Domestic Abuse and Violence: What You Need to Know

Domestic abuse is the improper treatment of one person by another usually in marriage or in an intimate relationship whereby one person instills shame, guilt, intimidation or threat to attain and maintain dominance and control over the other (Melinda Smith, 2018). Abuse can occur to either men or women in all cultures, backgrounds, races, ethnic groups, social classes and ages. However, women fall victims most commonly. Domestic abuse is not just physical since it can take other forms such as emotional, psychological and sexual abuse. The most obvious form is physical abuse, but emotional and mental abuse may not be evident even to the victim of abuse. Damage may also occur to children whereby they may be mistreated by their parents, caregivers or elder siblings. Children who see their parents undergo cruelty from the other parent suffer emotional distress. As such, domestic abuse is unacceptable to everyone 

Abusers in a relationship are usually aware of their actions and are intended to instill fear and low self-esteem to the partner to attain control. Their abusive behavior is well calculated, and they may stop if they wish or if it benefits them to do so. Abuse does not occur instantly; instead, it sets in slowly such that it may take time for the victim to realize that it is indeed happening. There are many signs that a relationship is likely to become abusive, which differ from one abuser to another. The abuser may isolate the victim from social gatherings and meeting family members or friends. For instance, they may do this by controlling where one goes and continually checking where one is or demanding that an individual asks for permission to leave the house. They may also stop an individual from going to school or at work. Another sign is humiliation, by putting a person down in conversations or infront of other people in a manner that makes one feels his/her dignity is injured. They discourage an individual in whatever they do and fail to recognize their successes while criticizing their deficits to the extent that one feels that he/she is being mistreated. Abusers may threaten to physically hurt or destroy one’s property including pets or threaten to commit suicide if an individual does not submit to their demands. The threat may also be in the form of bad temper over small issues that would otherwise not have called for anger. They also make one feel responsible for their abusive behavior by blaming, denying, and giving unwarranted excuses. If the abuser is a spouse, they may demand to have sex with their partner without consent. To attain total dominance, an abuser may control an individual’s finances by making one account for every coin spent, stopping one to work so that they do not have money for themselves or restricting one’s credit cards. Abuse may be verbal through insults, shouting, and mocking (What Are the Signs of Domestic Abuse?, 2018) . The abuser may also act jealously in a manner that would suggest they want to possess or handle someone as though they are an object. 

The scientific causes of domestic violence are yet to be identified. However, in most instances, people who abuse their partners take alcohol or abuse drugs. The exact role of alcohol is not known, but scientifically, alcohol alters the ability to judge, reduces inhibition and increases aggression (Buddy, 2018) . Sexual infidelity among married couples has also been identified as a trigger of violence. Scientists have established that sexual jealousy and accusations for unfaithfulness most often triggered abuse and violence (Buddy, 2018) . Depression is also reported to be a trigger of abuse. Other reports suggest that children who grew up in abusive homes propagate this later in life as a coping mechanism. They grew up believing that abuse is the norm to a degree of validating it in their minds. Other triggers of abuse include prolonged unemployment, disagreements between partners, and escalation of anger (Gluck, 2016) . In patriarchal societies, systemic discrimination occurs against women whereby their husbands abuse them as a sign of power and dominance. 

Abuse progresses from a threat to physical abuse and intensifies with violence. Once domestic violence sets in, it continues through an iterative process, the cycle of abuse and, therefore, it is not a one-time thing (Melinda, 2018). 

Once abuse and violence have occurred to a victim, the consequences are usually evident physically, emotionally, and in behavior. The obvious aftermath of physical abuse is injury, which ranges from minimal to severe, life-threatening forms such as burns, and gunshots. Small bruises may be evident, and the victim may make excuses for an accident. The victim may also wear clothes that hide their scars or fail to go to work or at school after the violence. The victim also suffers emotional and psychological distress of more or less an equal magnitude. A person who has experienced violence from a partner may develop low self-esteem even though they previously had confidence in themselves. Fear may set in and progress to depression then culminate to post-traumatic stress disorder. As such, the victim becomes suicidal, and without help, this may come to reality. 

However, all is not lost for those who have undergone violence. According to Herman (n.d.), three milestones are important for recovery through psychotherapy. These include the establishment of safety, remembrance and mourning, as well as reconnecting with the ordinary world. 

References 

Buddy. (2018, September 18). Triggers of Domestic Violence Attacks . Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-triggers-a-domestic-violence-attack-66536 

Gluck, S. (2016, May 26). Causes of domestic violence, domestic abuse . Retrieved from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/domestic-violence/causes-of-domestic-violence-domestic-abuse 

Herman, J. (n.d.). Trauma & Recovery: The aftermath of violence . Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/trauma-recovery-the-aftermath-of-violence/ 

Melinda Smith, J. S. (2018, September). Domestic violence and abuse . Retrieved from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm 

What Are the Signs of Domestic Abuse? (2018, March 23). Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-domestic-abuse-signs#