to laying a strong foundation for their psychological wellness especially concerning their sexuality. The human mind is the most potent tool that becomes negatively targeted when it comes to the sexuality of young women. Sex is one of the forces influencing how a person thinks, feels, and behaves (Lucas & Fox, 2021). As such, one's sexuality is directly connected to their psychological health, but it does not receive the seriousness it deserves, particularly when it comes to young women. Orenstein (2016) notes that it is important for society to think openly and objectively about girls' sexuality and the hurdles young women face in their journey to shape individual sexual identity. Preparing girls to be open about their desires and sexual pleasures is a great starting point to shape their confidence and emotional intelligence as far as sex is concerned. Regarding the latter, there should be mechanisms that prepare girls to be emotionally strong to speak their minds without having their confidence negatively affected. Throughout the text, Orenstein underscores the importance of allowing teenage interviewees to openly express themselves.
Positive communication on sexuality is a great tool that can shape the debate and societal dynamics around girls and their sexuality. According to Ashcraft and Murray (2017), for most parents and teenagers, the prospects of sharing information about sexuality are often characterized by anxiety and fear, which lays a foundation for avoiding such discussions. Fear and anxiety are key negative aspects of psychological wellness that must be addressed if girls will be able to express their sexuality without being negatively labeled. The idea of open and clear communication forms the bedrock on which Orenstein bases her arguments. Orenstein (2016) acknowledges that her approach to giving her interviewees an accommodative environment to open up and engage her in her discussion about sexuality positively influenced her research. The right kind of environment and intentions give young girls the confidence they need to discuss sexuality. As sexual beings, which a core aspect of being human, girls should express their sexual attractions without any negative profiling.
Although it is good to have sex education both formally and informally, it is important that girls are given the right kind of information. Misinformation is also a form of psychological and mental manipulation that can be used to take advantage of young women. In one of the interviews, Orenstein (2016) says a respondent said that "oral sex is not even sex" and "one cannot get pregnant of get STIs from it." Misinformation makes people vulnerable to negative influences such as wrong sexual decisions (Stefanita, 2020). The perpetuation of misinformation forms a fertile ground for confirmation bias. Orenstein (2016) acknowledges that girls engage in dangerous sexual activities because the pressure to sustain relationships is squarely on their soldiers. Young women become influenced to think that they are at the sexual beckon of their male counterparts. Girls continue to be sexually objectified, especially in a society that is entrenched in patriarchy.
Psychologists have attempted to understand how circumstantial factors such as sexual objectification affect the lives of young women. The sexual objectification theory provides that young women become objectified, thus being treated as an object of pleasure. According to the theory, sexual objectification has high chances of resulting in mental health issues that affect women (Rooney, 2017). Sexual intimacy must be two-way and founded on mutual consent and respect to maintain positive mental health and self-efficacy. Giving girls the same opportunities concerning sexuality given to young men is akin to granting them a platform to have control over their self-image, thus shaping positive social perception. A young woman who is aware of their circumstances can ask the right kind of questions because she is emotionally stable. Allowing girls to have full information about their bodies as their age befits is important. For example, parents must learn to educate children about their body parts which should escalate into sex education as they enter adolescence. Hiding sensitive information about sexuality works against the mental and psychological development of young women.
For a woman to be mentally and emotionally aware of their sexuality, then they must be provided with the right information. Orenstein (2016) argues that young women should not be ashamed of being sexual with themselves first before becoming sexually active with another. However, the issue with this concerns the robustness of one's mental and emotional posture, which is associated with the kind of information one received about their body. Suppose a young woman was always shielded from learning about her body and grew up in a society that frowned upon young women being aware of their sexuality. In that case, she cannot have the confidence to understand her body. However, this should not be approached from a girls' perspective but should also factor in young men so that they will gain an in-depth understanding of women's sexuality and be able to respect them. This is particularly true in the current age of the internet and social media. Having the right kind of information and with the right kind of psychological posture stemming from years of self-confidence and awareness will help ignite a paradigm shift in how society perceives girls and their sexuality.
Summary
Orenstein, in her book "Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape," aims at enlightening on the plight the girl faces as she attempts to identify her sexual identity. The most prominent psychological theme that forms the base of Orenstein's argument is the mental posture of young women. In shaping her argument, the author focuses on a myriad of subjects that together form a formidable argument in favor of the young women. Instead of parents becoming overly protective of their young girls, they should channel their energies towards educating and shaping their children's sexuality. Communication is key in establishing robust mentality and emotional postures as far as young women's sexual identity is concerned. There should be no points of contradiction; the aim should be to provide relevant information to girls. Related to this, girls should not be victimized because it will negatively affect their mentality and confidence.
References
Ashcraft, A. M., & Murray, P. J. (2017). Talking to parents about adolescent sexuality. Pediatric clinics of North America , 64 (2), 305–320. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pcl.2016.11.002
Buss, D. (2008). What Have You Changed Your Mind About? Why? Edge World Question Centre. https://www.edge.org/response-detail/10356
Kar, S. K., Choudhury, A., & Singh, A. P. (2015). Understanding normal development of adolescent sexuality: a bumpy ride. Journal of human reproductive sciences , 8 (2), 70–74. https://doi.org/10.4103/0974-1208.158594
Lucas, D. & Fox, J. (2021). The psychology of human sexuality. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds), Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. Retrieved from http://noba.to/9gsqhd6v
NPR. (2016). 'Girls & Sex' and the Importance of Talking to Young Women About Pleasure . NPR. s https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/29/472211301/girls-sex-and-the-importance-of-talking-to-young-women-about-pleasure
Orenstein, P. (2016). Girls & Sex-Navigating the Complicated New Landscape . Simon and Schuster.
Rooney, E. (2017). The effects of sexual objectification on women’s mental health. NYU Steinhardt .
Smith, D. M., Fox, K. R., Carter, M. L., Thoma, B. C., & Hooley, J. M. (2020). Emotional changes following discrimination induction in gender-and sexuality-diverse adolescents. Emotion .
Stefanita, O. (2020). The Psychology of Misinformation: Why We’re Vulnerable . https://firstdraftnews.org/latest/the-psychology-of-misinformation-why-were-vulnerable/
Stubbs, M. L. (2018). Girls and Sex: The Time for Truth-Telling Is Long Overdue.
