The best way to understand the concept of identity and intimacy is through the assessment of Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory. He was among the first psychologists to come up with a lifespan approach to human development that comprised of eight psychosocial stages. Each stage is linked to an innate conflict or an issue that a person must experience and effectively resolve to continue with the development. It is important to note that Erikson (1968) resolved to the use of the term crisis not to represent major catastrophe but a turning point. A turning point where and individual experiences increased vulnerability as well as increased potential. The most basic assumption of the psychosocial stage is that each has a successful or an unsuccessful outcome, for instance, trust versus mistrust, intimacy versus isolation, and identity versus role confusion. When the earlier stages are adequately resolved, they will directly affect the resolution of the future stage (Marcia, 1993). More specifically, Erikson (1968) foresaw the adolescent period to be a transitional time of development from childhood to adulthood. The stage began at the identity versus role confusion with the basic virtues of fidelity and devotion. Maladaptation at this stage would lead to fanaticism and repudiation. After that, what follows is intimacy versus isolation with the virtues of love and affiliation. Maladaptation at this stage would lead to promiscuity and exclusivity. The essay will talk about the relationship between identity and intimacy in adolescents, by assuming an age bracket of nine to eighteen years.
According to Erikson (1968), the primary psychosocial responsibility of adolescence is identity formation. Hence, he termed the conflict as role confusion. A majority of factors contribute to the creation of identity. According to Kroger (2004), the start of puberty during adolescents leads to the establishment of new cognitive skills and physical abilities. Moreover, the increased independence and autonomy creates a pathway for more interactions within the environment. Erikson (1968) believes that by doing so, individuals can explore new ideas and relationships. Particularly, he dwelled on a career because occupational identity is a problem for many young people. Individuals at this stage are subjected to constant pressures from the parents and peer on what career paths to take. It is characterized by many new expectations during the stage development. With an impending horizon of adulthood, the adolescents are left with questions like, who am I? Where do I fit in the world? (McAdams, Josselson, &Lieblich, 2006). Erikson asserts that identity will only be formed when adolescents can evaluate and analyse their personal attributes and link them to the appropriate outlets in the external environment. However, when individuals are incapable of matching these attributes to the developmental tasks role confusion takes place.
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Based on Erikson’s discussions, identity refers to the appreciation of one’s personality and the role they play in the society. Also, it is the personal coherence-taking place in the changing world and the transforming role requirements. The formation of identity has a strong effect on the personality if a person, which might ultimately affect their decision on intimacy. When an individual achieves identity, they experience a deep sense of ideological involvement that enables them to know their place in the world. In my opinion, identity acts as a compass that gives direction. When one enjoys a clear and deep sense of identity, they allow themselves to attain easy development. However, not every single person in the world becomes successful in this developmental task.
While trying to understand the concept of identity, it is important to tackle the concept of role confusion because, in one way or the other, they will influence intimacy. Building long lasting relationships start with the appreciation of one’s personality as well as ability to distinguish their roles. Having role confusion could be considered a stressor because individuals will start to doubt and judge their personality (Bosma, et al., 1994). Furthermore, the person can have distorted perceptions about their abilities thereby building irrational thoughts. Ultimately, this leads to a sense of loss and confusion. According to Kroger (2004), almost every adolescent faces the challenge of role confusion because of the physical, cognitive, and social transformations. With good guidance and role modelling, they are capable of surpassing this stage and progress to the next developmental stages. As a summary, I think that adolescent is the period where the aspect of concentration should be identity.
Conversely, intimacy is defined by Erikson to be the need to feel close to someone or family. During puberty, the desire for intimate exchange becomes dominant feeling because the adolescent wants to feel love and avoid loneliness. When people experience intimacy, they develop new relationships that drive them to the same mutual satisfaction (Grotevant, 1987). These kinds of relationships are often built on high self-disclosures and consensual acknowledgment of personal growth. More often than not, they are perceived to be the prototypes of adult friendships that might lead to romantic or marital relationships. A majority of people have linked intimacy to be sexual, but that is not usually the case. Intimacy can be displayed on different platforms such as in families, at work, and social life. Although, it is no doubt that that adolescent stage brings out the genital interest or lust. It is common to find that the object of intimacy shifts depending on the mutual needs of the participants in the relationship. Once this shift has been realized, adolescents are left with the task of discovering their true sexual identity. Actually, sexual identity is a crucial concept in the stage of identity as well as intimacy. It is a trial and error period for many adolescents to discover their true sexual identity (Kroger, 2007).
In my opinion, intimacy at this stage is influenced and complicated by three major factors that include the desire for security, intimacy, and lustful satisfaction. Usually, this is a tricky situation because all the three aspects have to be resolved yet they are in opposition. However, when one has a sense of identity at this stage, they will have an easy time resolving these opposing sides. Most adolescents experiencing intimacy are motivated to give and receive it.
People would be considered intimate if only they have achieved full identity separately. As an example, many marriages in the contemporary world are failing because couple gets married at an early age with different levels of maturity or identities. Let us take the example of a newly married couple where one has achieved identity whereas one is still struggling. The latter will tend to battle identity crisis because they will be striving to match their spouse. This is dangerous for maturity and personal development because personalities are different. Also, people adapt uniquely to different situations. Having a partner trying to follow and match the spouse’s identity may lead to a big crisis or even marital problems. It is logical to state that having maturity is the same as attaining identity.
Identity and intimacy begin from birth when children are acculturated through social learning as well as developing different attachment styles respectively. The adolescent stage just acts as the trial and error stage of realizing the true and ideal identity. Children often identify themselves with their parents and siblings. The type of environment that the children are brought up in plays a crucial role in identity formation. Moreover, the parenting styles and attachment styles define intimacy. For instance, adolescents bred in families with secure attachments tend to build intimate relationships with their peers, partners, and work mates. Furthermore, a majority of them tend to display high maturity levels. Conversely, adolescents exposed to avoidant attachment styles were more likely to have a difficult time building healthy relationships. A majority of this group will tend to be isolated and avoid the social circle.
As a conclusion, it is appropriate to state that it is difficult to achieve intimacy without achieving intimacy. Intimacy involves maturity and maturity comprise of identity. Hence, intimacy requires identity for the adolescents to experience success in this developmental stage. According to Erikson (1968), the primary psychosocial responsibility of adolescence is identity formation. Hence, he referred to the resulting conflict to be role confusion. Besides, the psychologist believed that progress to the next stage required a successful transitioning from the previous stage (Kroger, 2007). Hence, failure to attain identity would lead to role confusion, which might make intimacy an issue. Conversely, it would be challenging adolescents to build and maintain relationships if they are battling past failures. However, the current world has been braced with therapy to help guide and help individuals to realize their potential as well as gain deeper insights about who they really are. Furthermore, I believe that therapists or guardians should handle issues singly while ascending he stages. It will be challenging to deal with intimacy issues before working on previous relationship issues caused by identity crisis or mistrust.
References
Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity, youth, and crisis. New York: Norton
Hoare, C. H. (2002). Erikson on development in adulthood: New insights from the unpublished papers . Oxford University Press.
Bosma, H. A., Graafsma, T. L. G., Grotevant, H. D., & de Levita, D. J. (Eds.). (1994). Identity and development: An interdisciplinary approach. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications
Grotevant, H. D. (1987). Toward a process model of identity formation. Journal of adolescent research , 2 (3), 203-222.
Kroger, J. (2004). Identity in formation. In K. Hoover (Ed.), The future of identity: Centennial reflections on the legacy of Erik Erikson . Lanham, MD: Lexington Book
.Kroger, J. (2007). Identity development: Adolescence through adulthood. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.
Marcia, J. E. (1993). The status of the statuses: Research review. In Ego identity (pp. 22-41). Springer New York.
McAdams, D. P., Josselson, R., & Lieblich, A. (Eds.). (2006). Identity and story: Creating self in narrative (Vol. 4). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
