The 10 Writing Principles That Will Make You a Better Writer

Dear Emily, 

I enjoyed reading your paper because of a few writing principles applied to it that made the concept presented well developed and easy to understand. First of all, the thesis statement summarizes major discussion points developed in the body paragraphs of the essay. Just as stated in the thesis statement that E-sports should be included in Olympic Games because of their competitive nature, the benefits to society and active attention, such reasons are further constructed in the different body paragraphs. Another commendable aspect of the paper is the references used at the end of the paper as well as the intent citations used within the essay. These show that the facts presented are well researched and are presented in an academically acceptable manner. One of the points of improvement in future is the use of personal pronouns in the essay. By eliminating personal pronouns such as I, the paper is likely better meet the criteria or standards of an academic paper. 

Karena 

Dear Karena, 

One of the most notable aspects of your paper is the in-depth analysis of the facts presented. In different parts of the paper, statistics are presented to show the extent of the issue that you are analyzing, the question whether it is necessary for all students to attend college. The paper is made more attractive by the several references and in text citation used to back up the facts presented. Besides the paper has an introduction and conclusion, both of which ensure the structure of the paper and development of the paper is easy to understand. On the same however, the structure could be improved by including a more precise thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph, indenting each paragraph and including a cover page that has a title of the paper, so that it is easy to understand what your research is about. Regardless, it is undeniable that the paper focuses on the topic and extensively develops it. The reasons given to support your assertions are also strong, making the paper interesting.