Parents would always hate to see their children experience failure and the disappointment that comes with it. Lack of success among the youths can cause sadness, loss of self-esteem, and additional pressure to perform. Disappointment tends to carry unpleasant emotions that could get the better of an individual hence destroying their confidence and sense of identity and purpose. Rewarding failure has become evident in the American society as teachers, parents, and stakeholders attempt to protect the self-esteem of the youth by eliminating the prospect of failure. Although others have suggested that most children today are in an increased pressure to perform due to the competitive nature of the society, what remains apparent is that disappointment should not be avoided by all costs as it can be a healthy feeling that builds on the emotional, social, and intellectual development of the child.
One of the strategies used in preventing failure in the American society is the reduction or lowering the standards. For instance, many schools have had students who could not excel in the basic proficiency test provided by the No Child Left Behind law back in 2002 (Boutte, 2012). In dealing with this, educators made the tests easier as years passed hence allowing more students to pass the tests and ensuring that the federal funding remained intact. Educators are aware of the disappointment that comes with failure. Such a feeling can include discouragement, thwarted desire, and loss of confidence especially given that children are unable to meet their hopes and expectations. Recent evidence that proves that America is ingrained in rewarding mediocrity was observed in an education program employed in the Orange County that consists of areas in Florida and Orlando. Boutte (2012) noted that the school board decided to remove all the grades falling below 50% to reduce the incidence of school dropping.
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The natural tendency that follows disappointments among the youths is to accord them the warmth they require to relieve them of the negative feelings. It could involve rewarding them or glorify them unwarrantedly. However, research has shown that this has more harm than good. A psychologist researcher named Allison Armstrong wrote that "many parents today try too hard to smooth away life's rough edges in the hope of keeping disappointment at bay” (Chapman, & Bhopal, 2013). Placating the youth does not offer them an opportunity to determine what caused the failure that resulted in their disappointment. The children must be in a position to question themselves regarding their negative feelings and hopefully find long-lasting answers. Pacifying failure potentially instills to the teenagers a sense that they cannot handle the situation that resulted in their setbacks. Therefore rewarding failure will interfere with an individual’s ability to effectively deal with future obstacles hence making disappointment more profound in the prospective endeavors.
Friedman (2013) noted that the society today is more competitive than it has ever been in the past. The competition that children are facing at home, school, and in the playground is more than that experienced in the past centuries. The society today only appreciates the best performers but occupying the top position also comes with myriads of challenges. Parents and teachers also want the children to excel in various spheres something that is close to impossible. Good schools in the country have a limited number of seats in which children must compete to take. Parents also want their children to develop into holistic individuals who excel not only in academic work but also in sports, music, and other fields. Friedman (2013) further asserted that the implication of this is that children often find themselves engaging in activities they are least interested. As such, children today live under excessive pressure, competition, and fear, which could explain why disappointment tends to hurt even more.
In conclusion, rewarding failure has become a trend in the American society today. Teachers, parents, and stakeholders engage in the risky act of pacifying youths and children to emancipate them from their disappointment. However, research has shown that this only predisposes them to more future disappointments and denies them an opportunity to visualize their flaws in this competitive society.
References
Boutte, G. S. (2012). Urban schools: Challenges and possibilities for early childhood and elementary education. Urban Education , 47 (2), 515-550.
Chapman, T. K., & Bhopal, K. K. (2013). Countering common-sense understandings of ‘good parenting: ‘women of color advocating for their children. Race Ethnicity and Education , 16 (4), 562-586.
Friedman, H. L. (2013). Playing to win: Raising children in a competitive culture . Univ of California Press.
